Door Ajar

“So, there’s this door, and..”

“Another one of your attempts at a joke Claire?”

Tony propped up the bar and signaled to the bored barfly for another ice-cold, tasteless fizzy drink that passed for beer.

My face burned at yet another put-down by him. Toxic-Tony I called him. Don’t ask me why I put up with him. I never felt good after being with him. The zingers he flung at me on a regular basis cut, tore and ground like broken grass into my fragility. Another door slammed shut inside me.

____________

Did I feel unworthy of approval?
Was I loved as a kid?
Did I sabotage myself in the friends I chose?

All these questions and more spun round my brain as I faced my shrink once a week.
Tony called them my “weekly fruit loop sessions.”

And yet…and yet, in the furthest recesses of me lurked this tiny flame. A small opening in an unlikely place. A nano-blink of hope, if you will. A door, an abandoned door, slightly ajar, a glimpse of something beyond.

I knew better of course, than to open it further – what if there was nothing on the other side? What if it was just an infinite desert out there? What if the door broke free under my hand and I couldn’t get back to that black hole inside me that longed for comfort and yet was comfort itself? My fault. I had abandoned that door years ago and now I feared it and longed for it all at once.

____________

“Claire? Claire?”

I focussed on Tony, who couldn’t focus on me as he slid to the floor. He tried, believe me. That was a new experience for me. Normally, he couldn’t even be bothered to look at me or even the space I occupied. That’s why it was so easy in the end.

“Drunk”, I said to no-one in particular.
I gently slipped the liquid dropper into my pocket, walked to the door and didn’t look back.

© Jeannette Sheehy 2009

  • Micky McGuinness

    Micky McGuinness

    Well that certainly was zinger of a tale!
    You should really have a go at Twisted Tournoi 03 as well!

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks Micky – I’ve been having a look at the Twisted Tournoi. I don’t know where I will find the time, but I think I may have a go! Hope you’re doing well :)

  • Damian

    Damian

    Excellent, really enjoyed the style.

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks so much Damian – I’ve been away from RB for a wee while and haven’t written at all since December, so it was good to be able to sit down and write again. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

  • JakcTheRipper

    JakcTheRipper

    Great job, this is very Karmatic? is that a word… anyway it was good =]

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    Cheers Colin – and if Karmatic is not a word, it should be! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. :)

  • Mark Bateman

    Mark Bateman

    Hey good write Jeannette – glad I caught it on one of those rare occasions I check RB. There’s real scope to expand this story too!

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks Mark! When are you going to get back to writing, and photography in between running and gym-ming and pond-ing etc? Glad you got a chance to check in with RB. Glad you liked it. :)

  • Jim Hall

    Jim Hall

    Nice one! I see that you’ll be serious competition also! And after all, isn’t that what we want? Great twist, too! JH

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thank you very much Jim – really appreciate it. Love the Star Twister challenges…even though I haven’t written anything for a few months now, I still come by to read the excellent entries every week. :)

  • Alison Pearce

    Alison Pearce

    Excellent story!!

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks so much Alison – and thank you for the fav :)

  • Solar Zorra

    Solar Zorra

    Ooooo, that was the kind of twist I like, snuff out the jerk and blame it on the bad beer. Good one!! :) SZ

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    “snuff out the jerk and blame it on the bad beer” ! lol…thanks SZ – glad you enjoyed it. Anyone who drinks ice cold fizzy watered down beer deserves to be snuffed really. ;)

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    Ahhh loved it…..great twist…fabulous story…..wonderful writing….hmmm can you tell I was really entertained? :>D

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    why thank you very much Arcadia, glad you liked it! :) :)

  • lightsmith

    lightsmith

    ‘Another door slammed shut inside me’ – classic.

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks LIghtsmith – the prompt made for good reading this week, don’t you think? I still have moving stones on the brain! :)

  • Zolton

    Zolton

    Congrats on the win from the hosts of Twisted Tales!!

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    really??? oh my gosh – thank you! :)

  • Jim Hall

    Jim Hall

    Heartfelt congrats on your win. But if I couldn’t take first place, then I’m glad you did! JH

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    Thank you so much Jim, for your kind words and your encouragement. :)

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    Congrats….XX

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    cheers Arcadia :) Looking forward to your entry this week!

  • Jim Hall

    Jim Hall

    Congrats twice for your feature. nicely done. JH

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    thanks so much Jim – much appreciated :)

  • Matt Penfold

    Matt Penfold

    Ha, good one Jeannette nasty twist indeed, nothing like a bit of help from Mickey Finn (I can see why Solar likes it so much, she’s a sucker for a bloke getting humiliated ;-)

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    lol Matt – thanks for the comment. Mickey Finn’s a good ‘un – he comes in handy from time to time. ;o)

  • LadyOtilia

    LadyOtilia

    I say you should fling that door open. Hey, you’re a gifted writer, you create atmosphere and you stir feelings up.

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    Lady – I only just saw your comment today – thank you so much for the lovely compliment. I’m so glad you enjoyed this. :)

  • Kanaka

    Kanaka

    You appear dangerous to be around. You would not do that to your Dad would you? Good story. XXXXXXXXx

  • Jeannette Sheehy replied

    lol Dad – of course not…..mwahahaha

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