Do not mistake my kindness as 'softness'
Thanks to dogpriest for the title…....
Many people struggle with the word ‘kindness’.
Many people feel that ‘kind’ people can be walked over, abused, hurt and treated badly. Why? Well, because they are ‘kind’ and they will not mind. They will forgive, as always, and still see the good behind the words and actions. ‘Kind’ people are seen as ‘soft’ and are often encouraged to ‘toughen up’.
Well…...in my experience, ‘kind’ people are not always born that way. Experience makes us that way – often bad experiences and a lot of pain, hurt and trauma.
I’m tired of being seen as ‘too soft’ and ‘too nice’, professionally, – to me there is no such thing. I have had enough pain, fighting and hurt in my life…now…I just want peace…and I just want to be…..me….....and let other people be…them….
I don’t think I’m asking for too much.
Please read this and, the next time you think someone is being ‘too soft’ – look beyond the ‘kind’ face, listen beyond the words you hear and really feel…
you might find that you see them differently….and you might then understand where their compassion comes from.
Kindness
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night
with plans and the simple breath
that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness
as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow
as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness
that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day
to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
By Naomi Shihab Nye
Maggieposh
Your Just The Best….......Love This….Miss Posh
Jaybe replied
I’m glad you ‘got it’.....thankyou
bearpaw
thank you for sharing this Jaybe… how true it is… may kindness be yours and may you always shine who you are.
Jaybe replied
And you bearpaw – thankyou.
dogpriest
“Do not mistake my kindness as softness” one of the greatest things i was told by a wise man. As i was in that situation myself.
excellent piece and so true,
thanxz Jaybe.
dogpriest
Jaybe replied
The man who said this was indeed wise and I just changed my title – thanks mate. ;-)
HeatherTS
i dissagree, witht he first paragraph…they are not viewed as ppl that shld be abused rather they let themselves become everyones doormat.
now i might sound insensitive, but i am not.
play with fire YOU WILL GET BURNED, yet for some reason too many “kind” ppl do it anyway, even though they know what the outcome will be, dont feel so bad about everything ppl will fuck u over, why keep letting it happen ? !
now in the sense of trying to save the world, these types of “kind” ppl….i adore, they are rsepectable and should not change or apologize for the work they do or the heart they use to preform their duties…
im pretty sure the “toughen up” logic is this, quit doin shit you know will hurt you/
Jaybe replied
Hmm Heather – I’ll take a risk and say this here…I’m talking from a work point of view hun….so..”they are rsepectable and should not change or apologize for the work they do or the heart they use to perform their duties…” – this bit applies…..
Christopher Bi...
i dont equate soft with passion, you my friend have a passion! and a voice, a winning combination in minds eye!
Jaybe replied
OMG – you just hit the nail right on the head!! You are a star!! Yes, I’m passionate and yes, I have a voice….thankyou..you so ‘got it’.
dogpriest
the wise man once thought he was a fool, how truer of a wise man can there be?
it was my dad, a friend I never saw.
I call him a wise man, because when i was young i would intently listen to the old men, waiting for them to say something amazing, when all along the wisdom came from him, but i chose not to listen.
Life experience made me see the truth.
So this piece is awesome, and now i think i’ll phone him, lol
thanxz Jaybe for sharing this.
dogpriest
HeatherTS
lol okie…then hunneh you are kind and passionate!!!
passionatley kind even!!!
(i think i get angry over the fact ppl keep lettin themsleves be hurt…makes me wantt to kick theirs and the one hurtin ems asses!!! sorry for the rant ahaha!)
HeatherTS
i hope i did not offend you jaybe…
Jaybe replied
Of course you didn’t hun…..don’t even go there….go find me another violin extravanganza!!!! LMAO..
;-)
Gregory John O...
Nice one. Thanks for the post…...most people forget to be kind to themselves…..
aspectsoftmk
i stand up…...look to the sky…....put my hands together and say…........yes…
your eyes see why and your voice tells….....
Maureen Bloesch
i kind of like the word…kindness….:>))
LindaR
great writing and pov ~ gives me pause to consider the same…I think the kind of kindness that you speak of & where my sense of kindness comes from is this…you need to have known & experienced un-kindness & kindness before to know its full value ~ and then to respond in kind to when you see it in another. It comes from having a heart who has been self taught by enough experience to know the difference it can make in being kind ~ and the wisdom to part from company from those are unkind and want to take advantage~ that also is taught through experience…along the lines of “pearls to swine” analogy.
And kindness can become a form of self expression ~ need not be called forth from another ~ but comes from within…
Thank you for this moment of thought along these lines…and if you’re still reading lol ~ allowing me to express here xx
dimarie
i’m gonna come back to this and write somethin a bit more profound than an “oh fuk yea i so know where you’re comin from”... :)
But I think i do…and mon dieu I wish that people would not confuse the two…like confidence and arrogance, so often get confused….
I can forgive, I’m quite good at it lol…. but that doesnt mean I will….I’ve come far enough now to realise that not all are worthy of forgiveness…and that doesnt make me a lesser person to choose not to forgive all….the same as it dont make me a doormat because I choose to be kind, and honest… but frikkin hell, alot of people think they can assume that title for me and treat me accordingly…bah…I’ve no time for those people anymore, in business or pleasure…
And dont worry, I never would think you were ‘too soft’ lol… your just soft enough for me to lerv you all the more! :)