(For Alexander)

What place is this that I am at?
A place I had not planned to be.
A place where death and suffering prevail.
Where news is not good and the questions many, with only cups of tea to satisfy.
Too much time to think and reflect.
The helplessness of losing control over ones destiny.
The angels of mercy come with needles in the night.
The bodies of souls clinging to life surround and those that have lost removed quietly in the dark shadows of the night.
Echoes of intimate conversations too personal to hear fill the air.
Yet there is hope and love even if there are not answers but the mind still strays to the eternal question: is this the sum of my days…to leave the ones I cherish behind?
If it has truly come to the end then I will miss the love and the laughter in my childrens’ eyes, for that is why I choose to live. And what of my darling wife? So difficult for her, raising the children on her own. For me to fail her and them at this, their greatest need.

We look out of the window at the sun’s new day, watching the passers by. The cars go by, lives on the move, but for us the unknowing continues.
The outside world continues with events so important at the time until we all come to this place to reflect on what we have built and what we might have to leave behind.

The sum of my life may be at hand. Have I created for good or destroyed? Only I can answer. For this answer is with me and the cosmos, where every secret is known. The greater good from whence I came I may now return to, but if the dice are cast and the grim reaper passes on by then I promise to live better than before.