This is a challenge and was going to push my boundries I stood and raised my camera to my eye and through the view finder I saw my own reflection in the mirror, I lowered the camera.
I stood looking at my reflection at the lines upon my face that showed smile lines from laughter and smiles but also the deep lines of hurt and pain of the passing years, the eyes that have seen so much and can look and still see with out a word having to be passed. As I stood and looked the deeper darker boxes that I have in my mind remind me of why I do not look, of the things that have been said and you listen and absorb and eventually you beleive them to be true you are………..
But the challenge had started and a self portraite was needed , I raised my camera and started to shoot away, some images blurred, some not even my face on the image as I was not looking through the view finder, but then slowly a smile, edge of a smile came to my face as I paused and looked through the view finder, this was starting to be fun, I looked more and closer and noticed the light on my face and a slow warmth rose up and started to fill me as a smile appeared upon my face.
Time to uploade the images I thought so as I sat in front on the computer screen I pushed the button and the journey continued, there in front of me was 76 images of me, some blurred out of focus, ceiling shots and then their was me, just looking back at me. I do not look at my face each day I may see the reflection in the mirror but I do not see me, here was me Just me
As I looked I saw fine smile lines as I am always quick to smile and laugh, eyes that are hazel and green and show my soul to the world, skin that has been weathered by the Tropics and British weather and hair no matter what I try has a mind of its own just like me,and hands that have worked hard and show the signs but now held a camera to show me my face.
I up loaded a imagecalled * Just Me* onto redbubble for all to see. No alteration or soft focus is there but the 48 year old me the face I came to look and see and noticed for the first time was me. I travelled a journey today and the chains that have bound me have slipped away, my face is my face and I like JUST ME.
Those that have seen my upload of the image Just me will see that it has been a interesting day for me. A reverlation or a crystallising moment for me. The chains have fallen and I now feel free.
To the point i will do more images of me. : )