Lets play pretend, just you and me,
Lets hide all this pain so that no-one can see,
Lets pretend that I’m perfect, happy, so alive,
Lets pretend you can’t hear me cry.
You ask if I’m ok and I’ll say yes,
Ask about home and I’ll say, the best.
You know, I’ll never admit that I feel alone,
Living in Hell that I once called home.
You point at that bruise and I’ll say I fell,
You try to pry and I’ll never tell.
How can I even say it all?
If I show weakness, I know I’ll fall.
Better play it strong, play the game,
Just pretend it’s all the same.
Yeah, that’s better, now go out and flirt,
Put on the make-up, pull on the skirt,
Pretend I’m okay, that I know I’m hot,
Flaunt all the features that I haven’t got.
And the guys point me out ‘oh yeah, she’s a babe’
But can’t they tell that I’m just a shade,
To the misery slowly building inside,
To the dark deep depression that I’m forced to hide.
In a tight little corset, oh what a sight!
I’m sexy, so gorgeous; hah! Yeah right!
The mirror whispers, its all lies,
Look at that nose, those crooked eyes,
And that body, dear God, what a wreck,
Gotta keep that damn food in check.
Don’t eat, it urges, go starve,
Just don’t take it too far.
Confused, insecure, hurt too many times,
But that can be hidden with make-up and lies.
Cos I can’t let them see through my eyes,
Can’t let them know who I am inside.
Never again will I open up to another guy,
And let them see the suffering inside.
They saw and ran, leaving nothing but the tears and the pain,
And that’s when I swore, never again.
Why bother? It’s easy to see-
Gotta hurt them before they hurt me.
I pretend I don’t care, but you know I do,
But I’ll never admit it and neither will you.
Well, what else can I say?
And before you ask, I’m not okay.
Cos sometimes it seems the hurt will never end,
So lets just stop and play pretend.
a poem about insecurity, confusion, despair…