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Through the Eyes of a Child

THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
Karin Taylor

This story is dedicated to
Parents like us and our
Dear friends, who grieve
The loss of precious
Little ones

An amber glow floods my window on the world, and I listen closely for familiar sounds, sounds that comfort me. Enjoying my new-found freedom, I bounce to and fro against the domed enclosure of my youth. Legs and arms stretching and exploring, lolling about in my own version of a saltwater pool.

Sunbathing is perfect, the Spring has brought with it soft breezes, blowing gently, buffeting me to sleep. The sun’s great rays transform to a mellow peachy light and warm me as they filter through, caressing my body, welcoming me, all is well. I am growing larger, stronger and wiser every day.

My name will be David, which means ‘loved by God’ and King David of the bible would be my namesake. Mum and Dad have chosen ‘Isabel’ if I turn out to be a girl. So already I know my name is David, and as my name suggests, I am dearly loved by God. This I know, as He calms the waters of my mother’s womb and speaks to me in a heart language, of His unfailing love. Even now, I know I have been beautifully designed, formed in the image of One far greater, and I sense extraordinary purpose in my creation. I am becoming aware of things both spiritual and physical.

I feel so close to Mum and Dad, bonding with them from day one. Dad’s a big fellow with a gentle heart, and a sensitive spirit and great big hands. They follow the curves of Mum’s bulging form and oh, how I thrill, as those loving vibrations I sense. His hands becoming extensions of his heart. My tiny body tingles with pleasure and the waters around me ripple and gurgle in delight.
His voice is deep and rich and mellow. When he speaks to me my heart races and I receive his fatherly affections readily, eagerly, hungrily. I want to be just like him.

And Mum, well, I know she is as lovely as a princess, Dad says so all the time. Her voice is sweet and calm and her movements graceful, the very elements of beauty belong to her. From the beginning, I became aware of the love emanating from her soul to mine. Constantly a part of her, and her daily activities, I silently witnessed her preparations for my arrival. Quiet moments as a hand-sewn garment received it’s final loving touches; the clickety-clack of knitting needles rythmically sending me to sleep; and the sound of the brush on the wall adding last minute touches as she painted little ducks to decorate my nursery. I recall tearful moments, as hormones spun her emotions this way and that. I knew she longed to hold me in her arms.

Today I remembered the story Mum had read the night before. It was all about Jesus blessing the little children and welcoming them. From the first moment I heard about Jesus I loved Him, and was eager to meet Him. I thought how special it would be to receive a blessing from Him like those children in the bible. So far, I have known nothing but love, grace and favour, and I am thankful.

I was so sad then, when God decided I must come home now, before I had even seen Mum and Dad. My sorrow was more for them than for me, I knew I would be alright. I also knew how patiently they had waited for my coming and how much they loved me and longed to share their lives with me. I hated to leave them, without warning or explanation. Oh, the pain they would suffer and the questions they would ask. I did not have the answers. The tears they would shed tore at my heart, their grief would be unspeakable. So I prayed that God in heaven would comfort them in all their sadness and that He would send His Son to gather them up in His arms and carry them through the valley.

My little heart stopped beating today and my spirit soared on the wings of angels, to a place God calls heaven, a place not so far from earth really, separated only by death. The angels’ song was like waterfalls of silver bells. The angels presented me pure and chaste to a lovely snowy Lamb, He was sitting upon the Throne between the cherubim. The Lamb had suffered too, and yet remained so gentle, calm and beautiful. I am captivated by His loving face. He comforts me. I am in the arms of Jesus, receiving His blessing, his love, all is well.

*Dear Mum and Dad,
I so wish that I could tell you that I know you already. That I have felt your love deeply in my heart. That your interaction with me at every stage, meant everything to me. Your love filtered through to me and delighted my soul. I never felt alone or frightened. Your pulse and the beating of your heart comforted me. You were my dearest companions and I responded to your every word, your every touch. While I was with you, I learned so much. You formed my character, though you do not know it. You introduced me to Jesus and you taught me all about love. Please Mummy and Daddy, do not try to forget me now, remember your love for me, as it will help your hearts to heal. Even though we are separated for a little while, I am living still in heaven, and I can never forget you, I love you. Heaven is a lovely place and I am happy and peaceful here. I will see you all soon, I am looking forward to meeting my other brothers and sisters too, when you all come home to stay. Then we will have a wonderful time and we will all have our questions answered, our hearts mended. All our tears will be wiped away and we will sorrow no more. Together we will live with God in heaven forever and ever.

When you think about what might have been, please talk with me, and remember there is a future for us. I miss you. I love you.
David*

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I wrote this some time ago, to help me accept the loss of one of our babies through miscarriage, i hope that others may find comfort in it perhaps…

A few years ago my parents shared this story with Father Jim Griffin a local Parish Priest, and he felt it would be a good story to read out on his late night Radio Programme through 2MW it sounded so beautiful and moving being read out aloud by a man.

Copyright Notice
All rights reserved © Karin Taylor 1965 – 2013*
Contact email karinlouisetaylor@gmail.com*
These images are the exclusive property of myself, Karin Taylor and are protected under the Australian and International Copyright laws. These images must not be reproduced, copied, transmitted or manipulated without the written permission of myself, Karin Taylor.

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Comments

  • pinkyjain
    pinkyjainover 6 years ago

    Wow, wow wow. This is so beautiful, so heartbreaking, so beautiful, leaves me nearly speechless (or typless?). i am so sorry for your & your husband’s loss Karin, but your writing about this is so touching, so sweet, & so understanding, too. God has His reasons, He knows so so much more than we do

  • Hi Pinky, thank you so much for your lovely comment on this….
    we lost 2 babies, but I found that writing about it helped me to grieve and get all the sadness out… I like to think we will meet again one day, but if I dwell too long, I begin sobbing again…as if it were yesterday…i don’t think the sadness ever leaves…

    – © Karin Taylor

  • PixelProtest
    PixelProtestover 6 years ago

    i don’t know what to say, i love the meaning of david.
    everything happens for a reason. your son is in a good place and loved. God Bless.
    everything in life is transient by nature, and time by which we are bound is indicative of this, and time is also what heals us. i don’t know if the pain will ever go for both you and your husband. be strong and keep faith in God.

  • thank you, i couldn’t agree with you more, there is a season for everything, and time to cry and a time to heal, thank you PP xoxo LKT

    – © Karin Taylor

  • gillsart
    gillsartover 6 years ago

    Karin , that is really lovely writing .I dont know your beliefs but I miscarriaged and knew in my heart it was the little girl I would never raise … A clairvoyant said that they could see a little girl in spirit around me and that she would come back to me as a grandchild . I was rather taken aback and cynical . However 5 years ago my grandaighter as born .She is the mirror image of my son and the connection is so strong that her mum will ring to say she would like to spend a night with me when I am thinking of her…I now have the best of both worlds the unconditional love of her and the instant recognition that we belong together but I have the freedom to give her back to her chosen family here on earth ..Thank you to my higher power i couldnt have planned it more perfectly !!…Light and love Gillian

  • Oh Gillian, what a beautiful beautiful story …. I loved reading it so much, it fills me with hope and joy, how lovely for you…how healing….how perfect….
    thank you for reading my story, and for sharing yours with me :D LKT

    – © Karin Taylor

  • kazcook1972
    kazcook1972over 6 years ago

    Very, very touching and emotional Karin. Much kudos to you for baring your soul to all your friends on the bubble ~ I’m sure it’s been so very therapeutic for you. I can’t contemplate what it must feel like to have been through what you have, but can only extend BIG HUGS and thank you for trusting us all enough to share your story. It’s so beautifully written. Love Karen x

  • aw, thank you Karen, it’s so kind of you to read this, and offer your condolences…it was a long time ago this happened….my kids now
    11 and 15…..but still, it’s sad (L Kaz) xo

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Cate Townsend
    Cate Townsendover 6 years ago

    My eyes are stinging from the tears, so many. You are so beautiful Karin and your words touch my soul. I cry for you and your husband’s loss. Who knows why we suffer such heartache while we are here, that you have turned your loss into such a positive is awesome. Once when I was having some gesalt therapy I think that’s what is called when you go into the layers, I had a vision of me being supported by two angels, resting my arms on there wings while they glided up and over the country side it was an amazing experience. God loves children so very much and I am sure your babies are being well looked after.

  • thank you Cate, of that I too am sure :D
    what a beautiful image of the angels,
    so very moving and comforting L Karin xo

    – © Karin Taylor

  • gypsycaster
    gypsycasterover 6 years ago
    can’t think of what to say.

    You are loved hon.

  • thanx gc, i just appreciate you reading it, that was really sweet of you,
    no words necessary :D

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Lam Tran
    Lam Tranover 6 years ago

    Excellent writing my friend! A great story and great meaning, well done my friend!

  • thank you so much Lam, especially for taking time to read!!

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Mui-Ling Teh
    Mui-Ling Tehover 6 years ago

    Reminds me of City of Angels. The people around the deceased person are always the ones crying while the one that is dying is comforted by angels. Sometimes, or maybe often, death is more painful for the ones close to the ones who died then for the dying person themselves.

  • This is a very good observation you’ve made Mui-Ling….. thank you so much for reading and taking time to ponder things…i love that, thanx so much :D

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Anna Bartlett
    Anna Bartlettover 6 years ago

    Hi Karin, I opened this piece of writing up on a whim, and once again I’m struck by the coincidence of ‘meeting’ someone with a similar story to my own. My little girl, Caitlin, was born still on 25 November 2000, and while the grief was immense, I now smile at her memory. Thank you for putting your thoughts into words and with your permission, would I be able to reprint them in the SANDS Queensland (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support (including miscarriage) group) newsletter which is a terrific organisation that I am a keen supporter of? Thanks again for sharing your story.

  • Hi Anna,

    I am just so so sorry to hear about Caitlin, your dear little girl…..

    Thank you for reading my story, and of course, please feel free to reprint it for SANDS Queensland. You also have permission to share this with anyone else who you feel may benefit.

    A few years ago my parents shared this story with Father Jim Griffin a local Parish Priest, and he felt it would be a good story to read out on his late night Radio Programme through 2MW it sounded so beautiful and moving being read out aloud by a man.

    I hope you and others who have lost dear little ones, may somehow find less loneliness and more comfort through reading my story.

    Love Karin xo

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Brandylyn Beuchert
    Brandylyn Beuc...over 6 years ago

    Thank you soo much for writing this and these comforting words. We just lost our little 15 month old unexpectedly in her sleep a couple of months ago. It is suspected it was viral meningitis. I cried, happy, comforting cries, when I read this.

  • ….oh Brandylyn, what can I say, my words just aren’t adequate to express the sadness I feel at hearing how you lost your little girl not long ago…..

    ….thank you for being brave enough to read these words, it must have been very hard for you to do that.

    ….I am glad that my perspective touched your heart in a special way, and you were comforted….that is truly wonderful to hear…..you will meet her again, this i know …..

    I am just so so sorry Bradylyn, with much love and hugs – Karin xoxo xoxo xoxo

    – © Karin Taylor

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