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dirge

in the salty water I passively bob, gently rocked to sleep
by the rythm of my breathing, a dirge plays in my heart
and sad thoughts are strumming my soul,
I am surrounded by an ocean of my own tears
I learn to paddle through it, but sometimes I can’t go on

in the ribbon of river I sit reverently waiting
I pause my breath and hold on to it tightly til my face turns pale
knowing the hope that held and buoyed me
the hope that was my rescue has all but floated away
I cling to the rocks of abandon, slipping away

in the great ocean of evolution I mind my own message
considering deeply my actions in the passage of time
and how failure after failure has marked my life
I am marking time and fainting,
marking and fainting with waiting

i am lost in the sea that claims the doubters, I am Thomas
a nomad searching for knowledge and life is my garden of plenty
but today is a drought and a flood, a crisis in my heart
where will I go, and who will I turn to
not even I know the answers I used to know

i am lost in the sea of not knowing
travellers and other boats pass me by
they see me, but miss all the signs, my breath grows shallow
and I grow tired, my bones heave a heavy sigh
my eyes fill with tears and add to the rising tide

as the sea swells like a bosom heaving and the moon
tries to charm the men of the sea with tales of mermaidic lore
i lay bewildered on the sand, shipwrecked
I am flotsam and jetsam as I perish and become one with my watery grave

today I find no message of peace to console a weary heart
I know no hope, no refreshing, no wisdom and I have no place in time
no time in space, an aloneness that only the shipwrecks know
has become my companion and all hope has slipped away
on the ebbing tide

i have a pain plunging deeper than six feet under
and sometimes it’s harder to live than to die
my anguish is several hundred fathoms deep
and sometimes that mountain’s just too far to climb
sometimes it’s just too steep, I hear it in the seagull’s cry

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Aloha, thanks for visiting my poem/prose/notes or whatever you call it, today it is a blob or a blur, as I pour out my heart. Some days just aren’t as easy as other days and I find it helps to write at those times, so here is a piece I wrote this morning to let it all out….it’s a bit dark, so if you’re in a good place, I hope it doesn’t bring you down. I find that moods come and go, i am in a particularly dark place right now, but it will pass and ease as the day goes on, as moods are always transient :) For happier stuff, please visit my art portfolio here

Copyright Notice
All rights reserved © Karin Taylor 1965 – 2013*
Contact email karinlouisetaylor@gmail.com*
These images are the exclusive property of myself, Karin Taylor and are protected under the Australian and International Copyright laws. These images must not be reproduced, copied, transmitted or manipulated without the written permission of myself, Karin Taylor.

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Comments

  • Mui-Ling Teh
    Mui-Ling Tehabout 2 years ago

    The first part made me think of Alice in her own tears, and other parts made me think of other tales such as the Odyssey. But most importantly, I feel like today may not be your day.

    Maybe it’s just me; but I do remember your recent journal about how you usually do cheerful art, but doesn’t mean you are necessarily so, but try to make works that are positive. Meanwhile, I’ve know others with anxiety who strive to stay positive, but lately, very recently in fact, I’ve seen some break down. We need to let it out sometimes – that’s my take anyways. In many cases seeing that side that lets go of the positive may not be pretty, but you do it so beautifully and poetically x

  • xo

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Margaret  Shark
    Margaret Sharkabout 2 years ago

    Leave a comment

  • Margaret  Shark
    Margaret Sharkabout 2 years ago

    How sad. After many years on this earth, I find writing one of the most perfect ways of surviving. Someday, I know, I hope, you will look back on this and realize that the dark moments only help the bright ones shine more beautifully.

  • ox

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Adriana Glackin
    Adriana Glackinabout 2 years ago

    Dear Karin, yes this is dark and sad and sombre and heavy, but the mood will lift, dawn will break and the passing boats will stop and offer assistance…Beautifully, beautifully written xx

  • xox

    – © Karin Taylor

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