Had I been as mature as I should have been at that age, the argument that ensued briefly thereafter might not have been so fierce and painful. As the full realisation of Demeter’s plans became apparent to me – my fear, sadness, love, confusion and hurt combined in anger. I, in no uncertain terms, let loose with a barrage of confronting words directed spitefully and hurtfully at my mother. I did not want her to go away, surely ‘safe’ meant to be with her always.
I could not be angry long though because her eyes told me of her desperation and in my head I felt her plead forgiveness, trust and understanding. I ran and hugged her as I cried.
Demeter put her arm around my shoulders and gently led me into the cavernous looking room. My bedroom was pretty and ornate and appealed to a deep sense of adventure. She knew me and what surrounded me evoked a feeling of safety and comfort. A romantic notion of independence swept over me as I began to explore my new dwelling.
I watched her smile at my adaptable attitude as her desire to be away from this confronting moment worked pain inside us. She began to fidget and nervously tug at the serpentine jewel that fastened her long olive green cloak. I knew there was more to it, but there was nothing I could say now. I had resigned myself to a new adventure. I resolved within to not let the issue die. I would just let it go for a while. That is if she ever came back.
With that thought and stunned wide eyes, I let her lead me by the hand out of the cave and watched her step off the ledge onto her black chariot. Her loyal Drakons, almost purring their hisses of pleasure at her return, looked at me with dark affection and they seemed to share my sorrow. I hoped that they knew I loved them and would miss them and more pain at the actualisation of separation stabbed at me. I let out a wail and dropped to my knees as they nuzzled me with sad familiarity. Demeter knelt next to me and waited for my emotions to balance again. She spoke so softly and seriously it almost seemed another language. “I need you to trust in me Persephone,” she paused and made sure she had my undivided attention and eye contact locked. Then she dropped her gaze, just a little, and I could not bare her beauty, I tried not to cry. I tried to be everything she needed me to be but I was sobbing uncontrollably and trying desperately to focus through the rain in my eyes at her carefully planned words passing over her lips.
Demeter was patient. What could she expect? She didn’t want this to be the way but she had kept all these details from me because that’s what the forces had demanded of her. In a Universe full of secrets and suspicion, clarity was something that was rare to ‘them’, and trusting in clarity was even more difficult to find faith in. The signs were clear to Demeter, and stronger than anything she had ever experienced before, this is what she needed to do. The great Seer of astrology, Astraeos, had prophesied it with insistence and even urgency, I needed to be castrated from all I knew and set adrift from a warm safe predictable life, for good or ill.
“You need to trust in the stars and know that whatever happens, you are being coveted and loved. There is more in the Universe for you to learn, and sometimes you can only learn alone,” but her words trailed off and her head snapped sharply to the horizon. I followed her gaze to see the black army of storm clouds descending mightily on the rocks. The water was lashing in the wind and I felt cold to the bone. Demeter turned to me again and calmed a panic that I saw her shove back inside her. With composure and authority she urged me inside, almost as if this new stress had relieved her of the current stress. “Persephone!” I was standing blank faced, “go inside!” She turned and almost pushed me along into the cave and quietly and quickly whispered, “I will leave two of the serpents, they will defend you… and keep you company. I will come back soon Seph, you know that don’t you?” she cradled my chin, “don’t you?” I nodded, but then she left. And I was alone with the Drakons quietly with their charge.
I sat on the floor. I lay down. And I slept with the wind and rain animating the Earth.
The great Seer of astrology, Astraeos, had prophesied it with insistence and even urgency, I needed to be castrated from all I knew and set adrift from a warm safe predictable life, for good or ill….
It was a while coming but there was more research to be done. Hope you enjoy the next installment.
Part two of this story.