Making peace with ones self.
Just my opinion.
First what it’s not. It isn’t about money, collecting things, or getting and staying even.
It’s a presence not a feeling, it’s God is in his heaven and I’m at peace with the world.
I searched for validation and needed company all the time. My idea of companionship was anyone who would put up with me.
Then the awakening after a near death experience or at least near useless existence. The search is over and the payback begins. First a realization of who I was followed quickly by who I need to be.
My needs are few and getting less every day. I don’t need to feel a victim or to victimize with self justification. No one owes me and I owe you all. I owe you respect, forgiveness, fairness, honesty and LOVE.
Now I owe God and every day I intend to repay by being grateful, caring, humble, and loving in all my affairs. I owe my maker for another chance to be the best me I am capable of being. I need to be giving and not needing.
Drop my personal baggage at every step in the road of life that is now shorter. A realization that the Joneses don’t need catching up with. My worst enemy has been my best teacher and allowed me to see inside of me.
I prepare now to meet my maker with my head held high, saying I really tried dear God, this time I really tried, and thanks for the opportunity.
May 18th 2008
Self observation, and a realization.