A LOT OF LOSERS, AND NO WINNERS

a lot of losers, and no winners…

I need to leave
but where should I go?
and what will I do when I get there?
the dilemmas I FACE
are overwhelming and never-ending
I was in the same position
12 years ago
really even more
it’s really going on 23 years
and what position is that
it’s the screw position
no matter what I do
that is the position that they
always seem to be putting me in
one way or another
they won’t let me have legs
they pretend that is not what they are doing
but it is
they make your sexuality the complete focus of your life
and they punish you either way
if you do your bad
if you don’t your bad
they put you on a plate like a dessert
and when you become stale and unedible
like all desserts eventually do
then you lose your value as a human being
because that is the only thing they will allow you to have
they won’t let you be a normal person
with a good job, financial security, health care, benefits, privacy, good relationships, friends, beliefs, belongings, etc…
not only that but they play with my mind all of the time
and they leave sickness in my body
I am dying
they break my bonds
they keep me from my children and they hurt my children with lies
why do they keep me in a cage?
I don’t know, just because, it is the system
I especially don’t understand
when it hurts others who are innocent,
like my children
why do they think they have the right to abuse me forever?
I don’t know, just because, it is the system
and they do,
that is the truth
the guilt trips never stop
the mind games never stop
the insults never stop
I live in fear and pain all the time, all the time, all the time,
all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time,
all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time,
I am so tired of being me

I wonder if in Mexico
I can squeeze all my loveliness
into a red bikini
and LIE on the beach in the SUN
until a mexican man falls in love with my tonnage
and where in the H.E.L.L. double toothpicks
will I get the energy to be a sugarlump again?
I have already been tortured in a past sugarlump life
in FRANCE
people have no idea what I have been put through
I have been hunted like an animal
and not allowed to have any security
Do I want to be a sugarlump again in Mexico?
however, if I stay here am I not just a sugarlump too?
and a hated one at that
am I going in circles?
yes
am I going crazy?
yes
is everything in my life being devalued?
yes
not only am I just a piece of ‘A’
but I am a fat and old piece of ‘A’
that’s the way they want me to feel
and they win
because they just treat you that way until they make it a reality
a useless old woman in a red suit -
it is a cruel nasty game, with lots of losers
and no winners

JANE Á PARIS

Copyright ©2008 JANE Á PARIS

A LOT OF LOSERS, AND NO WINNERS

JaneAParis

Joined February 2008

Artist's Description

This is about political persecution and abuse. I think it PRETTY much speaks for itself.

Artwork Comments

  • Faizan Qureshi
  • JaneAParis
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