There was a young man named Thomas
Who really didn’t show much promise.
His teacher said he was addled
And that he needed to be paddled
So from school he was dismissed.
Modern medicine has a name
Or so they like to claim
For Thomas Edison’s behaviour
Ritalin would’ve been the saviour
For ADHD was to blame.
Drugs like Ritalin act on parts of the brain
(Crystal Meth does the same)
Helps to focus attention
And filter out unnecessary information
So the inventive mind becomes lame.
In 1850 psychiatric drugs were not around
Besides, Thomas’s mother declared him sound
And taught him from home.
Her patience was well-known
And answers to Thomas’s questions were found.
When Thomas became an adult
There was a Freudian cult
Prescribing cocaine as a miracle drug
Curing practically any bug.
So Thomas took it in his wine to exalt.
Eventually Thomas became like Coleridge
And had his daily cocaine dosage
Creating ‘pleasure dome’ pipe dreams
As he gazed idly at moonbeams
While his light-bulbs went to porridge.
During all night benders Thomas worked on his spiel.
But like most addicts he needed to steal.
He stole from his workmate and his close friend
He would lie and pretend
And this helped him get a good deal.
Could it be the miracle of cocaine
Rather then Thomas’s brain
That allowed him to patent so many inventions?
It’s a fact hardly anyone mentions
About the grumpy old thieving pain.
Poetry for the ‘Thomas Edison’ Slam at Bar Alchemy 1st Tuesday of Febuary.
The ninja slam has topics every month and poets from all around town compete for a bit of fun.