When Tomorrow Doesn't Come

Just sharing a few thoughts with you. This is off-the-cuff. It’s not a polished, edited piece of work, just some themes that have manifested themselves to me of late, and I thought I’d share them….

I die a little death inside every time I discover someone who left a positive mark on my life is now gone from my circle of access, whether it be online, or in ‘real’ life. I’ll be sitting thinking, and suddenly recall someone whose words, drawing, painting, photography, or other creations, actions or words touched my life at some time and so I decide to go and see what that person is doing…and they’re just – gone. Not there anymore. Not even a chance to say goodbye. That person may not even have remembered me had I stopped in and just said hi, or sent them a bmail, email, etc., but I remember them, and it seems it is not until they are no longer there that I truly feel just how much and how positively that person had touched my life. On the other hand, it’s just possible that I meant a whole lot more to that person than I ever realized.

We matter to each other. No matter how aloof or independent we think we are, or how we strive to be self-sufficient, the fact remains that we are all in this together, and in every encounter, we touch one another’s lives for better or worse. I think it is very important that we think very carefully of how we interact with others, and choose our words very carefully and with great compassion for the human spirit, the human psyche, and that we consider the frailty of our selves, tempering our every response with as much love as we can find within ourselves – because it may make much more of a mark on someone else’s life than we could ever realize. The few words of encouragement we offer, or console, or acknowledge could induce a very important change in the pathway of the life of another person. I’ve seen it, and experienced it first hand!

The omissions we make are important too. I read in a study of near death experiences that there was revealed a common theme of sorrow felt for love withheld. The person facing their own death was made to realize that it meant something when they had had an opportunity to offer love and kindness to someone else and they had withheld that love. That withholding can hurt others just as surely as if we made a negative comment or did something to intentionally hurt someone.

There have been times where someone has written to me and I didn’t know how to respond, so I just procrastinated. Revisiting from time to time what they had written, often something very personal and/or profound, which had given me pause to consider if I wanted to respond, and, if so, exactly how I should respond. Then, in the paralysis of delay that is procrastination, time moved on, and when I finally decided to reach out to that person they were – gone – just not there. What an empty feeling! How awful, and deep is the sorrow that such an experience can produce, and what a weight to carry.

Life is short. The greatest thing of all that we can do is to LOVE one another. It is the most noble of all human traits. Don’t wait too long to reach out to others, because the opportunity may be much more fleeting than we had anticipated.

God bless you, and to those who may have awaited something from me that never came, I am so wholeheartedly contrite for my omission. Despite all the bad things I’ve experienced, the failings, gaffes, errors, and misconceptions that I’m constantly striving to rectify, down inside me there is a very very good person, a person who only wants to give and receive the pure love God put into each of us. There is that good person in each of us. May we each strive to find him/her, and, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE, to share that love with each other.

-Katya

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Tags:

agape, caring, love, separation and time