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The essence of who I am

You are the part of me I admire most
the essence of who I am and want to be
How I came to let you go
~ to sever the bond we share
I do not know

All I know is I’m lost without you

Your tears stain my heart
burning my soul with remorse
each bloody drop echoing the cries of a trapped soul
buried alive
by my hands

How could I have betrayed you
denied you
been so ashamed of you
when it’s you I need
~ that piece of me that makes me who I am

Forgive me

Come, be one with me
impart your passion into my soul
awaken my heart with burning desire
with the beauty that is you

I’ve unlocked the door
broken the chains
removed your rags

Now,
be clothed
~ not in fashioned robes
~ not in silver or gold
Be donned in your own glory
standing boldly in your own skin
naked and without shame

I set you free
~ that part of me I need
as I need no other
~ my soul
~ my heart
~ my muse

~ me

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For many months now, I’ve been drowning in the stagnant waters of my writer’s heart. I’ve tried to write ~ as I once did; as I yearn to ~ but I felt trapped. Now, after struggling through said waters, I’ve come to see that the voices in my head, that I’ve picked up from outside influences during the course of my life and allowed to silence my “muse”, could not, and would not be silenced until I accepted me – full passion and all.

It’s as though my muse and I had been separated. And I so ashamed of the power and passion “she” possesses. She was bold and confident. I was timid and fearful. She would speak of passion unleashed, and I would water it down, “purify” it, make it suitable for the timid side of my character that feared judgement… I now realise that to not live, experience, and express the passion my writer’s heart possesses, is to die a slow and painful death.

So I am making peace with “her” and setting her free. This is an apology to my own soul – to the voice that is mine; to the heart I possess; to the writer I was created to be…

I take photos. I write. I sing & dance. Ok, I DON’T sing & dance. Not in public, anyway; & usually 2 my own beat. But I have fun, & that makes life a little more tolerable -for me. Maybe not 4 my kids. But, hey, if they can’t laugh at their mum then they’re probably the only ones who aren’t. So turn up the music & let’s boogie! (Do they still boogie these days? Gosh, I’m getting old. Best be careful not 2 throw a hip while throwing a leg!)

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Comments

  • Jeff Weymier
    Jeff Weymierover 3 years ago

    Beautiful.

  • :D {{{{{JEFF}}}}} THANK YOU!!! :) xxxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • papacheerio
    papacheerioover 3 years ago

    Fly Butterfly Fly, Fly to the open sky, a place to find out why, for many days you have cried,
    Do not be denied, for once again you will try, to fly butterfly fly
    GB/pc

  • Oh, PC… hasn’t it been a long (and, at times, a strenuous) journey…

    Thank you for this, and for the ongoing encouragement and love you have given me over the years. I am so very grateful…

    I love you. {{{{{{{{{{{{PC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • shortshooter-Al
    shortshooter-Alover 3 years ago

    Beautifully written Donna. Be happy Mate!

  • {{{{{AL}}}}} Thank you… xxxxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • ozzzywoman
    ozzzywomanover 3 years ago

    You go girl, be free to be who you are!

  • {{{{MANDY}}}} When I was thinking about these things today, you entered my mind – along with the conversation we had when we went for a cuppa. :)

    Thank you, my friend!!! Greatly appreciated!!! :) xxxxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • Jordan Miscamble
    Jordan Miscambleover 3 years ago

    A wonderful exploration of the ‘Self’! Good on you Donna!

  • {{{JORDAN}}} THANK YOU!!!! :D xxxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • waxyfrog
    waxyfrogover 3 years ago

    Wonderful as always Donna. you can do it if anyone can .

  • {{{{{BARB}}}}} With all my heart, Barb, I thank you!!!! xxxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • waxyfrog
    waxyfrogover 3 years ago

    Wonderful as always. You can do it if anyone can.

  • Sally Omar
    Sally Omarover 3 years ago

  • That is fantastic! Thank you SO much!!! :D xxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • labaker
    labakerover 3 years ago

    Amazing work you……..:D

    be happy………

  • :) {{{{{LARRY}}}}}

    You are loved, my friend!!

    Thank you! xxx

    – Donna Keevers Driver

  • SimplyRed
    SimplyRedover 3 years ago

    :

  • Thank you so much!! :D Greatly appreciated!!!

    – Donna Keevers Driver

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