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The Monster

It never leaves her side,
may as well call them
Jeckyl & Hyde.
so close you’d mistake them as the same
though they have different faces and go by different names.
The one thing in common is their heart is wicked above all things.
She is kind & gentle
the monster selfish & full of strife
but they’ve been joined together at the hip
for as long as they’ve been alive.
The girl is bold and independent
the picture of serenity
while the monster is hungry and insatiable
looking for people places and things to clothe it with a valuable identity.
One fierce
the other tame
both MVP’s of their respective games.
the girl is sewn together with her sparkling smile &
perfectly woven web of lies.
No one would have known when she excuses herself to the bathroom
she often sits and cries.
Fraud in every stitch & seam of the face she displays so the real one won’t be seen.
Always careful to cover her bases,
a master at concealing her tracks.
and you couldn’t even begin to count the wounded individuals who’ve had
knives gently slid into their backs.
With the monster by her side she never can be lonely
it whispers in her ear and says
“don’t you worry honey.
I’ll always be right here,
every second for the rest of your life.
you’ll take me to the grave,
you’ve got far too much you must hide.”
so for years and years they walked like this
heaving through corrupted chests.
Their lies lightly swirling around peoples heads
like a dancing puff of a newly lit clove.
They were each others sole companions
but no one ever knew.
The monster stayed tucked away in corners of the girls mind cleverly out of view.

Have you ever had a monster of your own,
that you couldn’t seem to shake?
Somewhere deep inside you know life would be so much sweeter
if you went your separate ways.
But on your own you’d hardly know how to cope just trying to live through a single day.
so the monster always wins,
and stays another season
carrying you closer towards insanity
as you lose sight of the shore;
drifting away from reason.
But one day
this girl
woke up.
and I don’t mean from a nap.
The scales fell to the ground
and not even the monster could cajole her to pick them back up.
It took a little while
in fact,
there’s still healing to be done
but the girl was radically reminded that her battle has been won.
She made sure the monster knew it and she sent it on its way.
And now when she looks in the mirror she sees
only a creation hand crafted by Yahweh.
The girl and the monster were once one in the same
but now
she is no longer ashamed of her pain.
Occasionally she’ll see glints of the monster
and have to remember
That’s Not Who She Is Now.
She’s a woman after God’s own heart.
Seeking the Lord and going
deeper in Him still.

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We all have monsters.
We all have been monsters.

Tags

monster, monsters, freedom, jeckyl hyde, voices, influences, secrets, thoughts, life, console, cajole, deeper, god, love, hope

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