Introducing leggings. You’ll never run out of inspiration.

My Broken Spirit Limps

My Broken Spirit Limps
An elegy or lament by Karin Taylor after the loss of Basil (my beautiful cat)
18 March 2014

My broken spirit limps forward
I am like a soldier who has lost the battle
With each explosion rendering me deafer
I crave the darkness where I will sleep

I hope the vaccuum of gloom is near
I will surrender to it
Let the light of day wait its’ turn
It has a duty to perform only to those living

I am silent in my grave of slumber
No more do I speak with intent or passion
I am clothed in hessian and speak only
if spoken to, there is no desire left in my heart

I have closed myself to any possibility
of being persuaded otherwise
I am like the vodka, still and transparent
and this is the distillation process

Why does pain remove my impurities as nothing else can
Why must I sorrow for days on end, in rituals unending
Why do my eyes court tears, as if bound
in a recycled tragedy orbiting in never-ending nothingness

It is as if space and time co-exist
only to impart an echo
that hollow repetition that traces the outline
of sorrowful thoughts deeply etched in solitude

More nothingness, fills the voids of nothing,
nothing plus nothing equals nothing at all
My laughter has run away from home
My smile has found safe harbour elsewhere

In the mirror I reflect on my pale tense freckled face
I notice the plainness of myself
Heavily bagged under-eyes
I am bereft, waves of grief wash over me

I miss my boy, his sweet face, his warm cuddles
All through every day, I notice he is not there,
where once he was, there is no sign of him, no trace
of his little face. I pace, pace, and pace.

It does not bring him back, I cannot go to him.
I can only wait for the day I will go where he has gone.
Will he thank me, will he love me
or will he run from me in fear.

I will not know until I get there, to wherever he has gone.
I will not be able to tell you what happens, even if I know,
you will not. I can hope all I like for what I want, but there is no indication, that my hopes will materialise and become reality.

I am lost…lost on a sea of endless uneasiness
The ropes are tattered and the sails are rent
The sea is my abyss today, not my muse, not my love, nor do I care
When something you love leaves, grief is underscored.

Currently unavailable for purchase



My beloved Basil (our family pet) passed from this world to the next a couple of days ago, he had terminal cancer. I am so sad and miss his lovely presence.

Copyright Notice
All rights reserved © Karin Taylor 1965 – 2013*
Contact email karinlouisetaylor@gmail.com*
These images are the exclusive property of myself, Karin Taylor and are protected under the Australian and International Copyright laws. These images must not be reproduced, copied, transmitted or manipulated without the written permission of myself, Karin Taylor.

View Full Profile

Comments

  • JRGarland
    JRGarland12 months ago

    I am so sorry for your grief my friend. It is never easy to endure such a loss as with the death of one you love so dearly. I applaud your ability to enrich the world with your writing. It couldn’t have been said more elogently.

  • ah thanks so much John, it’s been such a sad time for our family, much appreciate your lovely response :) x

    – © Karin Taylor

  • walstraasart
    walstraasart12 months ago

    I am sorry for the loss of your wonderful furry friend. I know how it feels. I have also some very special cats and I can not imagine to lose them. You wrote a beautiful poem and I am sure he had a wonderful life with you.

  • Thank you so much Thea, I’m sorry that you know how I feel, it’s so hard isn’t it xx

    – © Karin Taylor

  • salsbells69
    salsbells6912 months ago

    Writing about your loss and grief is so therapeutic Karin. I hope you have felt some strength come back to you after putting this all in words. I cannot imagine what you are going though but my empathy for your loss is so palpable. Grief is a VERY personal thing. Only you know what is the best way for you to deal with your loss. It took me a long time to write about the loss of my mum but when i did, i felt so so much better…i shared it..thats what made the difference and thats what you’ve done. Big hugs lovely lady. Your boy is smiling down at you.

  • Thank you so much dear Sal, for your kind thoughts, it really meant a lot to me, to think that my boy is smiling down at me. I can just imagine that might be true. xox

    – © Karin Taylor

  • F.A. Moore
    F.A. Moore12 months ago

    My heart goes out to your heavy one, Karin. It’s a terrible loss accompanied by the space that was his, so empty now, so void and quiet. I know this pain, and am so sorry you are experiencing it now. Your poem is a beautiful testament for your love of your kitty and his place in the family.

  • Thanks so much Frannie, yes, so empty now….we miss him so, our dear little fluffball, I most of all miss his presence and being able to have morning cuddles and nuzzles, I loved to bury my face in his fur, it always smelt so wonderful and felt so comforting. I wish he was still with us, but he was so unwell, I had to do the kindest thing, so heartbreaking. xxx

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Ellanita
    Ellanita12 months ago

    Dear Karin…I feel with you…losing a sweet companion fills our heart with sorrow…your writing is so deep and full of feelings…sending you love and a gentle hug my friend…x

  • Thank you so much dear Ellanita, yes, it really does ….that little furry sweetheart made his way right to the centre of our hearts and family life, he was always here, being a wonderful character, he had his own special voice and made it known what he wanted, and we were at his beck and call, lol……we miss him so. It’s left a big hole in our hearts, having to say goodbye, I will never stop missing him. No other animal can replace Basil, he was so unique and made such an impact on us all. xx

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Aimee Stewart
    Aimee Stewart12 months ago

    So very sorry about your loss, Karin. Such beloved souls that grace our lives, and forever fill our memories.

  • aw Aimee, thank you so much sweetie, big hugs for you…..yes, forever they fill our memories, perhaps this is how the holes in our hearts heals eventually….much love xox

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Tony Wilder
    Tony Wilder12 months ago

    Karin, from such pain comes such beauty from your grieving spirit. No amount of words can allay your pain nor describe the weeping of soul in this write. I’m so sorry for your loss my friend.

  • Dear Tony, thank you so much, yes it’s true, no amount of words………big hugs for you, thank you for caring and sending me your comfort xox

    – © Karin Taylor

  • Betty Smith_Voce
    Betty Smith_Voce12 months ago

    Cat lovers across the world mourn with you as we all know the magnificent companionship that they bring! I hope your heart will heal soon so that a new little bundle can find a way into your heart.
    Beautiful write.

  • Betty, thank you so much for your lovely thoughts, yes, I think magnificent companionship, are just the right words to describe it. Each day is a little lighter to bear, a little less painful, and I look to nature as the salve to help relieve some of the sadness, I feel and see Basil in the other creatures I encounter each day, as though they each carry a portion of his dear little spirit and person with them, seeing them feels like a small consolation for the deep loss, and it helps a little. Big hugs n thank you so much xx

    – © Karin Taylor

  • AngieDavies
    AngieDavies12 months ago

    What a heart rending write! So sorry for your grief. Hope it will soon pass for you. You do express the depth of this emotion so well.

  • hugs, thanks Angie, it’s been so hard to let go…xox

    – © Karin Taylor

  • ldredge
    ldredge12 months ago

    This is a beautiful poem. I lost my cat, Casey, a year and a half ago. I had him for seventeen years and even though I knew losing him would be hard, I was unprepared for how difficult an experience it was. In life I am sure that Basil forgave you all things. He forgives you, too, for the decision that you had to make. It came from love and not wanting him to suffer. I am sorry for your loss and I can empathize with your pain. Lorraine

  • Thank you so much, I’m so sorry for your loss of Casey, that must have been so hard after 17 wonderful years, I think that I too was just so unprepared and had no idea it would hit me so hard, thank you for your lovely reassuring words xx

    – © Karin Taylor

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10%off for joining

the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.