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Your own bodyweight in kit-kats

I was talking to a man named ‘Daisy’ about my bedroom antics. He said, ‘Listen, if I have to hear one more time about you eating Obama’s Nobel Peace prize out of your own arse, I’m going home.’ I told him to get out of my house. I wasn’t angry, I just didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. You see this story takes place in a little town called ‘Detroit’. It’s a lot like the Detroit that you see in the movies, only it’s pronounced ‘Sydney’, and everyone walks backwards when you’re not looking. At least I suspect they do. I suspect so many things. If I was around before the communists were killed by that asteroid, I probably would have had a field day. Doing what exactly, I have no idea. After telling Daisy to beat it, I went back in time and married my old family dog. In a dream. That I had. After falling asleep in the arms of America. Nuclear arms! Y’know, I think we both know that this story needs to go home. I think it’s drunk enough.
Good night everybody, you’ve been swell.
(cut to commercial about a cooking show)

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Your own bodyweight in kit-kats by 


Q:What can one man do against the absurdities that tear at the heart strings in this post-modern-day global village of the damned?
A: Maybe he’s a wizard!
Q: No, he’s not a wizard.

Tags

sex, drugs, donuts, french parking, the lourve, pope 1

Comments

  • RVRFNX
    RVRFNXover 4 years ago

    I’ve seen that commercial before. Also I think Daisy is the guy who gets up on stilts and juggles knives down at circular quay – he’s always so high all the time that he really mixes up his words, sentences and even sometimes forgets to finish off his dialogue with people – such forgotten dialogues inevitably return at a later stage – and so he’s been quoted saying “fuck me a fish dream you heartless tie wearing commodity, climb a stair you bloody tissue-fodder”. Less importantly, yet perhaps more directly, I think the comment about nuclear arms is a good one. Also, The whole Q and A and Q thing doesn’t end with a question mark… and I won’t be able to sleep until I get that damn question mark – which isn’t much, coz I don’t sleep, but you understand.

  • PJ Ryan
    PJ Ryanover 4 years ago

    you’re a little bit mad. i like it.

  • Andrew  Donegan aka Piebald77
    Andrew Donega...over 4 years ago

    My kind of title. You pack so much into such a small amount of space your passages require several re-reads! Not a bad thing……I love short short fiction myself.

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