The day we found out you were sick, I knew deep down that the news was bad. I think you knew too.
Things got very tough at that time, you had friends turn away and abandon you, and you felt like you had wasted your life. That all that you had given the world was a waste of time. You felt like you had done your time, that you had no more to offer and these people made you feel you were not worth being alive. Well I made sure you knew that was not the case. You are all the world should be.
You got depressed, as anyone would knowing that they had a terminal illness. But to have those you love walk away was heart breaking.
We didn’t walk away, we knew that you would need us by your side all the way, and of course we would not have had it any other way. I promised you I would be with you to the end and I was.
You were like the voice in your head when you need an answer. You know, when you are confused and you can’t figure it out and all of a sudden its like an angel gave you insight and the answer appears. That was you!
You were all that made sense. You knew the answers when all of us (including those who left) could not figure it out. YOu were blessed.
You had this ability to reach out to those who needed comfort and advice. All you would need to do is put your hand on someones arm and say “I understand” and they would feel the warmth of you pulsate through them. Then they were calm and they knew they had found comfort in you. The essense of you was all love.
I am the luckiest woman in the world to have been graced with you. I only had you for 30 odd years, but many would not have been so blessed as to have such a remarkable, loving woman in their lives at all.
Talking to my daughter today, and she said to me “Nan was the one with all the answers” She was right, for some reason you always knew the right answers that would work for any of us, you always made things clear. Amongst confusion and depression you brought light into our lives and opened our eyes.
I cannot comprehend how a world can go on even when they are blind to the fact that an angel has died. You made sense. You made the world make sense and everything else around it. A light went out in the world when you went and life will always be slightly darker without you. But I hope to carry the torch you once held in your heart with me and learn from all you taught me.
I believe you are in the brightest of lights, in the greatest levels of heaven where you belong out of this God forsaken place. I am sure you are reading all the books in heaven and helping those souls that still struggle.
God Bless you and may your great light shine brighter in heaven.
This is like a letter to my mother expressing all I thought of her, I am sure there is more but I want so much to share all she was with people. She was seriously an amazing woman full of knowledge and insight.