When The Way Is Lost...

‘Cate S realizes that she is lost and cannot find her way’ – that status was seen on Facebook today. A social announcement that will hardly be noted – a declaration that she is feeling smoted. Everybody is busy, hurrying here and rushing there; busy like bees and beavers just as busy. All playing the same game of Rat Race; teetering on the edge of a precipice.

I stand here looking all around me for any clue; a roadsign perhaps pointing the way, which road to pursue. It’s funny but I’m not even sure of my location. I scratch my head, my face is perplexed, I feel a swell of agitation. My pace slows and comes to a stop, I don’t know which way to go – maybe I should just call for a tow?!? Road Side Assistance, can you assist a girl who has lost her way? Maybe she’ll just follow you about your day. Can you tell her which symptoms are crucial? Which knocks, bumps and ominous sounds – attention she should pay? Help her interpret their message like morse code tapping out an odd tattoo – creating a map to help her find her way. I feel like sinking down into the long grass of a cool green ditch, abandoning that husk of me to the world to do with it what it will. Left with nothing, no responsibilities, just clouds to count and my dreams to dream.

Instead, I am stuck here at this intersection. I don’t know what is my destination, i’m filled with resignation. I see a huge ‘YOU ARE HERE’ arrow above my head, but where ever I look I just feel disorientation. Life keeps knocking me on my ass – oh the frustration, but I still have lots of sass – on I doggedly go. I have more than my share of tenacity, I just want to know there is some veracity to all these trials that come my way. They wear me out, when I just want to play. I want some clarity, not this confusion, a fog bank enveloping me. This labrynth is astonishing in it’s complexity. Perhaps I need to find and follow my own Personal Legend just like the shepherd and all that alchemy. I just need a compass and a few clues, I’m so lost in these endless dunes. My vision obscured, my purpose all a blur – where is that bright guiding star? It feels like I have come so very far and yet all I see around me are the ancient ruins of a life lived less than fully.

It’s time to slow down, time to look around, it’s time to wake up. Time to follow where my heart leads before I find myself in a twisted wreck, with my life force leaving me. I wish, I wish, I wish upon a star that I find myself in the mist and clouds of Machu Pichuu. There I can ponder it’s endless mysteries and breathe the anorexic air; a world so far from me and far from you. Instead I’m still par for the course, facing or ignoring life’s many intricacies. Sitting here in this bland, fluorescent, corkboard, office cubicle; left to rue these quandaries. I can’t help but think I should be satisified. I know how much fortune I do possess in the whole grand scheme of things – but there is something deep inside that won’t let it’s voice be denied. I’m really not sure what the days to come will bring, but I know it’s not this, that reeks of death by boredom in office haiku! Down with artistry, creativity, free thought and all that is representative of unfettered liberty.

Round and round the merry go round we go! Round and round we pitch, while our stomachs heave and we feel sick. Stop the ride I wanna get off. The signs admonish ‘Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle and your lap belt secured at all times’...and somehow I obey, we obey. What is this absurdity?? Quick! Someone pour me a Smirnoff! I think I may be fading into obscurity, my soul’s voice heard no more, blending in with conformity.

• Favorite
• Report Concern
• Share This
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Add your comment

You need to login or signup to add your comment to this work.