What have I become?

I had somewhere to go, my side blinders securely affixed to my face. My personal mission implanted in my brain, the coordinates pre determined, sunglasses, purse, keys…blast off.

My car started predictably, best car I’ve ever owned, I even named her Bianca years ago…..yeah, she’s white just like me, plain vanilla. We’re both big, comfortable, reliable and not very fuel-efficient. We go everywhere together, she’s not big on conversation though, I like that.

Our first stop is the grocery store. As we pull in the parking lot a huge storm suddenly decides to burst over us like a giant water balloon. I sit there like a dog locked in a cage, impatiently whining to be set free. But it pours, and Bianca laughs because she knows my umbrella is nice and dry inside of her trunk.

It’s hot out so she gently cools me to the right temperature. I turn the wipers off so I don’t have to see where I can’t go. I have to turn the music up to drown out the pitter, pitter, pitter on the roof. This is starting to feel like my own personal version of Chinese water torture. Then Bianca wheezes a bit from being in park too long with the air running and I sympathize, I feel sorry for her and turn the ignition off.

Now I’m sitting in a Dutch oven with steamed windows, no music, and just the super loud pitter, pitter, pitter on the roof. I’m staring to feel clammy. I younger woman pulls up next to me in a much newer white car; I rub a circle in the window to see her. She’s not white, not plain at all, beautiful in fact. She doesn’t hesitate, jumps out of her car and walks calmly into the store.

So I think to myself…..Geez, I must look like an idiot, sitting in my fogged up car, waiting like an old fool that’s worried about ……..what? getting a little wet. Oh, God what have I become?

So I jump out, slam the door and walk proudly in the rain into the store. I am inside now shaking off the rain I so valiantly wear as my symbol of normalcy.

Except now I realize I don’t have my purse…… and my keys are in my purse…… that I just locked inside my car.

I look out into the parking lot; Bianca’s laughing so hard tears are rolling down her headlights.

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