Now I can say no

Jan Timmons

Now I can say no

Dealing with my own demons

Dedicated to all survivors
(You may borrow this, if it helps, or buy with very little markup beyond RB’s costs.)

Nikon D200 and a Nikkor 50mm f/1.4 lens, 50mm, f/1.8 and 1/250 sec, -0.3ev, IS0 100, spot metering, Manfrotto tripod. Converted from RAW (12 bit) to jpeg using Nikon’s Capture NX 2.2.
Self portrait. Sought advice, after almost a full day’s attempts, about the lighting.

Freer than I know

Now I can say no belongs to the following groups:

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Now I can say no by Jan Timmons
Now I can say no by Jan Timmons
  • Barbara Burkhardt

    Barbara Burkhardt

    Jan what art – WOW !!
    ... (is that a knife?)

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Hi Barbara, it’s a rather large Henckels chef’s knife, perfect for carving up tofu and miscreants.

  • Vasile Stan

    Vasile Stan

    This is truly remarkable Jan.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    You’re once again encouraging and kind, Vasile.

  • rodeorose

    rodeorose

    Powerful Jan!..

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you. I still admire youru Going Gentle Into That Good Night, as a tribute and a great timing and photo.

  • Sylvia Gonzales

    Sylvia Gonzales

    Love It Jan!!!! Awesome Image!!!! : )

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thanks for your enthusiasm, Sylvia. I’ve just been admiring some of your work.

  • nadine henley

    nadine henley

    well, you’ve taken my breath away, jan. Amazing self-portrait.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Your comment means a lot to me, Nadine.

  • Barbara Burkhardt

    Barbara Burkhardt

    This image is so strong! You are strong!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Now, yes.

  • BarbaraManis

    BarbaraManis

    This is a beautiful piece of artwork, Jan!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I appreciate your encouragement, Barbara.

  • Scott  d'Almeida

    Scott d'Almeida

    outstanding,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you, Scott.

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    I truly love you – my friend! Superb power!
    K xxx

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I knew what I wanted this morning, Kallena, but it took almost all day to this evening, and the light still doesn’t gleam enough on the knife.
    But hey, here’s to us, eh?

  • Clare Colins

    Clare Colins

    Very powerful image! Go girl!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    You, too, Clare.

  • Joyce Dickens, IPA

    Joyce Dickens,...

    Dynamic and intense Jan, and so well done… JD

  • Jan Timmons replied

    High praise from a pro, Joyce. Appreciate the energizing comment.

  • WatscapePhoto

    WatscapePhoto

    Empowerment, eh? Terrific, terrifying and brilliant, Jan.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Finally, yes. Thanks, Steven.

  • Barbara Burkhardt

    Barbara Burkhardt

    “perfect for carving up tofu and miscreants” .. a vegetarian can carve up miscreants as long as they don’t eat them right? LOL Glad you got the shot you wanted after all that work.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Almost. Might need an angle on the tofu knife, or a scythe, perhaps. Thanks, Barbara. Have you arrived home yet? Your Lakes of the Rockies calendar is jsut full of beautiful photos.

  • Barbara Burkhardt

    Barbara Burkhardt

    and here I was working on the light on the lake!! LOL Jan thanks for your favourable comments on Magic on Moraine Lake series … and yes back home to bad dust storms on the eastern board of the country from Sydney to the tropics!

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    You bet Jan – Here’s to us :D

  • Steve  Buffington

    Steve Buffington

    Cool!—Steve

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you, Steve.

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    And Jan – I feel like you’ve made the perfect self-portrait for me too – I could never make an image that portrays ME NOW than this… :)))
    K xxx

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    (Even if that’s not my body these days lol – maybe it will be when my ‘official years’ are the same as yours…)
    K xxx

  • Karen  Betts

    Karen Betts

    Jan this is wonderful. The power strength and energy is great off the image.
    The way you are holding the knife is like you are prayer, ” give me the strength” and with the blade in darkness and your face lighter you are over coming the dark and the pain and coming into the light to be able to say NO
    This truly hits a nerve with me so a FAv.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I’m sorry that you can relate on an emotional, experiential level, Karen. But I always love your comments – it’s as if you really see and know.

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    Jan – I just keep on wanting to come back and stare at this image – it makes me feel so so GOOD to do that…. and I’d keep on favouriting it time and time again…
    K xxx

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    This is – for me – the image of the perfect woman… as it’s also so so obvious she has total control over that knife… and would only use it – or even ‘move it’ precisely as SHE decided to do…

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Just a symbol, Kallena, for growth and steely reserve.

  • Georgie Hart

    Georgie Hart

    Worth infinitely more than 1,000 words…so powerful Jan. Brilliant focus and lighting…as per Karen’s words, I think the blade works perfectly well in black. This is truly masterful Jan, you ought to be proud…such a show of strength.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Good. Heartening comment, Georgie.

  • George Swann

    George Swann

    Scary!!!!!!!!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Good.

  • DragonFlyer

    DragonFlyer

    This image is so so good for me….

    Thank you Jan

  • Brian Carey

    Brian Carey

    Great shot Jan. Lots of drama and very creative!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Kind of you, Brian. Now, watch your step!

  • Joanne  Bradley

    Joanne Bradley

    Oooooooh! Jan, how exciting! This image is greatly crafted and so vast in interpretation! Well done!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Great comment, Joanne. Thank you.

  • Stan Wojtaszek

    Stan Wojtaszek

    Super. Very dramatic image, Jan. The off centre subject adds to the effect.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you for the energizing words, Stansies!

  • Al Bourassa

    Al Bourassa

    Amazing and brilliant Jan!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    So good to read your comment, Al. Appreciate your encouragement.

  • Sharon Johnstone

    Sharon Johnstone

    Very powerful work, stunning Jan!!!!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Your visit and comment mean a lot, Sharon. Thank you.

  • EchoNorth

    EchoNorth

    Jan, this is an amazing, powerful self portrait. Brilliant idea, dramatically executed, and an obvious fave :)

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Love your work, and the recent Outreach is a beautiful use of negative space and soft dof.

  • Megan Martin

    Megan Martin

    WOW! Awesome powerful shot Jan! Love the DOF!!!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you, Megan. I was just admiring your shot of your roomie. Great portrait!

  • Veronica Schultz

    Veronica Schultz

    Fantastic work!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you, Veronica.

  • Laurie Search

    Laurie Search

    Very powerful, wonderful work!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I appreciate the encouragement, Laurie. I admire your work.

  • Karen  Betts

    Karen Betts

    Hi Jan, PLEASE do not be sorry that your image makes me feel things and how i enturpert your image yes holds something for me in it. But for me this is what i love about looking at images, pictures the world around us they make me see, feel sense somethings, just how i work in my head and soul. I also see in images if someone may say something i suddenly get a image flash up on a screen in my head or minds eye, it is just how I work, Simon thinks it brillant to throw a word or sentence at me that will have me laughing out loud as others look at me blankly.. while i hae the most ridiclious image flashing in my head. Im glad I seem to be able to see and know. I look forward to your other experiments and works.
    have you thought about adding it intothe challenge may bein woman photographer a self portrait, or you may have to look as may have the group wrong, but a stunning image and love looking at it, the strength of protecting yourself and I know now who i am and what i will allow. Simply brillant.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I would enjoy hearing you laugh and see that ridiculous image that flashes in your mind. Could you send a recording of your laugh?

  • Photopoet2

    Photopoet2

    Jan,

    The power is both in your eyes and hands. Having the face “muted” creates a desire in the viewer to know the mysterious woman. The image is evocative and the off center figure adds to the title.

    The image provokes the viewer to ask questions. A photo with an emotional appeal must engage the viewer and this image definitely demands engagement. You can not be passive when viewing your photo.

    Wonderful use of light, dof, and capturing something beyond a simple photo.

    Linda (photopoet2)

  • Jan Timmons replied

    What a wonderful comment, Linda. I am touched and energized and all sorts of feelings. I look forward to your writing course!

  • Ksparrow

    Ksparrow

    A full day of attempts was well worth the outcome I think!! Powerful image and story here.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I’m glad you think so! Thank you.

  • Cherax

    Cherax

    Remind me to never give a negative comment.
    Excellent provocative picture.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    You have; you and I survived. Thanks, my dear crustacean.
    How goes the frozen shoulder?

  • Darryl Davis

    Darryl Davis

    WOW!! What an incredible, INCREDIBLE image. I guess I am supposed to see the knife in perfect clarity taking up so much of the frame, but I just keep seeing the eyes, the strength, the pose, the hair. So much emotion. So much feeling. WOW!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thanks for the energizing comment, Darryl. I look forward to a time when you post. (I spent months watching and learning here before posting, and those photos have long since been deleted.)

  • Harry Oldmeadow

    Harry Oldmeadow

    Hey, remind me not to annoy you Jan! Spectacular shot — so dramatic, perfect lighting, superb composition. Great work!!!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I plan to reshoot to get more glint and effect, but thank you, Harry. I think it’s safe enough for you to visit Alaska some day. I hold you and your photos in high esteem.

  • Tainia Finlay

    Tainia Finlay

    Awesome self protrait! You GO gurl!!!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Aw, thank you, Tania.

  • en-joy

    en-joy

    What a powerful pic!
    Unimaginable what it takes until we learn to say no!!!!
    Sometimes I dream of confrontating someone who hurt me with a knif like that, so that he will never ever mess with me or anybody else again. Never!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I’m sorry for your pain. We don’t want to ruin the rest of our lives, but learn that now we can say no.

  • chijude

    chijude

    Powerful, dramatic, and artistic. Some combination girl … especially in a self-portrait. Appreciate the symbolism … and held out in strength, in defence, rather than attack.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Precisely, Judy. Good eye and understanding.

  • hsien-ku

    hsien-ku

    good for you lady!
    here you are both damsel in distress and knight in shining armour.
    the rescue never comes so sooner or later you have to stand up and fight.
    keep surviving.
    a strong and courageous artwork

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you. Kallena has been a good influence on self-expression.

  • Richard  Stanley

    Richard Stanley

    Wow Jan – that’s some image! I wasn’t aware of this aspect of you.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    The warrior with a knife, heh.

  • Ronald Rockman

    Ronald Rockman

    Wonderful composition
    Cheers
    Rock

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you very much, Rock.

  • OldBirch

    OldBirch

    Fabulous shot. Your message comes through, loud and clear. And the technical aspects of the shot are excellent. Lovely focus on the knife and hands, perfect oof on you. Extremely well done. Kept me up late thinking about it. Seriously.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    A serious response, then. I hope your life thus far has been mostly free of travail, C.

  • Trish O'Brien

    Trish O'Brien

    Jan I went to check the images for the challenge and see you have removed this one – please consider putting it back, you are a strong contender for the winning image! I could be cheeky and just put the vote in, but it would be more fair for the others if its still there.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Appreciate the opportunity you afforded to stretch, Trish. I might not have had a go at a self portrait for a long time.

  • Roka

    Roka

    Wow, Jan. What an amazingly provocative and powerful image. It is simply stunning. In that…it stunned me. It struck something very deep inside me and I just sat here and started to cry. Top of my faves!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    I’m touched by your response. I hope it’s empathy and not experience, Roka.

  • Roka

    Roka

    Sort of both, Jan. Not so much personally – but immediate family and very close friends – have survived beautifully. The image really did resonate with me… in fact, when I’m on my own computer… I will forward this page to 3 people in particular. Thank you for creating such a masterpiece!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    If it helps anyone not to feel alone, then that’s good, Roka. Thank you.

  • Rick & Deb Larson

    Rick & Deb Larson

    WOW Jan … this is so POWERFUL ... shows control and confidence, well done!! (So this is what you were working on when you bmailed?? It sends a powerful message). Take Care dear friend ~ Deb ~ ☺

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thanks, Deb. I did have to work on it quite awhile. The inflatable moose stand-in on which I focused kept moving.

  • Steve Sharp

    Steve Sharp

    Well I’m not arguing with you! Great image – would make a good avatar too.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Heh. It’s just a symbol, Steve. Appreciate your encouragement. What, a sort of Joan-of-Arc avatar?!

  • Rick & Deb Larson

    Rick & Deb Larson

    LOL Jan … the inflatable moose huh … did you give it too much bull? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist). Take Care ~ Deb ~ ☺

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Heh. You’re a nut.

  • Patty Boyte

    Patty Boyte

    What can I say…raw, strong, real and oh so honest! I love the statement you make with this shot Jan, the meaning invokes a tearful smile and a desire to shout “Hell yes, you can say NO”!

    I’m touched by your statement about Bonnie, it reminds me of the many times in my life I wished I had a sister.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Ah, Patty. Thank you. I’m sorry that you didn’t have a sister. D’ya think it’s too late to adopt one another then?

  • Lenka

    Lenka

    Jan, you’ve made it perfect. Nothing less. Well composed, dramatic tonality, works great in B&W (color would be just distracting here!). Lot of energy, self-consciousness, proud, strong, woman who knows a lot… And very different of what I’ve seen from you till know; if this is off your comfort zone, you should do it more often :) You’ve got a lot of comments and well deserved – this has so much impact!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Yes, you’re right, Lenka. It is far from my comfort zone, yet also a bit of a relief. I appreciate your encouragement very much.

  • urmysunshine

    urmysunshine

    Whoa- I am thoroughly moved (takes a lot, I’m a hard hearted woman)
    AND
    enthralled~

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Right. You’re hard-hearted. Just ask anyone. Sheesh.

  • Karen  Tillotson

    Karen Tillotson

    Fantastic image my friend…you have knocked my socks off!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Does that mean your feet feel chilly? Thanks, Karen. It’s a start.

  • sonjas

    sonjas

    Fantastic work.

  • jillijude1

    jillijude1

    POWERFUL. HUGS xxx

  • Patty Boyte

    Patty Boyte

    Nope, never too late, thanks and love to you Sis.

  • Soxy Fleming

    Soxy Fleming

    this is a great picture as everyone else has said!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Just has a wee bit of emotion in it. Never realized how difficult SPs could be.

  • KarenKSmith

    KarenKSmith

    WOW this is brilliant, powerful and an excellent piece of art!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    That is very kind of you to write, Karen.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    And happy birthday!

  • Jean M. Laffitau

    Jean M. Laffitau

    Strong and excellent bw shot!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you, Jean.

  • whalegeek

    whalegeek

    Hello, Wonder Woman! WOW, this is powerful. I applaud you on creating such a dramatic self portrait. From one who despises having her photo taken, it seems that you went out on a limb to create this work (or perhaps you aren’t as hung up on self portraits as I am). I like it, particularly the black and white image. That one really sings with emotion and tension. What I’d like to know are your stories behind your art, or at least I think I do. :-))) Warm wishes to you, Jan!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    No, no, notice the shallow dof? Does that look like someone who likes taking her own photo? Or being in one? Heh. “Emotion and tension” – you’ve got the essence to the stories right there. Now I’m starting anew. Thank you for your kind, understanding words.

  • A.M. Ruttle

    A.M. Ruttle

    Hi Jan, I keep trying to frame something to let you know how much different power this exudes. Since I’ve waited to actually type anything, everyone above has said so much already. The part that gets me is the power of bringing nightmares into the light of day and the healing power of that. Big hugs, continue on your journey in good company and with your deep well of strength always there for you!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Your hearteningly warm response comes at just the perfect time. I’d begun to wonder what the heck I was doing after all these decades of secrets and silence. Thank you. I hope this doesn’t resonate on a personal note; so many of us exist.

  • A.M. Ruttle

    A.M. Ruttle

    and p.s., the image you have chosen after all your experiments is stunning, in every detail!

  • DJ LeMay

    DJ LeMay

    BRAVO my dear!! this is indeed an image with a message… coming thru quite clearly! Awesome job!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Aw, DJ. Will respond to your sad email today.

  • Sharon Mau

    Sharon Mau

    It is a profound self portrait Jan, and your page is a good read. There remains so much mystery as I have no idea what this is all about. I discovered this as I was exploring your wonderful website, with a link I found on your fabulous Moose shot.
    Let’s see it in the Alaska group as well.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Kind of you to visit my website and to circle back here, Sharon. Thank you.

  • danielklaas

    danielklaas

    Brilliant work. Wonderful dof, and a strong B&W.

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Thank you. I admire your brilliant work!

  • Angel Perry

    Angel Perry

    Oh WOW Jan!!!! This is fantastic! So powerful and spot on! All your hard work on this was well worth it! Well done!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    That means a lot to me, Angel. Thank you!

  • Tatiana R

    Tatiana R

    Great work here Jan, very impressive!

  • sharath

    sharath

    great composition! love the lighting and focus point

  • belle2593

    belle2593

    This is so powerful, really.
    The title goes so well with it.

  • JimFilmer

    JimFilmer

    great strength and focus…. excellent DoF adds to the impact

  • Jan Timmons replied

    Appreciate your viewing and encouragement, Jim.

  • Barbara  Brown

    Barbara Brown

    Fantastic piece Jan!

  • Jan Timmons replied

    My first attempt with emotion in a photo, Barbara. Thank you.

  • Lenka

    Lenka

    This is really wonderful work, it continues to fascinate me, one of the works I come back to look at…

  • rubyjo

    rubyjo

    woman! are you reading my mind right now??? im shaking my head because your photos are hitting home. awesome seems too shallow a word…

  • Mary Campbell

    Mary Campbell 24 days ago

    I see this and think several things, first great image much emotional connectivity to the power and strength it offers. Yet, also a bit scary as to it’s violent nature and what emotions could cause such a defensive pose. I think women who lived trough a violent relationship might see it as a standing up and thus a lot of empathy to the subject matter. Creative as a photographer to illuminate such a subject, and good execution.

  • hultcraft

    hultcraft 22 days ago

    Jan, this is stunning. I am inspired and energized to see the growth in you and your work – and this portrait stands out in breathtaking clarity.

  • Deri Dority

    Deri Dority 20 days ago

    Brilliant and moving as well.
    Deri

  • mmargot

    mmargot 19 days ago

    Samurai.
    The brush and the sword.
    Strength from within.
    A refined and deceptive spareness.
    I don’t know you, but perhaps I do now. Bravo!

  • MuscularTeeth

    MuscularTeethVoted Most Helpful Bubbler 17 days ago

    really good.

  • blamo

    blamo 15 days ago

    very powerful

  • Simon Whittaker

    Simon Whittaker 5 days ago

    I love this, a fav for me.

  • madworld

    madworld 5 days ago

    Stunning work….Id love a sword like that

  • sendao

    sendao 2 days ago

    outstanding work my friend!!!

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