THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
This story is dedicated to
Parents like us and our
Dear friends, who grieve
The loss of precious
An amber glow floods my window on the world, and I listen closely for familiar sounds, sounds that comfort me. Enjoying my new-found freedom, I bounce to and fro against the domed enclosure of my youth. Legs and arms stretching and exploring, lolling about in my own version of a saltwater pool.
Sunbathing is perfect, the Spring has brought with it soft breezes, blowing gently, buffeting me to sleep. The sun’s great rays transform to a mellow peachy light and warm me as they filter through, caressing my body, welcoming me, all is well. I am growing larger, stronger and wiser every day.
My name will be David, which means ‘loved by God’ and King David of the bible would be my namesake. Mum and Dad have chosen ‘Isabel’ if I turn out to be a girl. So already I know my name is David, and as my name suggests, I am dearly loved by God. This I know, as He calms the waters of my mother’s womb and speaks to me in a heart language, of His unfailing love. Even now, I know I have been beautifully designed, formed in the image of One far greater, and I sense extraordinary purpose in my creation. I am becoming aware of things both spiritual and physical.
I feel so close to Mum and Dad, bonding with them from day one. Dad’s a big fellow with a gentle heart, and a sensitive spirit and great big hands. They follow the curves of Mum’s bulging form and oh, how I thrill, as those loving vibrations I sense. His hands becoming extensions of his heart. My tiny body tingles with pleasure and the waters around me ripple and gurgle in delight.
His voice is deep and rich and mellow. When he speaks to me my heart races and I receive his fatherly affections readily, eagerly, hungrily. I want to be just like him.
And Mum, well, I know she is as lovely as a princess, Dad says so all the time. Her voice is sweet and calm and her movements graceful, the very elements of beauty belong to her. From the beginning, I became aware of the love emanating from her soul to mine. Constantly a part of her, and her daily activities, I silently witnessed her preparations for my arrival. Quiet moments as a hand-sewn garment received it’s final loving touches; the clickety-clack of knitting needles rythmically sending me to sleep; and the sound of the brush on the wall adding last minute touches as she painted little ducks to decorate my nursery. I recall tearful moments, as hormones spun her emotions this way and that. I knew she longed to hold me in her arms.
Today I remembered the story Mum had read the night before. It was all about Jesus blessing the little children and welcoming them. From the first moment I heard about Jesus I loved Him, and was eager to meet Him. I thought how special it would be to receive a blessing from Him like those children in the bible. So far, I have known nothing but love, grace and favour, and I am thankful.
I was so sad then, when God decided I must come home now, before I had even seen Mum and Dad. My sorrow was more for them than for me, I knew I would be alright. I also knew how patiently they had waited for my coming and how much they loved me and longed to share their lives with me. I hated to leave them, without warning or explanation. Oh, the pain they would suffer and the questions they would ask. I did not have the answers. The tears they would shed tore at my heart, their grief would be unspeakable. So I prayed that God in heaven would comfort them in all their sadness and that He would send His Son to gather them up in His arms and carry them through the valley.
My little heart stopped beating today and my spirit soared on the wings of angels, to a place God calls heaven, a place not so far from earth really, separated only by death. The angels’ song was like waterfalls of silver bells. The angels presented me pure and chaste to a lovely snowy Lamb, He was sitting upon the Throne between the cherubim. The Lamb had suffered too, and yet remained so gentle, calm and beautiful. I am captivated by His loving face. He comforts me. I am in the arms of Jesus, receiving His blessing, his love, all is well.
*Dear Mum and Dad,
I so wish that I could tell you that I know you already. That I have felt your love deeply in my heart. That your interaction with me at every stage, meant everything to me. Your love filtered through to me and delighted my soul. I never felt alone or frightened. Your pulse and the beating of your heart comforted me. You were my dearest companions and I responded to your every word, your every touch. While I was with you, I learned so much. You formed my character, though you do not know it. You introduced me to Jesus and you taught me all about love. Please Mummy and Daddy, do not try to forget me now, remember your love for me, as it will help your hearts to heal. Even though we are separated for a little while, I am living still in heaven, and I can never forget you, I love you. Heaven is a lovely place and I am happy and peaceful here. I will see you all soon, I am looking forward to meeting my other brothers and sisters too, when you all come home to stay. Then we will have a wonderful time and we will all have our questions answered, our hearts mended. All our tears will be wiped away and we will sorrow no more. Together we will live with God in heaven forever and ever.
When you think about what might have been, please talk with me, and remember there is a future for us. I miss you. I love you.
I wrote this some time ago, to help me accept the loss of one of our babies through miscarriage, i hope that others may find comfort in it perhaps…
A few years ago my parents shared this story with Father Jim Griffin a local Parish Priest, and he felt it would be a good story to read out on his late night Radio Programme through 2MW it sounded so beautiful and moving being read out aloud by a man.