Sometime during 2006 I found myself going through one of the most excruciating, embarrassing and nerdy processes that plagues teenagers. I had my braces applied. The problem? I was 27. A long journey explains why I was having train tracks applied at this stage of my life, full of helpful comments from friends, relatives and dentists; ‘Have you considered getting your teeth fixed?’, ‘You’ll never regret it’, ‘Why not, lots of older people are doing it’.

So there I was sitting in my Orthodontist’s trendy communal surgery, with a 14 year old boy on one side, and a 12 year old girl on the other. They seemed to handle the situation better than me. Which is surprising, since the only thing I could think of worse than getting braces at 27 was getting them during puberty. The downsides of having braces as an adult? Not too many people are in the same boat as you, and since you have your own full-time job, your parents will no longer pay for them. Oh and did I mention the price of braces has doubled since you were in puberty? Great.

Funnily, enough, as I enter my 15th month with my trendy clear and silver metal work, I actually know 3 other Generation Xers who sport a mouth full of grills. We have supportive chats comparing the hardships and maintenance we face. As a person who works in an industry where you talk a lot, it is not very reassuring that braces lead to excessive spitting and having lots of food stuck in your teeth. Very professional.

On the upside is that my love life has not suffered. Along with my other ‘braced’ friends, we lamented that no man would find us attractive now, even for an uncommitted, late night pash at the pub. Now I am not exactly fighting them off with a stick, but many guys have seem unaffected by the state of my mouth, some even using it as an excuse to relive their puberty years, or seductively state ‘I’ve never kissed a girl with braces’. Hey, whatever turns you on.

Fate would have it that the last year of my life, with braces in tow, I have been bridesmaid twice, and travelled the world for 7 months. Somehow my life plan went; ‘Hey you look silly! Let’s get as many people as possible to see you!’ However, life cannot be spent hibernating due to some teeth jewellery. I know I am counting down the days till they are removed. And then? Who knows? Modelling, public speaking, speed dating, singing careers, all I know is my (very expensive) teeth will be straight!

I am really looking forward to that. Oh, what’s that Mr Orthodontist? It’s not over then? I have to wear a PLATE! Hibernation here I come!