Do you remember what it was like when you first fell in love with your partner? For Tim and I, that was over 21 years ago… A lot has happened in between now and then, but we’re still together, still happy to be with one another. However, recently, something made me stop and rethink my marriage, and what I found in my heart was a longing which quickly transformed into a new prayer. And that prayer is, “Father, make Tim and I one…”
As a Christian, I have learned that God instructs a husband and his wife to become “one” – to be of one heart, one direction, partners in the course of their life… but as a human in a world that is highly distracting, I’ve also noticed that time can cause the romantic side of a relationship to fade somewhat, and, then, from there, all attraction can dwindle away and can lead to the ‘one’ becoming two again.
I’m still attracted to Tim. I find him very pleasing in many ways. :) I still love him and I still want him… but I realise now that, over the years, I’ve grown a little lazy in the romance department. 21 years, 6 kids, issue after issue, concern after concern, and so on, can do that… but my new prayer has me turning back to Tim with more of my heart.
In one day of praying this prayer, I have already found more desire and passion for him than I was already nurturing. I’ve found that old eagerness to embrace him a little longer and tighter when he gets home. I’ve found that longing to lay in his arms a little longer at night; to touch him more; to look into his eyes more; to love him more in every way. Even my eye is turning away from the internet more and back to him.
You know, when Tim first claimed he loved me, and when he married me, and way, way down the road sometime later when he still professed to love me – even after living with me day in and day out, I thought there must by something wrong with him to love me as he did. I have always thought his love is a miracle. This morning, the day after starting that prayer, I find more of the miracle: Suddenly I realise that Tim is the ONLY man to have touched my insecurities and survived. The guy deserves my love! He fought the dragons of my insecurities and won! He is worthy of the heart hidden behind the insecurities. Him and only him. This turns my heart towards him even more… What a great response to prayer that was.
I’m not sure why I’m sharing this with you. I just felt the need to… and I hope this encourages someone somewhere.
[Photo taken by our daughter, Kathleen Driver – by Budgewoi Lake, Toukley, NSW, Australia, at sunset.]