BRUISED

Jboo09
Author: Jboo09
Word Count: 99
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BRUISED

Some people fall gracefully
As if
Perhaps
The rug was simply whisked out from beneath them
And they land
Giggling
In a heap.
Oh, but that is not how I fell for you.
Nothing in my life could be that simple…
You were taken at the time
Miserably taken
Come to think of it,
So was I
But I drank you in anyway
Until, I’m sure,
You could sense the lust that oozed from my pores
And then evaporated
In to the very air you breathed beside me.
I fell HARD for you
And my knees are still bruised.

  • tonilouise

    tonilouise

    You write what I feel..Ahhhh just beautiful…

  • Jboo09 replied

    Thanks so much, and I’m glad you can relate :)

  • Lisa  Jewell

    Lisa Jewell

    I hope those bruises heal quickly….

    Beautifully written…XO

  • Jboo09 replied

    Thanks I appreciate your comments!! And actually everything worked our quite well in this situation, the poem could easily be misinterpreted, but the bruises I refer to are from falling hard for someone I still love very much (my boyfriend of over two years)... I fell hard and clumsy but it was worth it ;)

  • liciouspoet

    liciouspoet

    this is very well written…....from the heart….......keep it up.

  • Jboo09 replied

    thank you :)

  • Paul Rees-Jones

    Paul Rees-Jones

    Wonderfully written…

  • Jboo09 replied

    Thanks so much Paul

  • Hayley Cafarella

    Hayley Cafarella

    Powerful imagery! Sad to be left with only bruises xx

  • Jboo09 replied

    Like I said to Lisa, the bruises are from falling hard, but everything worked out well in the end… I feel lucky to be in relationship where every day I fall for my man all over again… that’s why I’m still bruised :)

  • greeneyedlady

    greeneyedlady

    ah, i never fell gracefully, either…your poems really speak to me—keep them coming!

  • Jboo09 replied

    Lol… glad to share them with you, thanks so much for reading and commenting on my work!

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars

    wonderful
    I love…

    “And they land
    Giggling
    In a heap.”

    great expression!~*

  • Jboo09 replied

    Thanks Amy ;)

  • myoriginalsin

    myoriginalsin

    That last line is so powerful :) Powerful words….wonderfully written

  • clone42

    clone42

    Bruised knees are cool.
    Like stick-on scars.

  • Roscoe Davis III

    Roscoe Davis III

    I absolutley love your poetry.

  • Rachael  Hope

    Rachael Hope

    You are beautiful, in spirit and with words. I hope your bruises heal xx

  • jtaft

    jtaft

    this is so beautifully constructed, it hits you hard and right where it should. I love it :)

  • yt sumner

    yt sumner

    I love the bruised knees! Such a wonderful metaphor… as a kid it seemed they were bruised all the time, eh? Lucky you to find someone that keeps them there permanently. This is lovely.

  • SinisterDragon

    SinisterDragon

    That is beautifully written and full of wonderful metaphor. Blessings

  • normajean

    normajean

    You write about love as it is free and takes you by surprise and knocks you down sometimes, a great poem

  • Vim Lowenstein

    Vim Lowenstein

    Enjoyed it. Kinda similar style to my own, so you get my gold star and fluffy mongoose for the piece to stick in your CV. Just remember to feed the mongoose the odd snake or two, they get hungry those cutesy little buggers

  • lolowe

    lolowe

    This is wonderful.

  • lianne

    lianne

    Absolutely fantastic piece of writing – the metaphor is just wonderfully developed – and that last line is phenomenal! Jenni you just get better and better all the time – I’ve run out of adjectives to express how amazingly talented you are and how spectacularly good your poetry is! I am in awe!

  • reflector

    reflector

    Amazing writing ! So much flow and it just carries the reader along on a journey. Very neatly wrapped up too + very emotive !

  • David Harris

    David Harris

    You touch me on a personel level! you are very gifted! Keep up the fantastic work!

  • Alistair Wilson

    Alistair Wilson

    great piece of work, really well done. i usually don’t read much writing but this is terrific well done :)

  • ufosIsee

    ufosIsee

    AW the breifness still glazed the full spatter of it all, well projected my dear loved it…

  • androgynous33

    androgynous33

    wow, nice work..have felt this before.

  • thurninawilson

    thurninawilson

    i loved it

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