JenniferB

nothing wrong, i just went a bit loony a few months back and spent time in a psyche unit, now the System wont let me go! oh crap! better dash and pretend I’ve been up for hours! ;-)

nothing… I’m sure I’m as sane as the next person. ;-)

Hahaha! Reminds me of when a shrink says, “Lie down here and tell me when it all began….” guess they’d need at least a couple of lifetimes for me to be able to get through it! LOL Oh, I’m soooooooooooo over all of that shit now. :)

the System sucks… I swear, I’m as sane as the next person!!! :-P

hahaha… so true val. ;-)

yep, the bubble is the best therapy Ever, and you can even push the button on it whenever you want to… Unlike my shrink who never ferking shuts up… I thought they were supposed to listen??? haha!

strange you should say that walt, there’s dog fur EVERYWHERE, and that was one of my major worries! lol

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!! I just prefer to have FUN!!! :-P

hahahaha…. I soooooooooooooo wish that Thinking a clean house into reality could happen, I hate domestic shit! :-)

Tell my partner that, I suspect he’d like nothing better just so that he could kick my son’s ass out on the street and have the house to himself… ;-)

fixing a hole in my umbrella as I hover above your chimney! :-))

I could try unerving him by grabbing a carving knife out of the cutlery draw and chopping up some raw meat… ;-)

He was late… lucky for him I don’t charge by the hour for my ‘Services’ haha! :)

Mine’s only in his thirties, but I’m sure there’s times when he wishes that he could retire! :-D

oh fuck… don’t even joke about that possibility!!! That place gave me the shits! haha! ;-)

I did try to screw the system, but the System was too poncy and professional to want to be ‘screwed’ ;-)
Yep, my soul is well guarded. thanks trwoody.

the thought of weilding an ax is tempting at times! hahaha! I know, the fuckers wont let me go! And my partner just rubs salt in the wound, he can be a real asshole sometimes.

Thank god that’s over! :-)

hahaha… the house is stacked with old teaching supplies and computer parts, to make matters worse, he had to sit on the coffee table! LOL

oh, I don’t give a crap if he reads this, he knows I think he’s a real tosser! hahaha!

Oh… both of me loves you both too! ;-)

argh, it’s along boring story, if he gets me committed he gets full control of the finances and estate, (I own the house), plus he can kick my son out onto the street, he wants me, but he wants control over everything including me, he’s just that type of person, he has plenty of good attributes to make up for it, plus he’s ‘safe’ territory. ;-)
Everything’s relative I suppose. :)

hahaha! now why don’t I find it strange that you’d think of something like that??? Hey… It’s nearly halloween… So if the Timing’s right next time, ya never know! LOL. :)

But I LOVE my insanity!!! It feels like I’m perpetually stoned! Lol Tell you what though, if I ever needed a personal shrink, I can’t think of anyone more compassionate or understanding than you to call on… Only I’m completely sane, I swear it! haha! :-)

it’s been known to have happened… but forewarned is forearmed, I’m too sane to be tricked or locked away now… I think??? lol

Lol… Technology is a real Mind Trip at times hu? Oh, I’ve survived far worse, and my insanity and ability to laugh at everything gets me by just fine these days. ;-)

awww… you’re so sweet, hugs and warm thoughts and feelings to you too. It’s only human to feel hurt sometimes, heaven forbid if we should ever stop being that! :-) xox

oh I just made a fuckwit of myself on the forum… Made my first ever forum post without reading the finer details of the redbubble guidelines! hahaha… So I asked for people not to respond and spoke to myself instead. Oh I cleaned the place up… Out of shame, AFTER he’d gone! hahaha! :)

that’s so cool about your bruv’s mate, neat when people work to achieve their wildest goals! :) Nah, those shrinks aren’t geniuses, they’re just book readers and pen pushers who fill in too many checklists… he’s pretty cute for a shrink though… should’ve asked for a sexy female one hu? ;)

Oh usually I have to go to the mental health centre to see him, but he was interested and nosey in seeing my home environment, doubt he will be again though! hahaha! Oh the ‘white room’ with internet access is fine… But I assure you, you don’t get much solitude, calmness or peace and quiet there! Nope, I’d stick to the safety of my bedroom any time! Hope your weekly trips are working for you, I finally feel like I don’t need mine any more, but once the system has you in their grasp, it’s bloody hard to get them to let go again! ;)

haha! gotta see the lighter side of things these days. ;-)

I’d dress you up in a sexy pinny and make you do all of my housework! ;-P

LOL… Nothing beats a sexy, naked man with a nice ass wearing a pinny. :-P

Lol… sooooooo true! I bet my shrink’s written a great pornographic story about me, we should ask our shrinks to trade stories! haha! It seems they spend more time assessing to cover their own butts than anything else, still, it breaks the monotony of thinking about myself for a change! :-)

Oh shit… I didn’t think to offer him anything to drink… hahaha! I’m useless at playing hostess, and if I’d offered him a f@ck in exchange for a great review I’d probably be in the psyche unit instead of at home bubbling about it right now! :-)

Oh… ever since I came out of the pysche unit I feel perpetually stoned, in cruise mode like nothing at all phases or bothers me, any time someone or something tries to piss me off I find myself laughing and thinking how pathetic it all is… Not sure why, but it feels a darn sight better than I felt before my crash! :-)
Did you read Peter’s post HERE?

Looks like the path may be all clear for heather to come back if she still wants to… not sure if she does now though.

oh I tell you… I was shitting bricks yesterday! hahaha!

Lol… I’m fine thanks linda, hope you’re doing well too. Next time I’ll have a plan of action ready before they walk through the front gate. ;-)

oh i wondered why i hadn’t heard much of you in a long time, was chatting to caroline about heather the other day and thought of you, yeah, I’m not sure whether meds do more harm than good in some ways, they kind of ‘normalise you’ to tconform to he standards society expects of you in the end, but they absolutlely kill your character, schitzo is what landed me in the psyche unit… i hope you’ve managed to find some kind of balance with them now… Fuck I miss my insane Mania! hahaha!

oh i’m doing fine thanks, living a kind of day to day existence, taking each moment as it comes and not looking too far ahead, I find it simpler and easier to deal with things that way, though it’s not exactly helping me to get my ass back to work in a hurry though! glad to hear youre feeling more balanced now, and yep, it can be shitty how out of control behaviour screws up everyone and everything around you, but those who really know and love you should forgive you and understand.

you’re still young and have plenty of life ahead of you to try to achieve a sense of balance, don’t give up on trying everything that might help you, I know guys can be more stubborn about mental health issues and shit, but there’s no shame in getting help and trying to get yourself on track again, the fact that youre thinking of going back to school shows that you’ve still got a sense of hope and see some chance of a normal future, so things can turn around and become more centred. I’m glad you’ve got a girlfriend who supports you, even through the tough times, it’s a test of true friendship when people accept you for who you are and understand your struggle. Oh the weather effects me weirdly too, especially thunder storms, the electricity in the air plays havoc with my mind and nervous system, it really throws me off kilter, I’m hypersensitive to heaps of things. Yesterday I went to the shopping mall for the first time in two years, I felt so fucking claustrophobic and I swear I could smell the stench of everyone’s skin, all I kept thinking about is how I was being exposed to grime and germs, and sure enough, I caught a fucking cold the same day! I’ve kept myself pretty isolated for a long time now, but it’s become safe and cosey for me. I used to be a teacher before I completely broke down, went psychotic and turned to shit, a real high achiever, my career and the kids were everything to me, I’m thinking of getting back into it on a smaller scale, like small group teaching or something, I don’t take to authority figures very well and the politics of the school system just sucks, I rebel against so many things. :)
I think sometimes your Mind needs a total rest, to separate from everything going on and watch life from a detached perspective, the weird thing is since my crash and stint in the psyche unit, fuck all bothers me any more, I never get upset, pissed off or phased, I feel kind of permanently stoned and amused by stuff, but sooner or later I have to shake my ass and start functioning in society again, helping to earn some cash, so I’m slowly visualising things I need to do.
Hang in there, take and ask for all the help you can get, try out regular and alternative methods of treatment, anything that might help bring a sense of balance to your Mind and find a safe central point for you to function in, sooner or later something will work for you that helps you feel more on track, it does get easier, I feel much more at peace and less hassled by everything these days, it’s like once you’ve hit rock bottom and climbed your way up again, you know you can make it and things don’t seem so important and major any more, I guess it’s a bit of an irresponsible feeling, but it sure as hell feels more contented and happier. My partner is a programmer, techie and web designer, over time he’s taught me heaps of geek techie stuff, but I love technology, weird, but most people with strains of autism or other mental illnesses really seem to be drawn to the technical/computer side of things, maybe because answers can be found and it’s not a never ending trial and riddle like the rest of life can seem. Take care, once you get your mind focussed on something you want to achieve, like the computer programming, it will probably help centre you again. :) xox

OMG I’ve written a fucking book! hahaha! That’s the most I’ve written in a long time, now if only I could pull a poem out of it all somehow!!! :-))

yup, bmailed you back, and for the record, I don’t mind you taking either me or my comment thread hostage at all… ;-P