l The BodyAlone in the cornerlocked in.Captive behind calcium barswhich have grown brittle,the paint worn thin,dry and flaky.Crouching and cold,wrapped inside bent kneestied with twisted arms,a keen reflection of the lockthat keeps me bound.Age-hobbled with seasons,brain-addled with tribulations,body-gnarled with diseaseboth my captor and me.ll The SeeingMy world through tinyviscous windows,scratched and dull,have grown glaucomic.No matter how hardneckitwistitwistnecktwistmyneckmynecktwistI see only slivers of sky.Skies ofblue orwhite orgrey.Sometimes evenredsky at nightgiving sailors delight.But nothing more than skyfor my cloudy eyeto spy.lll The StrengthAn old wife whispers,’For the wickedthere will be no rest’.How fiendish I must be asstiff, rusty coilscramp and convulse,steel grinding steel,muscle against muscle,and bone on bone.Metal screeches so shrillymy ears bleed,until springs jump unsprunghope eternaland taunt taut tendons to beak free.Finally ligaments relinquish their hold too,leaving behinda tick of straw flopping to the floor.manlV The SelfThe only other I seenow a stranger to mewho I used to knownot so long ago.Peering at her from beyondwavering particles of light,until one day she toosays she must go.Suddenlyreflection shatters sharplyand light refracts blindingly,leaving scattered, distortedhalf-images upon walls.I watch her at her leavetakingas the abyss steals in swallowing shadows.But fearless she weaves in and out of darknessthrough which she and her love,through which she and her hate,are able to find cryptic fissureswhere she makes good her escape.Vl The MindTricks are playing on my mind,Tom the fool-er has a toe-hold,the eye blinks against sleight of hand,and four of walls two by two becomes one.Then I am ensnared by walls of grey wherematterconcrete arms embrace like a betrayed-lover,release like a first-time mother,embrace again like my strait-sleeved jacketthis time holding on to me forever.The grey enfolds meand I enfold the greyuntil it is my greyand I am its greyand in the end my grey matters no more.matterVl ThoughtFilament in the stark bulbnakedswinging overheadgrows hot,legs of its frenzied dancebreak through its thin, glass skull.Fragile cranial pieceslay strewn across the ground,seeds of thought distractedupon wizened, fallow earth.At last synapses rush through the air,like fireflies in a glass jarlit all too briefly.Glassy tendrils loosen their grasp,my bright thought dashedlike night bugsagainst the windscreen.VII LifebloodArterial pipes criss-cross walls and ceiling,a complex freewayof airof waterof life blood.Clinking and clanging,moaning and groaning,swelling and shrinking,finally succombing.Pourous vessels yawning widein fruitless eforts to hold,capillary walls collapse.A clog of embolic proportions.What is left of me gushes forth,a red-black floodshowering the grey walls of the room.matterAnd now my captor is no longerthe drab grey of prison.matterAt last it is the royal red crimsonof death.
Wow. This really captured me. A very powerful internal dialogue – you have crafted the words amazingly :)
Thank you so much Rella!! You have no idea what it means to me to get that first thumbs up. Thanks for recognizing the word craft, this is an integral part of my writing. Peace, Kat
The suffering here is real….. the pain and despair are almost tactile….this is what is meant by a successful piece of writing….thanks for sharing it with us.
I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin when I read your comment!! The comments you made are exactly what I was hoping for…you must have great instincts. Many thanks. Peace, Kat
Thank you for sharing this Kat, very powerful. As I was reading, I was listening to some music by lisa gerrard and the combination of the music and your words almost brought me to tears. beautiful :-)
Thanks for stopping by and reading my piece of writing. Thanks for the comment.
RSartabout 4 years ago
reading this makes me shiver… i can visualize everything… your words take us on a trip, not a pleasent one, but hell life isn’t always rosy.. how trapped you must’ve felt.
thank you for sharing this
I am so glad that this piece has evoked such a visceral reaction…well not glad exactly as I hate when anyone feels even a bit of what I feel, but I guess this is what writing is all about. Thanks also for seeing the trip, that was an important part of the piece.
Comments
Wow. This really captured me. A very powerful internal dialogue – you have crafted the words amazingly :)
Thank you so much Rella!! You have no idea what it means to me to get that first thumbs up. Thanks for recognizing the word craft, this is an integral part of my writing.
Peace,
Kat
– kathibook
The suffering here is real….. the pain and despair are almost tactile….this is what is meant by a successful piece of writing….thanks for sharing it with us.
I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin when I read your comment!! The comments you made are exactly what I was hoping for…you must have great instincts. Many thanks.
Peace,
Kat
Thank you for sharing this Kat, very powerful. As I was reading, I was listening to some music by lisa gerrard and the combination of the music and your words almost brought me to tears. beautiful :-)
That my writing could elicit this level of emotion means more than I can say….many thanks Nadia.
Peace,
Kat
Very powerful words!
Thanks for stopping by and reading my piece of writing. Thanks for the comment.
reading this makes me shiver… i can visualize everything… your words take us on a trip, not a pleasent one, but hell life isn’t always rosy.. how trapped you must’ve felt.
thank you for sharing this
I am so glad that this piece has evoked such a visceral reaction…well not glad exactly as I hate when anyone feels even a bit of what I feel, but I guess this is what writing is all about. Thanks also for seeing the trip, that was an important part of the piece.
– kathibook
Wow! Such sadness and yet you find beauty in it. Very well written!
Thanks for reading Kimberly. Appreciate your vote of confidence and am happy you saw the beauty here!
– kathibook
stunningly captivating – what a way with words you have : )