It crawled in

Solar Zorra
Author: Solar Zorra
Word Count: 386
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It crawled in

It crawled in belongs to the following groups:

Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Up & Coming Writers, WMG and Writers Edge

Pick up, pick up, pickup. Oh, please Nick, pick up.

Hello?

Oh, thank God……..you gotta help me.

Carly is that you? It’s 3:00 in the morning, what’s going on?

Tears streamed down Carly’s face as she tried to speak while hysterically crying at the same time. This night was supposed to be a special one, she was celebrating her twenty fifth birthday.

It’s in my back seat, Nick help me. It’s back there.

What? What’s back there? Where are you?

In the dark, I’m somewhere in the dark and it’s in my back seat. Ohhhh….please help me.

Nick could hear the trembling in her voice; it wasn’t like her to be afraid of anything. Since they were kids, she was always the one to scare him, even though she was only two years older. She had him scared to death of the boogieman since he could remember, he still got spooked from horror movies, and she still played on his fears.

If this is a joke Carly, it’s not funny dude, it’s late and I have to get up early tomorrow.

Noooo, I can’t move, help me. I just stopped at the stop sign on that long dirt road home from Jen’s house and it crawled in my fucking car. I panicked and drove left out into the cornfields and now I’m lost. It’s dark Nick, I don’t know what to do.

How did something crawl in your car? What are you talking about? Like some kind of animal or what?

It opened the back door and crawled in. I can hear it breathing, I think it’s going to eat me………..NICK……..

It? What do you mean it? Carly?.........Carly?..........answer me! Can you hear me?

There was only silence. Nicked called the police but all he could tell them was that she was in a cornfield somewhere. He sat frozen in fear. He thought back to all the nights he had stayed up with the lights on terrified because of one of Carly’s stupid made up stories. He prayed this was all a joke.

Several days later her car was found in the middle of a huge cornfield, but Carly was never found.

It’s been five years and Nick still sleeps with the lights on.

  • red addiction

    red addiction

    OMG! Great reading!

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I truly appreciate your taking the time to do so. :) SZ

  • Ushna Sardar

    Ushna Sardar

    excellent written SZ! xo

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thanks Ushnaa, and thanks for favoring, it means a lot to me. :) SZ

  • shaneran

    shaneran

    great writing!! I wouldn’t be surprised to see a novel with your name as the author.

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Actually I’m working on that right now, probably not a novel though, maybe just a collection of short stories. I’m just starting the process. Thanks for your encouraging words. :) SZ

  • theyellowfury

    theyellowfury

    Cooooool, who are you gonna make him eat next?

  • Solar Zorra replied

    It’s coming for you simon, be very careful on those dark roads….....just kidding, it likes women, they taste like chicken. :) SZ

  • girlinthestars

    girlinthestars

    great story Janine. I so wanted to know what it was though! you have great dialogue!

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thanks Amy, imagination is usually better than words. My four brothers had me afraid of the boogieman my whole kid life, and never once did they describe him to me…..didn’t have to. :) SZ

  • theyellowfury

    theyellowfury

    Ah but Ms. Zorra, have you forgotten I have no car for him (/her?) to hide in? And anyone who gets on the back of the bike without me noticing would need to have a change of underwear handy.

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Ha! might they shit themselves?

  • theyellowfury

    theyellowfury

    They might indeed ;) if I don’t know they’re there I’ll drive “normally”
    I take a bit more care when I’m responsible for two lives

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Well i think if this thing crawled on the back of your bike it might be you needing a change of underware. ;) SZ

  • Bob Fox

    Bob Fox

    Love the back and forth rhythm of Jen making the scenes and Nick giving the reactions! Very well conceived!

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thanks Bob, her name is Carly though, she was at Jen’s house. ;) SZ

  • Bob Fox

    Bob Fox

    Opps! I hate it when I do that! Confession: I do the same thing in public! Sometimes I’ll remember the wrong name and then have a terrible time ever getting it straight again.

  • Damian

    Damian

    Great atmosphere, very cool!

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thanks for commenting Damian, I appreciate it. :) SZ

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    I was going to toddle off to beddie byes….thanks Janine!!! Will have to de-brief myself first from reading this spine prickling read!! Cool work ! Kudos

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Thanks….........hope this didn’t disturb your beddie bye time. ;) SZ

  • Chanel2

    Chanel2

    This is why I always lock my car doors when I’m driving!
    Good one Solar.

  • Solar Zorra replied

    I travel at night all the time and my interior lights have gone out, electrical problem, that added to my imagination that runs overtime, so…...this story has really been with me quite a while. I swear that thing lives in my back seat. ;) SZ

  • Rowland Jones

    Rowland Jones

    Now this I like…. excellent

  • Solar Zorra replied

    So you like em creepy, huh! Thanks you, I appreciate your comments. :) SZ

  • sinX

    sinX

    girl you and your stories….are just to intimidating, which is good. keep them horror shorts coming

  • Solar Zorra replied

    Oh I will, for some reason they just come so easy. Thanks for reading. :) SZ

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