The Disposal
A couple argue over the disposal of a dead body.
For Star Twister 22 – Bones
The Disposal belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales, WMG and Writers EdgeThey glared at each other over the ravaged body; circling the stark, white bones.
“What shall we do now then?” she asked.
“You know what we have to do, it’s the only way.” he replied. “And remember, you promised to abide by the rules.”
“I know I promised – you don’t have to bloody remind me!” She folded her arms tight across her chest as if to hold herself together. “But I did all the work. I had to kill her, and now you’re telling me that I’m the one that has to dispose of her. It’s just not fair.”
He sighed. It was an argument they went through every time.
There was only one way to settle it. They both knew it. One of them had to go down. This was no time to take prisoners. Whatever happened, they had to abide by the other’s wish.
Slowly their arms reached out to the skeleton and then toward each other. At the count of three, their grip tightened. Her pupils dilated with anxiety and an almost palpable fear; he looked certain and strong….until…snap!
“Nooooooooo!!” The word was faint and drawn out. Her limbs went slack and lifeless. The light left her eyes.
He walked out of the room, breathing out an exultant “Yessss!”
She was left alone, yet again, to clear up the remains of the turkey dinner. She was never good at getting the bigger half of the wishbone.
© 2008 Jeannette Sheehy
iAN Derrick
A good giggling tale JS…just be thankful it is not am emu.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Can you imagine trying to break an emu wishbone??!! lol! Glad it got you giggling sir. As you can see I am back from my beautiful hot air balloon ride large as life and sound in limb. :)
Mark Bateman
Hey Jeanette! That’s brilliant, well done! Really good use of descriptive words, the pace is great and the final twist really works. Well done!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
Thanks so much Mark – I do appreciate yours and iAN’s comments about my scribbles…high praise indeed! I edited a LOT out and found that it worked a lot better with it being shorter. And congrats on the writing feature!! :)
Micky McGuinness
At no point in time did I imagine that this was a turkey!
Good twist… or should I say pull!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Micky! I’m glad you liked it :) Need to post it in time for the deadline on Wednesday in the forum!
Karin Taylor
omigosh you’re clever!!! i was waiting for the twist, but would never have guessed!!! lol
Jeannette Sheehy replied
hurrah!! glad you didn’t guess the twist….when you’ve written it, because you know it so well, you always think that it’s obvious…glad that you liked it! :)
Matthew Dalton
Go Jeannette! I can see a new force emerging in the Twisted Tails arena!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks so much Matthew! I am so looking forward to seeing your entry :)
Banalheed
Extremely well rwritten and gripping read. I have to admit as soon as the word “table” came in the first paragraph I kind of suspected where we were headed. I think you could drop the table here and just have them encircling where the bones lay.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
wow – thanks so much Banal…I did wonder about writing the word “table”. I think you are right on that point. Still very much a beginner in the writing forum, so I appreciate the critique. :)
Jeannette Sheehy replied
I just took the word table out, and it does work a lot better. Thanks for the advice :)
KMFalcon
Having just read some rather gruesome stories prior to this one, I’d already prepared myself for the horrid twist….you got me, surprised and somewhat relieved. lol
Jeannette Sheehy replied
lol…glad to provide some light relief from the gore!! lol
lightsmith
hilarious – i had grave expectations! excellent.
Jeannette Sheehy replied
“grave” expectations?? lolol…..thank you so much lightsmith – I’m so glad you liked it :)
Flic Manning
“The light left her eyes.” what a great line and deceiving – it had me fooled! Great twist!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Flic – I think the light leaves my eyes every time I have to do the dishes after cooking dinner!! lol…
Flic Manning
Hhahaha I know that feeling all too well!
Zolton
Ha ha ha. Oh, it’s been years since I’ve fought over the wish bone. Gonna have to give it a go this year. Very clever. : )
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thanks Zolton – it’s the only way to get out of the dishes y’know!! lolol
lightsmith
My one regret in being a vegie is that there are no wishbones. My one consolation is that I never got what I wished for even when I pulled them and won! Excellent story and a great twist (of the bone) at the end.
Matthew Dalton
Well Jeannette – fancy sharking us all by pretending to be here for the photos and then coming out with a great and place winning story like this!
Well done!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
lol Matthew! i haven’t heard that word “sharking” for a long time! Thanks for the compliment – I have always liked to write but never had the guts to show anyone and thought that RB might be a safe place to start. “sharking”....lolol
Banalheed
Congratulations on second place Jeannette. As Matthew said earlier…a new writing force has arrived here in Twisted Tales!
Jeannette Sheehy replied
thank you so much Banal – I have to say I was very surprised especially as my story seemed so simple compared to all the others. I appreciate the encouragement I have received from everyone…now to put my thinking cap on for “deadline”....:)