I'm not greedy!

Author: Solar Zorra
Word Count: 359
previous browse writing next

I'm not greedy!

Written for Twisted tales, Star twister 47-Catastrophe

I'm not greedy! belongs to the following groups:

Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales, WMG and Writers Edge

So Sam, or whatever your name is, I’m just gonna call you Sam. All I need you to do is hotwire the garbage disposal so when the Mrs. gets her hands all soaking wet and flips the switch then “Zzzzing”, I’m looking at half a million bucks. And you my friend, get two thousand of it just for screwing with a few wires.

I don’t know, man I’ve never killed anyone before. Not that I don’t need the money, but are you sure you want to bump off your old lady like that?

Oh hell, we’ve been married so long I couldn’t pick her out of a crowd. This woman makes the same damn boring meals week after week. And clean, good god, everything has to be spotless…nags at me constantly to pick up my dirty clothes, pick up my beer cans, don’t eat sandwiches in bed. I can’t take it any more.

Seems you live in a pretty nice house. I’ll bet you worked your ass off while she was a stay at home Mom. Now that could really get annoying.

Well actually she’s a registered nurse, makes more money than I do. She worked double shifts while the kids were growing up so that they could go to private school. She thinks she’s damn Superwoman or something.

So you say you tricked her into upping your life insurance policies , why did she fall for that?

I convinced her to make my policy for one million, I smoke and drink a lot, told her I probably didn’t have long. But we only increased hers to a half a million. Hey, I’m not greedy, that’s all I need. I left the side door open just fix up the wires in the kitchen. Here’s the money, now go.

Okay, I’ll do it.

What a catastrophe! She must be working late. He left the door wide open, the electricity’s out, is that a screwdriver still on the counter? Why do I smell gas? here’s my lighter, flick……………… BAMMMM!!!

I’m sorry for your loss Mrs…., sorry I didn’t get your name. You can call me Sam.

girlinthestars

perfect! fantastic read Janine… love your style!
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks Amy, I enjoyed writing this one, blowing an ignorant man up is so much fun!! :) SZ
Bob Fox

A Twilight Zone sort of ending. Eh? Good story! Are you going to enter it in TTST47?
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you Bob, and yes I just put in in there. :) SZ
Matt Penfold

Yep somehow I just knew it was going to end with at least one dead bloke, they’re nasty characters aren’t they? ;-)

I see a bit of a theme here, (make note to self: don’t piss off Ms Zorra) nice writing Janine.
Solar Zorra replied

I knew you would appreciate this story Matt! just stirring the possum a bit. Ya know I ran into my ex-husband the other day….so I backed up and ran him over again! ha ha :) JUST KIDDING! I love the male species, really! :) SZ purrrr
Zolton

Ha ha… good job SZ. : D ‘e got what was comin’ to ‘im!
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks Zolton, I love a happy ending, and now I’ve got Matt good and scared…...Oh, how fun!! ;) SZ
H M Bascom

Great story!
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you, I appreciate your comment. :) SZ
Micky McGuinness

Wham bam thank you Sam!
Solar Zorra replied

Sorry Micky, I missed this comment,A belated thank you! :) SZ
Paul Rees-Jones

Good one.
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks Paul.
Zolton

Congrats from the hosts of Twisted Tales, SZ!!
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you very much, I am honored. I sent you my prompt. :) SZ
shaneran

congratulations!! on your challenge win!!!
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you so much! :) SZ
silverstrummer...

This is a Brilliant read you pull the reader into your story very neat!! Congratulations on your win too well deserved for this writing of yours! – David
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks so much David, I truly appreciate your support. :) SZ
Jim Hall

I feel humbled to be in the company of such twisted story-tellers and readers. Hope it’s catching. I liked it. JH
Solar Zorra

Thank you so much Jim. Come on and jump in on the twisted tales competition each month, it’s not only challenging but fun to see what everyone comes up with. :) SZ
ArcadiaTempest

Friggn great twist!!!!!! Oh she was a very good Sam…. Really love how you styled this one… :)))))
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you, I appreciate you commenting. :) SZ
Dwayne Boyd

Congrats on this one!
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks Dwayne. :) SZ
Navudos

Very nice indeed; made me chuckle at the end. Well done!
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I appreciate it. :) SZ
shaneran

congratulations on being featured on the home page for creative writing!! You are the first author on day one!
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you…what do you mean day one? I don’t know when it starts or ends. :) SZ
EDGYONE

what a clever girl you are. a intertaining read and brilliant ending
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you, I appreciate you commenting. :) SZ
shaneran

ha ha! there isn’t a day one. you were at the top of the list when I clicked the creative writing.
I guess day one i’m thinking more the wall art. So you are the first featured writer. Does that make sense? I just thought it was wonderful that you were featured in the creative writing.!
Steve Strodder...

wow…what do we learn from this? karma is a real thing.

AMAZING peice of writing with a sick little twist at the end that i didnt see coming.

very nice work
kiya

Sorry for being a dill but I just need to double check on the punchline. So the man who bumped off his wife is now killed by a gas leak?

Thought process is written well.

The opening is good but you could also cut down the word count with “Sam? Whaterver. That’s what I’ll call you…” (7) words I guess it depends on the tone you want to begin with. If you want a blunt tone for the beginning, use cutting words and less of them.

Otherwise, a good piece and well done on the win
Solar Zorra replied

reply | report | delete
Solar Zorra less than a minute ago
Actually the punch line is that the man who was supposed to kill his wife killed him instead by turning the gas on in the kitchen, leaving the lights out, and a lighter handy. I write purposely, the opening line was to convey how very little he cared about this guy and to emphasize the name Sam, because it was important in the end. Sorry you didn’t get it, but thanks for commenting. :) SZ
Rowland Jones

Nice story: liked it a lot.
However your comment about ‘blowing an ignorant man up is so much fun’ seems to betray dare I say, a somewhat sexist trait: i.e you didn’t say ‘blowing an ignorant person up is so much fun’!
not all men are bad and not all women are good…..
Solar Zorra replied

Oh….Roland I must explain, it’s a joke amongst us here in twisted tales because my stories tend to do something bad to men, not always though. Matt started it, it’s really just a joke though. I love men. I love my husband, my sons and my grandsons. Thanks for commenting, be assured I am well aware of how good some men can be. I just just blow up the ignorant ones. Ha! ;) SZ
ToniTiger

wow that was awesome I had to read that one to my sister even she says it was a peace of work great job
Solar Zorra replied

Well a big thank you to you and your sister. I truly appreciate your comments. :) SZ
GestianPoet21

Awesome! Reads really easily and well.
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks, I appreciate you commenting. :) SZ
Rowland Jones

OK so I can look forward to reading a story where you blow up a bad woman…...
Rowland (with a W!)
Solar Zorra replied

Sorry Rowland, I apologize for dropping the W. Here is one for you; Olive’s favorite” ;) SZ
TheWanderingBoo

absolutely brilliant, the dark twist at the end was perfect…loved it…
Solar Zorra replied

Thanks Boo.
nnimus3

hahaha that Sam understands my kind of justice
Solar Zorra replied

Hi, sorry it’s taken so long, must have missed your comment. Thanks, and yes justice with a twist. :) Solar
Rhinovangogh

I knew something was up when the comparative insurce amounts were announced. Delightful nonetheless. Cheers, Best, Rhino
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you so much for commenting, I appreciate it. :) Solar
imagyck

Hooked me in right from word one and a great twist! Fantastic.
Solar Zorra replied

Thank you, I truly appreciate you reading and commenting. :) SZ
LadyOtilia

Justice was done:) in a laconic style. If only things worked like that in real life…