Introducing leggings. You’ll never run out of inspiration.

Big Bessie

The competition to grow the biggest marrow was becoming fiercer every year, and I sat out with a shotgun each night guarding Bessie. If she didn’t win the purple rosette, I’d not only eat my hat, I’d eat my head as well.

Alf Chalmers was in turmoil. He knew I was going to beat him, and I should have known better than to try and match him pint for pint that Saturday in the Drunken Duck.

I must have dozed off, and when I woke up Bessie was gone.

I called the police and told them to look for the marrow at Alf’s place; and that’s where they found it.

He must have slipped as he was manhandling it from the flatbed. It took four men to lift Bessie off his body.

In the end the purple rosette went to that bastard Monty Carstairs.

I ate my head.

Currently unavailable for purchase



For Flash Fiction challenge #20
And that’s where they found it

I paint watercolours and write short stories.

If you would like to pay me lots of money for my stories e-mail me

View Full Profile

Comments

  • Alenka Co
    Alenka Coover 4 years ago

    I like your concise style, Ian. The story told with ease. Funny as well. :-)

  • Thanks Alenka.

    – ian osborne

  • Glenn Marshall
    Glenn Marshallover 4 years ago

    I find I’m looking forward to these Ian – I love the way you leave out all unecessary details and tell the story in such an uncluttered fashion.

  • Thanks Glenn. This is for a challenge so it has to be 150 words or less. Tricky!

    – ian osborne

  • David Haviland
    David Havilandover 4 years ago

    Very good read, like the story idea.

  • Thanks David.

    – ian osborne

  • Enivea
    Eniveaover 4 years ago

    Love it! I’m lucky that my dog guards the pumpkins for me!

  • Glad you liked it. Yeah they need to be guarded with all those jealous thieves about.

    – ian osborne

  • annieannie
    annieannieover 4 years ago

    another cracker x

  • Thanks Annie. So are you.

    – ian osborne

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10%off for joining

the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.