Sweet Bramble Pie
Sweet Bramble Pie belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, Masterpieces: Literary Workshop, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales, Up & Coming Writers, WMG and Writers EdgePerched at the top of his ladder, Bill whistled contentedly as he dipped his brush into the paint pot. After years of indecisive promises to paint their bungalow, he had finally decided to do it.
Delores had chosen a buttermilk yellow for the flaking clapboards, laughing at Bill when he teasingly told her he wanted to paint it a deep purple. “Over my dead body!” she had winked, patting Bill on his aging rump.
Bill settled into the rhythm of the brush strokes; long, slow and even. He had been smitten the first time he had spotted Delores at a local dance forty five years ago. She had made the first move. He couldn’t believe that she’d chosen him out of all the others. But she had. In fact, he mused, she had also chosen the wedding date, the honeymoon destination, this house and all the furnishings. All these years later, she still lay out his clothes for him every morning.
Bill stepped down a couple of rungs, blushing as he remembered their first night here. Delores had found a big bramble bush at the bottom of their garden and had baked a juicy berry pie for dessert that night.
After dinner, sticky and with purple stained lips, they had devoured each other on the kitchen floor amongst the packing cases. For hours they had lain there, covered by the checkered tablecloth, as Delores, in her own inimitable way, mapped out their future for them. They never had got the berry stains out of that tablecloth.
Stepping off the bottom rung of the ladder, head full of memories, Bill looked up at his finished handiwork.
“Nice colour Bill! Did the missus choose it?”
Bill smiled and waved back at his neighbour as he walked back into the house. Watching the vivid bramble berry coloured paint stream from his brush under the running tap, Bill pondered his next decision – where to bury Delores.
© Jeannette Sheehy 2009
JRGarland
Wonderful story with such a sad, unexpected ending. Very well written.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thank you so much JR – I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Glad that you enjoyed it. :)
iAN Derrick
Ha!...Right under the corn flowers, which is next to the re-seeded poppy bed…Wonderful wee tale Jeannette….Pin that up in your dentist’s waiting room…..Give the poor suffering souls a great smile upon the toothy dial.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
haha iAN…I might just do that! Glad it made you smile :)
ArcadiaTempest
Ahhh poignant and this really takes the reader in Bill’s life and then the sad but really unexpected line that she was now his dead wife…sad twist in deed. A really elegant write…so very well done :)
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Thank you Arcadia…. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. A woman should let the man make decisions every now and then, and let him think he’s the boss or you never know what might happen! ;)
Zolton
Loooove it! ha ha. Jeannette…. it’s great!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
cheers Zolton…you never know what goes through the minds of meek old men! ;)
Matt Penfold
Jeeze Louise!, you set us up with some lovely enduring romance then turned Bill into a psychopath. A wild and unexpected twist Jeannette, well done
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Did the twist come out of left field for you?..I had set some hints up..the quibble over the paint colour, the way Delores made all the decisions in life..I thought perhaps I had made it too obvious, so I’m glad you didn’t expect the twist. :) Cheers! :)
Solar Zorra
Ya know, if a man is sooo namby pamby that his wife still picks his clothes out after forty years, my God….what’s he gonna do now? in his god-awful purple bungelow. He’ll probably never be able to decide where to bury her, should of asked her before he killed her, Ha! Good Story Jeannette, got me all spun up. :) SZ
Jeannette Sheehy replied
“He’ll probably never be able to decide where to bury her, should of asked her before he killed her” ha! you’re right…
We have this purpley grey house in our street with pink shutters..it’s HORRIBLE…and my hubby has just painted our house a lovely buttermilk yellow (my choice :) ) but luckily he likes it and hates purple..lol. Glad you liked it SZ!! :)
Mark Bateman
And Jeannette pulls it out of the bag! A great story, warm, full of rosy romantic overtures, only for the record to have that ZZwwwaapapap sound at the end! I think these are the best types of twists, where it’s the final couple of words which put the boot in!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
I like that you heard a ZZwwwaapapap noise at the end. Thanks so much Markus! :)
Alison Pearce
Great write!!!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
cheers Alison :)
anya
I enjoyed this Jeannette. I can almost imagine him whistling away quite contentedly. Nice and nasty in one breath.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Anya – sometimes the worm turns.. :)