Halloween
Frankie isn’t happy.
“Frankie,” Mommy calls.
He stays put, pouting, pretending not to hear.
“Franklin James,” she says again, louder, “I know you can hear me!”
Why’d Daddy have to take a stupid job in Australia, anyway. Life, as Frankie knows it, is over. No one asked what he thinks. They don’t care about his best friend, Johnny, and all their grand schemes Frankie left behind. Or that the weather is all backward here.
Knowing Mommy’s limits, Frankie shuffles toward the house.
Inside, his mom bends over the table, her back to the door. She whips around.
“Fran-!” she catches herself. “Oh, there you are! Where were you? Look what Daddy brought home.” She holds the door wide for Frankie.
Johnny’s gonna be envious.
It is the authentic hooded Spiderman costume he wanted more than anything!
Wonder what that kid next door is wearing? This will be a great Hallowe’en!
Comments
Cute take on the challenge! Very well written
The interal and external dialog flow so well together….its seamless….wonderful work!!!
I love the “Knowing Mommy’s limits…” line. Relatable and entertaining. I stumbled a bit over the “authentic fake costume” part, though I like the rhythm of the extra descriptor before Spiderman…maybe defining it as the Red or Black spiderman would give the same rhythm, without the stumble?
Well done.
Louise
Alison and jc, thanks for the reads and compliments. I wasn’t sure about entering this, but it wouldn’t go away.
Louise, I really appreciate your suggestion. I was grasping at a way to describe how it seems real to Frankie, but it’s just a cheap store-bought immitation. I’ve reworked it, hopefully for the better.
Ah, Yes. I think you’ve done it!
Louise
LOL, that’s a good one :)