tits and bums
my first sale
actually that’s a load of complete bollocks.
copyright or copywrong? the saga continues.
Hi Mister Khan
Hope you’re doing well. I’d like to ask politely that you consider removing the work, ‘i’m afraid of americans’, as the artist whose image it was appropriated from would like you to do so and I believe he’s within his rights to ask.
Please reply to this email when you’re done, or if you’d like to comment on the suggestion.
cheers
xxxx
dear xxxx
following a discuss…
shri lukhan's hash cafe puja party. *winners announced*
winner
whilst running the risk of being percieved as ‘a bit homophobic’ fleece has stuck a nail through both palms and one through the feet as far as the niponese are concerned. however, considering the serious plight of our singing submariner soulmates. i think the homosexualist movement would be happy to lend a little of their guaranteed collective security, as well as their intellectual…
another sunday morning.
i went out last night.
Got back this morning.
Made friends with two beauties, both named natasha (last week it was a pair of katyas) , one of whom, it must be said, was remarkably forthcoming.
Got home at about 9 am, after falling asleep, aftoer overshooting my place of residence by 3 km in the car, and walking back, to discover i’d entirely lost my keys.
I’ve lost alot in this li…
more winners.
this time it’s stringer folks-
first he added this to the global canon of haiku-
OONT VIE YOOS HARPOON?
VE HAFF OONTERSEA BOOTEN FRITZ
VE MAKE VALE KRANSKY!!!
a delectable convergance of facist ranting and whale defence, and then this
NIBBLE NOBBIES NUTS
BEFORE KNOBBING A HUMPBACK.
UPON THE FORE DECK.
which surely only he understands.
made me so excited i couldn’t even be …
newsflash***ARSE***newsflash
news flash
‘shri formerly mister khan’ formerly announces the formal inaugeration of ARSE
the underground outlawed illegal union, unifying the collective power of
Arsists
Riters
Snappers
Etc.
under the guise of a thinly buttered spiritual movement, to get round any sort of problems with being allowed.
we are all joined under the single cleft umbrella that is ARSE for t…
The rabbitollah on the new redbubble trend for sexual violence
if you press ‘enter’ alot when writing prose it doesn’t make it a poem. it makes you look nervous (check out tips for nervous writers for possible cures)
with all this sexual violence beginning to pop up, i’m starting to feel a bit left out, but i’m a little worried that becasue i’m a chap, i’m not really allowed to start banging on about tying up girls and getting all unholy
and as such …
come to 'living christianity', where christianity is 'alive'
as the new pastor of the ‘living christianity’ group, i invite you to join me.
my credentials for the role are solid.
i was baptised into russian orthodox christianity (which is way more serious than any of your protesteant happy clappy nonsense, or your catholic pope-stroking) a few years ago in the twelfth centrury monastary of st. lavrentii in chernigov, in the ukraine, in a solemn, a…
my letter to pilgrim re: 'living christianity'
i decided to post my letter to pilgrim as i believe the topics in hand are serious enough to demand public debate. if you wish to join in, please have the decency to read the entri text thoroughly, and not to skim-read or jump to the end halfway through. thankyou.
*mister pilgrim,
i’m writing to you as a representative of big bubble, as it has been you in the past that i have in the main …
***ARSE in action***
*good morning australia*
while you were sleeping, changes were afoot.
despite the conspirators attempts to stop the inevitable rise of ARSE, including an outrageous assasination attempt last friday night upon my person in the form of glass in my sushi, ARSE, against all odds, has risen. it’s path into existence was not simple, neither was it straight. like any trip to the dentists, it was not painless, but re…
good morning. it is *INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY*
the rabbitollah invites you to celebrate international women’s day
today is international women’s day, a public holiday in many of the sorts of country you aren’‘t in. a universal celebration of the power of women, in motherhood, in war, and of course, in bed.
a national holiday, the governemnt gives them a day off work. and men, too, of course- though the labour of love provides ample…
reincarnation and the past-future diapsoratic felchmuncher
‘who were you in a past life?’
today i’ve met three cleopatras and a pair of leonardo da vincis.
haven’t bumped into hitler yet.
personally i’m more interested in who i’ll be in the next life. that’s where it gets really interesting. personally i’m planning to be hitler, actually manage to carve out a living as a shit panel painter, not get interested in politics, and save the worl…
sharon stone beaver karma
sharon stone- right or wrong?
it is a simple question whether you believe in karma or not.
if you believe in it, then you can’t deny it to some and grant it to others- you just accept it as it is. everything to an extent is dictated by it, but if you take the buddhist approach, you don’t pay attention to others’. if you believe in karma, then it applies to everything. especially those u…
Prince william and 'low level excercises'
i read recently aboutr this whole ‘scandal’ about the army trying to cover up prince william’s use of military helcopters for private use, funded by the state. the guardian, which broke the story, made an awful lot of fuss about it- mainly about the army- but i was somewhat taken aback by the fact that nobody thought to question prince william’s guilt in the matter. who’s idea, excuse me, was i…
mister khan- losing friends....
why redbubble is shit…
1. because the homepage looks like the business section from a newspaper
2. becasue the logo looks like it was nicked from the business section of a newspaper.
3. because, unlike the business section of a newspaper there is nothing on the homepage that is relevant to anything from real life.
4. becasue red and grey combined have all the eye-catching jaunt…
the oral tradition
hitler has only got one ball,
goering’s
got two, but very small
himmler, has something similair,
but poor old goebels
has no balls
at all
mister khan's antiglobal astroillogical incontinental experiment.
no. 1; issues of maternal sanity.
is it just becasue i was born in 1980?
attention all nikon users
this is part one of ‘mister khan’s ice breakers’.
there was once a man with a nikon
with a lens with a big plastic prick on
he’d shoot it all day;
so happy and gay
was that man with a prick on his nikon
i totally channeled this one. i started off with nikon, and all it rhymes with is ‘prick-on’. it sort of went on from there.
attention all ford drivers
number 2 in mister khan’s famous ‘icebreakers’ series
wait in silence until the conversation swings ‘your’ way, and then throw in this little lyrical grenade into the mixer, and get the party started.
number 2 is especially suited to occasions when you might want to consolidate your middle class credentials and ‘fit in’ with other german-marque motorists, or alternatively just swear infr…
did you know...
someone keeps asking me stupid questions when i log onto redbubble, but i don’t see any space to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’, so i don’t quite understand the point.
yes, i did actually know it took a long time to build st. peter;s basillica, but i also know that it took al ot longer to build the tescos on the emscote road.
stick that up your junta.
did you know mona lisa shaved her eyebrow…
there's something in my cornflakes.
number 1 in mister khan’s very competitive ‘did you know’ series.
did you know doctor kellogg, of ‘cornflake’ fame was a ‘rehabilitator of masturbators’ – a passion which was driven, no doubt, by an absolutely healthy and normal childhood. Cornflakes were formulated specifically as a bland but nutritious start to doctor kellogg’s asexual day- kellogg believing that rich, fragrant, sweet …
how cool is this?
1986 late soviet propaganda poster (afghan war) highlighting c.i.a. funding of muhujadeen groups against USSR.
(bin laden was a primary leader. bush snr. was director of c.i.a.)
more from the soviet archives...
“if you want to be like this-
GET TRAINING!”
citizen "KHAN" opens his mouth. who will make him shut it?
so the u.s. banking system eats itself, affecting everyone and everything that is associated with it, after providing huge profits by basically lending and charging interest on huge amnounts of money to itself (suddenly the economic system isn’t a group of wolfish competitors, but a pull-together bunch of pals) – money that never did, and never will, exist- valueless promises that were dressed …
citizen "KHAN"s fucked up world, episode 1.
i received an application for a job i was advertiseing through the internet from a british asian- here’s an excerpt:
”....my parents are from India, I was born in England and have lived here ever since. By birth I am a Muslim, my parents decided this for me, I didn’t choose this ;) and I do not practice this. My former wife was a Christian and I believe all religions have a place in soci…
hotbunking in corfu
lifted from ‘the guardian’. david icke will be having babies.
“George Osborne’s candour and judgment were called into question tonight after it was alleged he was personally involved in discussions to channel a £50,000 donation from Russia’s richest oligarch to the Conservative party.
Facing a barrage of questions today the Tory shadow chancellor was made to offer a detailed account of wh…
sarkozy's brother
Olivier Sarkozy, his half-brother, was chosen by the Carlyle Group, in March 2008, as co-head and managing director of its recently launched global financial services division
charles taylor
In 1979, He led a demonstration at the Liberian Mission to the United Nations in New York City, protesting then-president of Liberia William Tolbert who was on a state visit to the U.S. at the time. Tolbert publicly debated Taylor, but Taylor made the mistake of insinuating he would seize the Liberian Mission by force, which led to his arrest by New York police. He was later released and invite…
yuschenko (president of ukraine)
someone’s deleted the bit on wikipedia about yuschenko’s amaerican wife workingin the u.s. state department under reagan
gaddafi
Gaddafi went on to study law at the University of Libya, where he graduated with high grades. He then entered the Military Academy in Benghazi in 1963, where he and a few of his fellow militants organized a secretive group dedicated to overthrowing the pro-Western Libyan monarchy. After graduating in 1965, he was sent to Britain for further training at the British Army Staff College, now the Jo…
saddam
Army officers with ties to the Ba’ath Party overthrew Qassim in a coup in 1963. Ba’athist leaders were appointed to the cabinet and Abdul Salam Arif became president. Arif dismissed and arrested the Ba’athist leaders later that year. Saddam returned to Iraq, but was imprisoned in 1964. Just prior to his imprisonment and until 1968, Saddam held the position of Ba’ath party secretary.[14] He esca…
young world leader?
Nathaniel Philip Rothschild is the youngest of four children and only son of Jacob Rothschild, 4th Baron Rothschild and Serena Mary Dunn, whose grandfather was the Canadian financier and industrialist, Sir James Dunn. As the son of baron, he is entitled to be styled “The Honourable”.[1] He was educated at Colet Court (in the same year as George Osborne), Eton College and Wadham College, Oxford….
Another October surprise?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/us_elections_2008/7684782.stm