Why I am writing this at some ungodly hour of the morning is really beyond me, I am not even sure…..blame on me sitting here looking, thinking, taking in, reading into, seeing, all the images on Red Bubble. I suppose at 5:52 in the morning, under-coffee’d, let’s the mind wander, especially when viewing art.
In fact, it made me wonder straight to the topic of this journal……“Why We Photograph….”
For me, it is not easy to describe nor easy to write about. It is rather personal in some ways, and obvious in others. It is about feeding my creative right brain, …..it is funny when I sit here editing a shot how I get lost in “the zone” and my world around me almost stops….the same way it did when I used to draw and paint. Therapy. Plain and simple. It is my meditation…..
This is one simple aspect and there are probably 1000s of other little ones along the way as well. I also shoot for a higher purpose, a higher sense of romance, and a higher sense of hope and feeling. Some of you here know exactly what I am in reference to, having followed me on deviantArt for years. Others, well, you will have to read in to that as I am kinda restrained from talking about it….sadly. And it isn’t my choice.
Let’s just say that in these last 3 years, I have learned a lot, about me, about what it means to be alive, about what it means to be accepted, loved, and given an opportunity that few will ever have. And every night I thank the Lord above for that.
It is odd though, and many ask why I am on so many sites for photography…..and honestly, for once, I seriously think I have an answer to that question……
After much soul searching the last few years on that subject, looking for an answer and never finding one, I now know why. I am what is called a ‘visual learner’, meaning that I learn things by seeing them…..this all goes back to my childhood and how I am learning disabled, still am, but have serious learned to compensate. It also explains my whole creative side…..see I suck at math, and anything along those kinda lines, but I am the only one in my whole family that is a creative. This is where I compensate at…..I am not to good on left brain kinda things. but the right side, I will jump right in the fire in a heartbeat! This has all lead up to the above question——-and now an answer why I am on so many sites……
When I view photography, I suppose I take it in differently than most. I de-construct the image, and examine it, usually I am able to do this quite quickly….having done it since my childhood. I look at it like a doctor looks at a patient…..trying to find out more about the image, how it was shot, exposed, compensated for, processed, etc etc on and on…..I learn this way! And the more photography I see, the more i learn also! As I said, I am a visual learner. I dive in, I want to know all, and photography is something I want to know more about. The technique, the process, the marketing, the professionalism, the workflow, all aspects…..all areas. How it is done, how it is presented, how it is sold, how it is bought, how it is shot, every single aspect that there is. And by being on so many sites, it allows me to take it all in…..my right side of my brain has a massive appetite…….to say the least.
However it also doesn’t come without frustration. being a member of so many sites has caused some problems for me in the real world….sometimes I get a lil lost, never realizing just how much time I spend looking at this damn screen. When I sure as hell should be doing something else. It has caused issues in my personal life, issues which shouldn’t be issues, issues that are so far unresolved. And issues which must be solved asap. Hell, I have probably said to much already…so moving forward……
I aspire, I dream, I create, I want to sell my images and dream of the day I can really make an honest living from my work, I dream of the day editors call or email me asking me if I have some shot from Colorado……I aspire to be the best I can be….and I hope one day my shots will grace the cover of the likes of magazines which you can buy in the super market.
Will it happen??? I don’t know. I wrestle with inner demons a lot, I struggle a lot with the actual ‘marketability’ of my shots. I really am not that confident in that aspect at all….I want my shots on greeting cards, yet when I try to sell them, no one buys them.What scares me the most is the thought of this———
My pictures are nice, pretty, and well done, but not something which would sell.
So I examine this, I reflect on this, I try to learn from this, and I try to compensate for this. A lot of it though is left brain, and well…..it is hard for me, honestly. I look at peoples work that does sell and I think “ok so so and so did this, so what if I…….”, see I learn….always am lol
I think all of us in many respects are on this big journey together……we never really know where it leads us, but we do know what we enjoy, and we all have our reasons why we shoot. If photography has taught me anything, it has taught me to have a better eye, and how even in the most ugly of circumstances, there can always be beauty. It has taught me to see the world and nature in a whole other way. It has made me think….and to become aware of conservation.
Yeah, I know why I shoot….I know why……I shoot because it is something I not only love, but must do.