Door Ajar
For Star Twister 49 – Door Ajar
345 Words
Door Ajar belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales, WMG and Writers Edge“So, there’s this door, and..”
“Another one of your attempts at a joke Claire?”
Tony propped up the bar and signaled to the bored barfly for another ice-cold, tasteless fizzy drink that passed for beer.
My face burned at yet another put-down by him. Toxic-Tony I called him. Don’t ask me why I put up with him. I never felt good after being with him. The zingers he flung at me on a regular basis cut, tore and ground like broken grass into my fragility. Another door slammed shut inside me.
____________
Did I feel unworthy of approval?
Was I loved as a kid?
Did I sabotage myself in the friends I chose?
All these questions and more spun round my brain as I faced my shrink once a week.
Tony called them my “weekly fruit loop sessions.”
And yet…and yet, in the furthest recesses of me lurked this tiny flame. A small opening in an unlikely place. A nano-blink of hope, if you will. A door, an abandoned door, slightly ajar, a glimpse of something beyond.
I knew better of course, than to open it further – what if there was nothing on the other side? What if it was just an infinite desert out there? What if the door broke free under my hand and I couldn’t get back to that black hole inside me that longed for comfort and yet was comfort itself? My fault. I had abandoned that door years ago and now I feared it and longed for it all at once.
____________
“Claire? Claire?”
I focussed on Tony, who couldn’t focus on me as he slid to the floor. He tried, believe me. That was a new experience for me. Normally, he couldn’t even be bothered to look at me or even the space I occupied. That’s why it was so easy in the end.
“Drunk”, I said to no-one in particular.
I gently slipped the liquid dropper into my pocket, walked to the door and didn’t look back.
© Jeannette Sheehy 2009
Micky McGuinness
Well that certainly was zinger of a tale!
You should really have a go at Twisted Tournoi 03 as well!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Micky – I’ve been having a look at the Twisted Tournoi. I don’t know where I will find the time, but I think I may have a go! Hope you’re doing well :)
Damian
Excellent, really enjoyed the style.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks so much Damian – I’ve been away from RB for a wee while and haven’t written at all since December, so it was good to be able to sit down and write again. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
JakcTheRipper
Great job, this is very Karmatic? is that a word… anyway it was good =]
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Cheers Colin – and if Karmatic is not a word, it should be! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. :)
Mark Bateman
Hey good write Jeannette – glad I caught it on one of those rare occasions I check RB. There’s real scope to expand this story too!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Mark! When are you going to get back to writing, and photography in between running and gym-ming and pond-ing etc? Glad you got a chance to check in with RB. Glad you liked it. :)
Jim Hall
Nice one! I see that you’ll be serious competition also! And after all, isn’t that what we want? Great twist, too! JH
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thank you very much Jim – really appreciate it. Love the Star Twister challenges…even though I haven’t written anything for a few months now, I still come by to read the excellent entries every week. :)
Alison Pearce
Excellent story!!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks so much Alison – and thank you for the fav :)
Solar Zorra
Ooooo, that was the kind of twist I like, snuff out the jerk and blame it on the bad beer. Good one!! :) SZ
Jeannette Sheehy replied
“snuff out the jerk and blame it on the bad beer” ! lol…thanks SZ – glad you enjoyed it. Anyone who drinks ice cold fizzy watered down beer deserves to be snuffed really. ;)
ArcadiaTempest
Ahhh loved it…..great twist…fabulous story…..wonderful writing….hmmm can you tell I was really entertained? :>D
Jeannette Sheehy replied
why thank you very much Arcadia, glad you liked it! :) :)
lightsmith
‘Another door slammed shut inside me’ – classic.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks LIghtsmith – the prompt made for good reading this week, don’t you think? I still have moving stones on the brain! :)
Zolton
Congrats on the win from the hosts of Twisted Tales!!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
really??? oh my gosh – thank you! :)
Jim Hall
Heartfelt congrats on your win. But if I couldn’t take first place, then I’m glad you did! JH
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Thank you so much Jim, for your kind words and your encouragement. :)
ArcadiaTempest
Congrats….XX
Jeannette Sheehy replied
cheers Arcadia :) Looking forward to your entry this week!
Jim Hall
Congrats twice for your feature. nicely done. JH
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks so much Jim – much appreciated :)
Matt Penfold
Ha, good one Jeannette nasty twist indeed, nothing like a bit of help from Mickey Finn (I can see why Solar likes it so much, she’s a sucker for a bloke getting humiliated ;-)
Jeannette Sheehy replied
lol Matt – thanks for the comment. Mickey Finn’s a good ‘un – he comes in handy from time to time. ;o)
LadyOtilia
I say you should fling that door open. Hey, you’re a gifted writer, you create atmosphere and you stir feelings up.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Lady – I only just saw your comment today – thank you so much for the lovely compliment. I’m so glad you enjoyed this. :)
Kanaka
You appear dangerous to be around. You would not do that to your Dad would you? Good story. XXXXXXXXx
Jeannette Sheehy replied
lol Dad – of course not…..mwahahaha