Written by John Thomas on Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Let me say this first. This is a process that works for me. I have no idea if your path to your spirit will be the same.

Go through this exercise in your head. Say for example, one of the bad experiences you had with another person and or situation. Think back to your gut reaction at certin times regarding this person/situation. Specially when you were first getting to know them or first exposed to the situation. Then recall how you convinced yourself they were O.K or the circumstances were acceptable in the situation. You might call it “after careful meditation”, or “After praying on the matter”, or “After Much analysis”. for me it is usually a ping in the heart, kind of a knee jerk gut reaction. Something they said or did has caused an emotional reaction in me and stirred my spirit! With situations it can be a weird feeling stepping into a room. Or a bad vibe I get when walking around a corner or pulling into a parking lot.

In the past I would talk myself out of these feelings. After all who am I to judge. Everyone deserves a fair chance. Or, I am being silly. Their is nothing wrong with this building, parking lot, neighborhood. Then over time their true self emerges or something bad regarding place and time in the situations occurs. As soon as it becomes evident that you made a mistake start looking back. Flash back to that gut reaction you might have talked yourself out of. Take a long hard honest look at the situation. (This takes practice. It is human nature to justify our actions, in our own mind. It is easy not to lie to others, not so easy, to not lie to ourselves. This will be specially hard if you suffer a lot regarding this person/situation.) Consider asking a close, objective friend to look at the facts as you see them. Tell them about your gut feelings you had before you went ahead anyway! (This should be a friend that has called you on your “bull” in the past. One, not afraid to be honest, even when it will hurt your feelings.) This is really the key for me. Admitting that I made an error in judgment and got myself into a bad relation or situation.

Over the last few years I have started learning to refine this reaction. I am only human and at times my bad reaction is false. But guess what I would not have known it was false without cautiously observing the persons actions and attitudes. Stay on guard but do no harm. Do not speak ill of the person or situation. I am careful to speak to no one about how I reacted to said person. Unless the reaction is extreme and I fear the emotional and or physical safety of others. In some cases when adverse gut feelings keep coming up you might think about letting the person that caused the bad vibe that you feel bad, funny, hurt, etc…about what they have said or done. Let them know you are not judging them. However they have said or done something that bothered you in some way. Do it as politely and as lovingly as you possibly can. Actually letting someone know they are hurting your feelings or making you uncomfortable has the effect of disarming aggression! In many cases it is just bad communication. In a few though this dialog will remove the bad person from your path without any aggressive behavior.

With the situations make a mental note of time and place. Once I could not shake a weird feeling I was getting in a parking lot. So I parked on the street a few blocks away. Then after my meeting, of many hours, most of the peopleI was with later reported every car was keyed in that lot during our meeting. This is an extreme example and may be a specific gift I have. However the things above regarding people I think can be honed and you can learn to follow the guide of the voice within! I do not suggest using the friend with these type of situations. We don’t want folks worrying about us or trying to have us committed!