winner
whilst running the risk of being percieved as ‘a bit homophobic’ fleece has stuck a nail through both palms and one through the feet as far as the niponese are concerned. however, considering the serious plight of our singing submariner soulmates. i think the homosexualist movement would be happy to lend a little of their guaranteed collective security, as well as their intellectual credibility to the cause, and ignore it.
winner
whale a: Do you like haiku?
I think haiku is awesome
whale b: that’s because you’re gay.
winner
if you yourself are gay and are offended by this, please simply edit the final line to read ‘that’s because you’re straight’ and remember that equality is a beautiful thing, unless of course you also happen to be a japanese whale killer, in which case i hope you are doubly offended.
being the ignoramus i am i had no fucking idea what haiku is. to be honest, i didn’t really care what it was, i just wanted to know if i am gay or not. so i asked.
fleece informed me that basically it’s what the japanese do when they aren’t killing whales or wanking on school girls.
you can be a winner too
it goes like this.
5 syllables, then 7 syllables, and then another 5. (it is about now that i start to realise that i am only talking to myself because they added haiku to the national nursery school curriculum the year after i left)
win
then i worked out fleece was really clever, and had sort of taken a photograph inside a photograph by making her dialogue about haiku, haiku.)
in defence of the practice, what with japanese being a slightly different language and all that, it probably works really well in the native tongue. but in english it does seem rather like tying your cock to the inside of your leg, but then i’ve heard that’s also a popular cultural practice in japan (see footnote 1)
winning
however, haiku does offer an excellent opportunity to whale watchers everywhere to enjoy themselves nearly as much as fleece.
so, ‘shri lukhan’s chalenge temple puja party of paradise’ is simple-
anti-japanese sentiment is worth 5 points.
bad puns will get you disqualified, though there will be a special prize for the worst
asscociated artwork appreciated.
if girls send me pictures of their breasts, it will improve their chances of winning.
(i said girls, danny.)
in the great age old tradition of ‘mystery prizes’, the prize is and will remain an absolute fucking mystery
haiku away.
banzai.
footnote 1- i just made that bit up, though i wouldn’t bet agaisnt it.
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
you kill whales fuck face
you old world culture sucks balls
me shoot you in face
retsilla, 6 months ago
Just to clarify….”bad puns will get you disqualified”
What about good puns?
And you know, it IS the lowest form of humour…...until you do it yourself.
Now THAT”S punny…
retsilla, 6 months ago
Just to clarfiy,
These haikiu’s you are seeking,
Five, seven, then five?
retsilla, 6 months ago
Want to stop whaling?
I can tell you the ANSWER!
But not fit haiku.
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
speak your mind noblet…
mister khan, 6 months ago
i piss in your new age goblet
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
oh that is a haiku…cute
mister khan in reply to LostBoy1’s comment, 6 months ago
i particularly like the absolute butchering of grammar to fit the format. clearly what haiku is all about, and lends it a very sort of ‘just translated’ feel, which will doubtlessly help the japanese understand it better. in fact, it is very effective when reciteded in a faux japanese accent.
mister khan, 6 months ago
(why nobody is congratulating fleece?)
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
yeah that worked out pretty good…shouldn`t have used the word face twice though.
mister khan in reply to LostBoy1’s comment, 6 months ago
you could pass it off as an allusion, a social comment on the hypocritical duality of japanese culture- the spotless respectable face, and the other speckled in small willy sex wee.
people go to university for years to pretend to be that clever.
do yourself justice.
mister khan in reply to retsilla’s comment, 6 months ago
there are no good puns. the lowest form of humour is putting drawing pins on unpopular children’s chairs. everyone knows that.
mister khan in reply to retsilla’s comment, 6 months ago
answer.
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
small penis human
wiping out biggest mammal
very small penis
retsilla, 6 months ago
I’ve probably thrown 10 puns your way. You saying none rattled the chuckle tank?
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
i might have been a bit harsh the other night…jenniferb…made my blood boil
i can laugh about it now
(((hugs)))
mister khan, 6 months ago
i think we’ll be able to make a nice calligraphed hand bound edition of collected verse, and have it presented to the japanese prime minister as an official gift.
retsilla, 6 months ago
None??
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
i don`t see why our limp wristed govenment does just send our finest on a covert operation and fuck them up…we got subs
i guess thats not the way things work
retsilla, 6 months ago
To summarise – no pun intendid?
mister khan in reply to retsilla’s comment, 6 months ago
puns, like russian cars, are bad. doesn’t matter how well you make them.
though saying that today not even an onion could make me cry, so perhaps i;m not being entirely fair
mister khan in reply to LostBoy1’s comment, 6 months ago
er, yeah. considering the might on japanese industry has been ploughed into creating mechanised death machine for whales, sort of like the nazi’s organised for jewish people, it might not be a good idea to start a war over whales, as it might prompt the japanese to commit whale genocide. i do get the impression although they are culling 4000 or whatever this year, they’d be quite happy to stick a couple of zeros on it.
mister khan, 6 months ago
less talk, more haiku
retsilla, 6 months ago
But not above being used for non-deplumes I take it.
retsilla, 6 months ago
Dead whales makes me sad,
Do you really need it all?
Don’t make ME blubber.
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
when all the whales gone
then you eat fucking pandas?
china bum fuck you!
retsilla, 6 months ago
That’s not a pun. That’s a double entendre.
retsilla, 6 months ago
Just occurred to me. You don’t think the good puns go over your head?
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt though. Unlike certain officialdom recently in certain games of cricket.
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
fleece
retsilla, 6 months ago
I’ll tell you another mystery – when does this comp finish?
LB1 I think you’re leading on points. All yours. Enjoy. I’ll always believe in you.
And I’ll miss you most of all scarecrow.
Gregoryno6, 6 months ago
the lowest form of humour is putting drawing pins on unpopular children’s chairs
Rubbish. You can go much lower than that with unpopular children.
Ask their parents if they ever considered suing the hospital for getting the babies mixed up in the maternity ward.
fleece, 6 months ago
OMG YAY WHEN DO I GET MY RB GIFT VOUCHER
LostBoy1, 6 months ago
when they stop whaling…
Cathie Tranent
,
6 months ago
Congratulations Fleece!! :)
STRINGER, 6 months ago
OONT VIE YOOS HARPOON?
VE HAFF OONTERSEA BOOTEN FRITZ
VE MAKE VALE KRANSKY!!!
mister khan in reply to STRINGER’s comment, 6 months ago
splendid. i haven’t felt this excited since england on the world cup in 1966- and i wasn’t even born.
come on, me lad
STRINGER, 6 months ago
NIBBLE NOBBIES NUTS
BEFORE KNOBBING A HUMPBACK.
UPON THE FORE DECK.
mister khan in reply to STRINGER’s comment, 6 months ago
this will win you honoury khanistanian citizenship, and possibly a stint in a japanese jail. keep it up.