I Found Him There
The warmth I felt on my cheek was like an infusion of life that just seeped into me like osmosis. It almost took the pain away, I say almost, the moment he took his hand away the pain shot through me again like electricity. The dull thump that was my blood pushing through the veins in my head that were too small for the operation, kept me from thinking about anything but that thump. Later I would realize that it was keeping me from realizing I couldn’t remember my name.
This beautiful man that had stumbled into my own private hell, seemed somehow to belong there, almost as if I have gone through this torment just to meet him, he was my reward, my compensation. This stranger stayed kneeling beside me, no doubt debating whether or not it would be wise to move me. To be honest, I didn’t know whether or not I should move. I started by moving my extremities just slightly to ascertain if anything was broken. After moving everything I could think of, it occurred to me how ridicules it was to be in so much pain and not have anything broken.
With little help, I managed to crawl into a sitting position. At that moment, modesty was not only out of the question, but not really thought of. The stranger draped a wooly winter coat around my naked body and helped me to my feet. After my legs gave out the second time, he picked me up, like a husband does a wife on their wedding day, to cross the threshold. He carried me along that beach. That beach that had never looked so desolate, so dark, so, dangerous.
Their voices are slurred, angry, yet grotesquely aroused. There are so many of them, they are all around me. They kick, and hold, and rape. All at once like a spider with so many arms, all working at the same time. I feel the hot poker as one of the spider’s legs enters me, sure it will tear me in two, struggling only makes it burn more, tear more, I lie still, and wait. I feel relieved when the poker is removed, only to feel the weight of fear and anticipation when I realize it’s someone else’s turn. As the second hot poker pushes into me like a knife, I scream……
It takes a few seconds to realize that it’s not one of the spider’s legs holding me, but the beautiful stranger. I see such sorrow and pity in his green eyes that they almost seem blue. His sweet smile says so much, glad your ok, nice to see you, you were having a nightmare. When I don’t speak his smile wavers, It seems I can read his mind, he thinks he has stepped over a line by holding me this way. I return my sight back to his eyes as I say ‘thank you’ and smile for the first time in I don’t know how long.
His name is Benjamin, Ben James. We spent the afternoon going over what we knew, and specifically what I didn’t know, which is pretty much everything. I have flashbacks in my sleep, but nothing worth telling the police, they’ve been here to ask me questions, but Ben did most of the answering for me. He stayed with me until the nurse kicked him out, he’ll be back tomorrow he said. Is it possible to miss someone you don’t know?
To be continued