Now I can say no
Dealing with my own demons
Dedicated to all survivors
(You may borrow this, if it helps, or buy with very little markup beyond RB’s costs.)
Nikon D200 and a Nikkor 50mm f/1.4 lens, 50mm, f/1.8 and 1/250 sec, -0.3ev, IS0 100, spot metering, Manfrotto tripod. Converted from RAW (12 bit) to jpeg using Nikon’s Capture NX 2.2.
Self portrait. Sought advice, after almost a full day’s attempts, about the lighting.
Now I can say no belongs to the following groups:
Alaska ~ Beyond Your Dreams, DSLR Users Only - 1/24 - Camera & Lens In Description Please., Friends of RedBubble, Nikon DSLR Users Group - 2 uploads per 24 hours, NYIP students and alumni and The Woman Photographer **7 Submissions a week only please** Available for sale asGreeting Cards, Matted Prints, Laminated Prints, Mounted Prints and Framed Prints


Barbara Burkhardt
Jan what art – WOW !!
... (is that a knife?)
Jan Timmons replied
Hi Barbara, it’s a rather large Henckels chef’s knife, perfect for carving up tofu and miscreants.
Vasile Stan
This is truly remarkable Jan.
Jan Timmons replied
You’re once again encouraging and kind, Vasile.
rodeorose
Powerful Jan!..
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you. I still admire youru Going Gentle Into That Good Night, as a tribute and a great timing and photo.
Sylvia Gonzales
Love It Jan!!!! Awesome Image!!!! : )
Jan Timmons replied
Thanks for your enthusiasm, Sylvia. I’ve just been admiring some of your work.
nadine henley
well, you’ve taken my breath away, jan. Amazing self-portrait.
Jan Timmons replied
Your comment means a lot to me, Nadine.
Barbara Burkhardt
This image is so strong! You are strong!
Jan Timmons replied
Now, yes.
BarbaraManis
This is a beautiful piece of artwork, Jan!
Jan Timmons replied
I appreciate your encouragement, Barbara.
Scott d'Almeida
outstanding,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you, Scott.
DragonFlyer
I truly love you – my friend! Superb power!
K xxx
Jan Timmons replied
I knew what I wanted this morning, Kallena, but it took almost all day to this evening, and the light still doesn’t gleam enough on the knife.
But hey, here’s to us, eh?
Clare Colins
Very powerful image! Go girl!
Jan Timmons replied
You, too, Clare.
Joyce Dickens,...
Dynamic and intense Jan, and so well done… JD
Jan Timmons replied
High praise from a pro, Joyce. Appreciate the energizing comment.
WatscapePhoto
Empowerment, eh? Terrific, terrifying and brilliant, Jan.
Jan Timmons replied
Finally, yes. Thanks, Steven.
Barbara Burkhardt
“perfect for carving up tofu and miscreants” .. a vegetarian can carve up miscreants as long as they don’t eat them right? LOL Glad you got the shot you wanted after all that work.
Jan Timmons replied
Almost. Might need an angle on the tofu knife, or a scythe, perhaps. Thanks, Barbara. Have you arrived home yet? Your Lakes of the Rockies calendar is jsut full of beautiful photos.
Barbara Burkhardt
and here I was working on the light on the lake!! LOL Jan thanks for your favourable comments on Magic on Moraine Lake series … and yes back home to bad dust storms on the eastern board of the country from Sydney to the tropics!
DragonFlyer
You bet Jan – Here’s to us :D
Steve Buffington
Cool!—Steve
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you, Steve.
DragonFlyer
And Jan – I feel like you’ve made the perfect self-portrait for me too – I could never make an image that portrays ME NOW than this… :)))
K xxx
DragonFlyer
(Even if that’s not my body these days lol – maybe it will be when my ‘official years’ are the same as yours…)
K xxx
Karen Betts
Jan this is wonderful. The power strength and energy is great off the image.
The way you are holding the knife is like you are prayer, ” give me the strength” and with the blade in darkness and your face lighter you are over coming the dark and the pain and coming into the light to be able to say NO
This truly hits a nerve with me so a FAv.
Jan Timmons replied
I’m sorry that you can relate on an emotional, experiential level, Karen. But I always love your comments – it’s as if you really see and know.
DragonFlyer
Jan – I just keep on wanting to come back and stare at this image – it makes me feel so so GOOD to do that…. and I’d keep on favouriting it time and time again…
K xxx
DragonFlyer
This is – for me – the image of the perfect woman… as it’s also so so obvious she has total control over that knife… and would only use it – or even ‘move it’ precisely as SHE decided to do…
Jan Timmons replied
Just a symbol, Kallena, for growth and steely reserve.
Georgie Hart
Worth infinitely more than 1,000 words…so powerful Jan. Brilliant focus and lighting…as per Karen’s words, I think the blade works perfectly well in black. This is truly masterful Jan, you ought to be proud…such a show of strength.
Jan Timmons replied
Good. Heartening comment, Georgie.
George Swann
Scary!!!!!!!!
Jan Timmons replied
Good.
DragonFlyer
This image is so so good for me….
Thank you Jan
Brian Carey
Great shot Jan. Lots of drama and very creative!
Jan Timmons replied
Kind of you, Brian. Now, watch your step!
Joanne Bradley
Oooooooh! Jan, how exciting! This image is greatly crafted and so vast in interpretation! Well done!
Jan Timmons replied
Great comment, Joanne. Thank you.
Stan Wojtaszek
Super. Very dramatic image, Jan. The off centre subject adds to the effect.
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you for the energizing words, Stansies!
Al Bourassa
Amazing and brilliant Jan!
Jan Timmons replied
So good to read your comment, Al. Appreciate your encouragement.
Sharon Johnstone
Very powerful work, stunning Jan!!!!
Jan Timmons replied
Your visit and comment mean a lot, Sharon. Thank you.
EchoNorth
Jan, this is an amazing, powerful self portrait. Brilliant idea, dramatically executed, and an obvious fave :)
Jan Timmons replied
Love your work, and the recent Outreach is a beautiful use of negative space and soft dof.
Megan Martin
WOW! Awesome powerful shot Jan! Love the DOF!!!
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you, Megan. I was just admiring your shot of your roomie. Great portrait!
Veronica Schultz
Fantastic work!
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you, Veronica.
Laurie Search
Very powerful, wonderful work!
Jan Timmons replied
I appreciate the encouragement, Laurie. I admire your work.
Karen Betts
Hi Jan, PLEASE do not be sorry that your image makes me feel things and how i enturpert your image yes holds something for me in it. But for me this is what i love about looking at images, pictures the world around us they make me see, feel sense somethings, just how i work in my head and soul. I also see in images if someone may say something i suddenly get a image flash up on a screen in my head or minds eye, it is just how I work, Simon thinks it brillant to throw a word or sentence at me that will have me laughing out loud as others look at me blankly.. while i hae the most ridiclious image flashing in my head. Im glad I seem to be able to see and know. I look forward to your other experiments and works.
have you thought about adding it intothe challenge may bein woman photographer a self portrait, or you may have to look as may have the group wrong, but a stunning image and love looking at it, the strength of protecting yourself and I know now who i am and what i will allow. Simply brillant.
Jan Timmons replied
I would enjoy hearing you laugh and see that ridiculous image that flashes in your mind. Could you send a recording of your laugh?
Photopoet2
Jan,
The power is both in your eyes and hands. Having the face “muted” creates a desire in the viewer to know the mysterious woman. The image is evocative and the off center figure adds to the title.
The image provokes the viewer to ask questions. A photo with an emotional appeal must engage the viewer and this image definitely demands engagement. You can not be passive when viewing your photo.
Wonderful use of light, dof, and capturing something beyond a simple photo.
Linda (photopoet2)
Jan Timmons replied
What a wonderful comment, Linda. I am touched and energized and all sorts of feelings. I look forward to your writing course!
Ksparrow
A full day of attempts was well worth the outcome I think!! Powerful image and story here.
Jan Timmons replied
I’m glad you think so! Thank you.
Cherax
Remind me to never give a negative comment.
Excellent provocative picture.
Jan Timmons replied
You have; you and I survived. Thanks, my dear crustacean.
How goes the frozen shoulder?
Darryl Davis
WOW!! What an incredible, INCREDIBLE image. I guess I am supposed to see the knife in perfect clarity taking up so much of the frame, but I just keep seeing the eyes, the strength, the pose, the hair. So much emotion. So much feeling. WOW!
Jan Timmons replied
Thanks for the energizing comment, Darryl. I look forward to a time when you post. (I spent months watching and learning here before posting, and those photos have long since been deleted.)
Harry Oldmeadow
Hey, remind me not to annoy you Jan! Spectacular shot — so dramatic, perfect lighting, superb composition. Great work!!!
Jan Timmons replied
I plan to reshoot to get more glint and effect, but thank you, Harry. I think it’s safe enough for you to visit Alaska some day. I hold you and your photos in high esteem.
Tainia Finlay
Awesome self protrait! You GO gurl!!!
Jan Timmons replied
Aw, thank you, Tania.
en-joy
What a powerful pic!
Unimaginable what it takes until we learn to say no!!!!
Sometimes I dream of confrontating someone who hurt me with a knif like that, so that he will never ever mess with me or anybody else again. Never!
Jan Timmons replied
I’m sorry for your pain. We don’t want to ruin the rest of our lives, but learn that now we can say no.
chijude
Powerful, dramatic, and artistic. Some combination girl … especially in a self-portrait. Appreciate the symbolism … and held out in strength, in defence, rather than attack.
Jan Timmons replied
Precisely, Judy. Good eye and understanding.
hsien-ku
good for you lady!
here you are both damsel in distress and knight in shining armour.
the rescue never comes so sooner or later you have to stand up and fight.
keep surviving.
a strong and courageous artwork
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you. Kallena has been a good influence on self-expression.
Richard Stanley
Wow Jan – that’s some image! I wasn’t aware of this aspect of you.
Jan Timmons replied
The warrior with a knife, heh.
Ronald Rockman
Wonderful composition
Cheers
Rock
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you very much, Rock.
OldBirch
Fabulous shot. Your message comes through, loud and clear. And the technical aspects of the shot are excellent. Lovely focus on the knife and hands, perfect oof on you. Extremely well done. Kept me up late thinking about it. Seriously.
Jan Timmons replied
A serious response, then. I hope your life thus far has been mostly free of travail, C.
Trish O'Brien
Jan I went to check the images for the challenge and see you have removed this one – please consider putting it back, you are a strong contender for the winning image! I could be cheeky and just put the vote in, but it would be more fair for the others if its still there.
Jan Timmons replied
Appreciate the opportunity you afforded to stretch, Trish. I might not have had a go at a self portrait for a long time.
Roka
Wow, Jan. What an amazingly provocative and powerful image. It is simply stunning. In that…it stunned me. It struck something very deep inside me and I just sat here and started to cry. Top of my faves!
Jan Timmons replied
I’m touched by your response. I hope it’s empathy and not experience, Roka.
Roka
Sort of both, Jan. Not so much personally – but immediate family and very close friends – have survived beautifully. The image really did resonate with me… in fact, when I’m on my own computer… I will forward this page to 3 people in particular. Thank you for creating such a masterpiece!
Jan Timmons replied
If it helps anyone not to feel alone, then that’s good, Roka. Thank you.
Rick & Deb Larson
WOW Jan … this is so POWERFUL ... shows control and confidence, well done!! (So this is what you were working on when you bmailed?? It sends a powerful message). Take Care dear friend ~ Deb ~ ☺
Jan Timmons replied
Thanks, Deb. I did have to work on it quite awhile. The inflatable moose stand-in on which I focused kept moving.
Steve Sharp
Well I’m not arguing with you! Great image – would make a good avatar too.
Jan Timmons replied
Heh. It’s just a symbol, Steve. Appreciate your encouragement. What, a sort of Joan-of-Arc avatar?!
Rick & Deb Larson
LOL Jan … the inflatable moose huh … did you give it too much bull? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist). Take Care ~ Deb ~ ☺
Jan Timmons replied
Heh. You’re a nut.
Patty Boyte
What can I say…raw, strong, real and oh so honest! I love the statement you make with this shot Jan, the meaning invokes a tearful smile and a desire to shout “Hell yes, you can say NO”!
I’m touched by your statement about Bonnie, it reminds me of the many times in my life I wished I had a sister.
Jan Timmons replied
Ah, Patty. Thank you. I’m sorry that you didn’t have a sister. D’ya think it’s too late to adopt one another then?
Lenka
Jan, you’ve made it perfect. Nothing less. Well composed, dramatic tonality, works great in B&W (color would be just distracting here!). Lot of energy, self-consciousness, proud, strong, woman who knows a lot… And very different of what I’ve seen from you till know; if this is off your comfort zone, you should do it more often :) You’ve got a lot of comments and well deserved – this has so much impact!
Jan Timmons replied
Yes, you’re right, Lenka. It is far from my comfort zone, yet also a bit of a relief. I appreciate your encouragement very much.
urmysunshine
Whoa- I am thoroughly moved (takes a lot, I’m a hard hearted woman)
AND
enthralled~
Jan Timmons replied
Right. You’re hard-hearted. Just ask anyone. Sheesh.
Karen Tillotson
Fantastic image my friend…you have knocked my socks off!
Jan Timmons replied
Does that mean your feet feel chilly? Thanks, Karen. It’s a start.
sonjas
Fantastic work.
jillijude1
POWERFUL. HUGS xxx
Patty Boyte
Nope, never too late, thanks and love to you Sis.
Soxy Fleming
this is a great picture as everyone else has said!
Jan Timmons replied
Just has a wee bit of emotion in it. Never realized how difficult SPs could be.
KarenKSmith
WOW this is brilliant, powerful and an excellent piece of art!
Jan Timmons replied
That is very kind of you to write, Karen.
Jan Timmons replied
And happy birthday!
Jean M. Laffitau
Strong and excellent bw shot!
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you, Jean.
whalegeek
Hello, Wonder Woman! WOW, this is powerful. I applaud you on creating such a dramatic self portrait. From one who despises having her photo taken, it seems that you went out on a limb to create this work (or perhaps you aren’t as hung up on self portraits as I am). I like it, particularly the black and white image. That one really sings with emotion and tension. What I’d like to know are your stories behind your art, or at least I think I do. :-))) Warm wishes to you, Jan!
Jan Timmons replied
No, no, notice the shallow dof? Does that look like someone who likes taking her own photo? Or being in one? Heh. “Emotion and tension” – you’ve got the essence to the stories right there. Now I’m starting anew. Thank you for your kind, understanding words.
A.M. Ruttle
Hi Jan, I keep trying to frame something to let you know how much different power this exudes. Since I’ve waited to actually type anything, everyone above has said so much already. The part that gets me is the power of bringing nightmares into the light of day and the healing power of that. Big hugs, continue on your journey in good company and with your deep well of strength always there for you!
Jan Timmons replied
Your hearteningly warm response comes at just the perfect time. I’d begun to wonder what the heck I was doing after all these decades of secrets and silence. Thank you. I hope this doesn’t resonate on a personal note; so many of us exist.
A.M. Ruttle
and p.s., the image you have chosen after all your experiments is stunning, in every detail!
DJ LeMay
BRAVO my dear!! this is indeed an image with a message… coming thru quite clearly! Awesome job!
Jan Timmons replied
Aw, DJ. Will respond to your sad email today.
Sharon Mau
It is a profound self portrait Jan, and your page is a good read. There remains so much mystery as I have no idea what this is all about. I discovered this as I was exploring your wonderful website, with a link I found on your fabulous Moose shot.
Let’s see it in the Alaska group as well.
Jan Timmons replied
Kind of you to visit my website and to circle back here, Sharon. Thank you.
danielklaas
Brilliant work. Wonderful dof, and a strong B&W.
Jan Timmons replied
Thank you. I admire your brilliant work!
Angel Perry
Oh WOW Jan!!!! This is fantastic! So powerful and spot on! All your hard work on this was well worth it! Well done!
Jan Timmons replied
That means a lot to me, Angel. Thank you!
Tatiana R
Great work here Jan, very impressive!
sharath
great composition! love the lighting and focus point
belle2593
This is so powerful, really.
The title goes so well with it.
JimFilmer
great strength and focus…. excellent DoF adds to the impact
Jan Timmons replied
Appreciate your viewing and encouragement, Jim.
Barbara Brown
Fantastic piece Jan!
Jan Timmons replied
My first attempt with emotion in a photo, Barbara. Thank you.
Lenka
This is really wonderful work, it continues to fascinate me, one of the works I come back to look at…
rubyjo
woman! are you reading my mind right now??? im shaking my head because your photos are hitting home. awesome seems too shallow a word…
Mary Campbell 24 days ago
I see this and think several things, first great image much emotional connectivity to the power and strength it offers. Yet, also a bit scary as to it’s violent nature and what emotions could cause such a defensive pose. I think women who lived trough a violent relationship might see it as a standing up and thus a lot of empathy to the subject matter. Creative as a photographer to illuminate such a subject, and good execution.
hultcraft 22 days ago
Jan, this is stunning. I am inspired and energized to see the growth in you and your work – and this portrait stands out in breathtaking clarity.
Deri Dority 20 days ago
Brilliant and moving as well.
Deri
mmargot 19 days ago
Samurai.
The brush and the sword.
Strength from within.
A refined and deceptive spareness.
I don’t know you, but perhaps I do now. Bravo!
MuscularTeeth
17 days ago
really good.
blamo 15 days ago
very powerful
Simon Whittaker 5 days ago
I love this, a fav for me.
madworld 5 days ago
Stunning work….Id love a sword like that
sendao 2 days ago
outstanding work my friend!!!