“So, I walk into this bar – right?”

“Oh cool! I love these jokes.”

“This isn’t a joke. This really happened to me.”

“Okay – yeah. Sorry. Keep going.”

“So, I walk into this bar. I’m walking up to the bar feeling a little self-conscious and that’s when I see her.”


“Well, that’s what my story is about.”

“Right. Of course.”

“There’s a live band, and she’s the lead singer.”

“What was the band like?”

“Pretty great actually.”


“So I sit down at the bar and the barman asks me-”

“Why the long face?”

“-what I want to drink.”


“I say ‘I’ll have an overpriced beer thanks mate.’" He pops open a green bottle and places it in front of me.

There are about 20 people in the bar most of them male. There’s a guy sitting at a table next to the stage. He’s drinking a martini. I wonder if he ordered it ‘shaken not stirred’”

“Like James Bond.”

“Yes. “

“Did the martini have olives?”

“This singer – she’s gorgeous. Self confident. Full of life.”

“You mean she was hot?”

“The band starts to play AC/DC – ‘Back in Black’.”


“Yeah that’s what I thought. Even Mr Martini is getting into it. The lead guitarist is going crazy and everyone is having a good time.

And then I realise I’ve seen this singer before.”

“Really? Another pub?”

“No, this was like, my first time in a pub on my own. I’d seen her a couple of hours earlier sitting in this busy place reading a novel. It seemed like a pretty peaceful thing to be able to do. “


“Anyway, then it was over.

She packs up her guitar.

She’s walking up to the bar.

She smiles at me.

I realise I’m staring. So I quickly look away and grunt something inaudible.”

“You were too drunk to talk?”

“Man! No. I’d only had half a beer. You really are missing the point.

So, she puts down her glass and walks away."

“Then what happened?”

“I skulled the rest of my beer and left.”

“Man – that’s not even slightly funny. I have one you’ll love. ‘A horse walks into a bar…’”

© Matthew Dalton

Currently unavailable for purchase

“This isn’t a joke. This really happened to me.”


  • hjhiggin
    hjhigginabout 6 years ago

    Aw. I love the dialogue, going between the internal and external. Lovely.

  • Matthew Dalton
    Matthew Daltonabout 6 years ago

    Thanks H J. It’s better to have lusted and lost because one day you might write a story about it.

  • Jeannette Sheehy
    Jeannette Sheehyabout 6 years ago

    Loved the dialogue – (the long face joke is my favourite by the way – hits my funny bone every time ) I loved the way at the end, nothing happens between the girl and the guy – real life. Thanks for making me smile! :)

  • Thanks very much Jeannette. I really like that joke too. I like the idea that things can be funny and serous at the same time. Thanks again!

    – Matthew Dalton

  • Damian
    Damianabout 6 years ago

    Haha, that’s excellent dialogue! I wanted this to have a “happily ever after”, cos it was sounding perfect :)

  • Thanks Damien! I know – but some how tragedy makes for more poignant comedy than romance. (Meg Ryan may disagree).

    – Matthew Dalton

  • Damian
    Damianabout 6 years ago

    Yeah, I agree…
    I think I was being selfish and wanting to know more about the girl myself, LOL! ;)

  • Well, next time you’re in Singapore you could visit a certain pub… : )

    – Matthew Dalton

  • George Yesthal
    George Yesthalabout 6 years ago

    He did nothing, which we all do on some occasion and to some degree making all our lives at some point just a bit of a…JOKE. Great read. I love the way you write. Am rapidly becoming a fan.

  • Thanks very much George. Glad to have you reading.

    Now, I’ve read a few of your stories and I don’t get the impression that you are the shy retiring type.

    – Matthew Dalton

  • Lauren Marr
    Lauren Marrabout 6 years ago

    haha love it

  • Thanks LozKat – almost a true story.

    – Matthew Dalton

  • Lauren Marr
    Lauren Marrabout 6 years ago

    haha rad

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