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Update as Promised

Well a little while ago I let you know that I would be busy for a while and there was some drama going on that I needed to handle but couldn’t get into at the time.
I don’t know how many people will be interested in reading this and I hope it doesn’t come off as a whining session, but I did promise an update when I felt it was safe for me to do so…….so here it is.
I was married to a great guy, we were best friends and shared everything, about 7 years into the marriage things started to change, he stopped telling me things, got very distant and would rarely but ocassionaly lose his temper with the children, slapping them around. He started to be suspicious of every little thing we did and expected the children to instinctively know and follow the rules (or comply as he would say…a handy little word he picked up with his job) As the years passed the loss of temper became more and more with the kids, and with me it was mental beatings, I’m worthless, won’t amount to anything, not worth the time…..you know keeping me down as low as possible.
I was terrified of how I would take care of four children on my own, especially someone so worthless as myself but warned him anyway to get a handle on that temper or it was over. He lost it again and I said I wanted a divorce, he threatned to kill himself and that the children would blame me for the rest of their lives for his death……..so I stayed and tried yet again to make it work, but one night he lost his temper again and I called the police. …………ok ok this ‘update’ is getting way to long……….we’ve been apart since the fall of 2001. Last year my oldest son Nathaniel wanted to go live with him and was getting violent at home with his brothers, it was the hardest decision of my life but in the end I let him go. Then on Nick’s birthday (my youngest) my ex’s girlfriend almost drowned Kristopher my 12 yr old. Threw him in the water over his head while he was screaming at her that he couldn’t swim and begging her to put him down. :( Later on the same day, my ex held Nate underwater, then when they got back to his place he put Kris in a headlock after chasing him down, when Nate tried to help his brother my ex punched Nate in the face and let go of Kris to go after Nate, that gave them the chance to run off and hide for a while.
So in this time I’ve been gone, I’ve been trying to get custody of Nathaniel back without my ex knowing to much about it for fear of how he would react to the children telling me what had happened that day.
The papers came in the mail yesterday, I have all my children back with me where they belong, safe and sound at last.
So I want to thank you all for being so patient with me and even though you didn’t know what was going on or what the drama was, you supported me and help give me the strength to get through yet another of life’s hurdles.
Thank you so much

Journal Comments

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