InfinityRain

Update as Promised

Well a little while ago I let you know that I would be busy for a while and there was some drama going on that I needed to handle but couldn’t get into at the time.
I don’t know how many people will be interested in reading this and I hope it doesn’t come off as a whining session, but I did promise an update when I felt it was safe for me to do so…....so here it is.
I was married to a great guy, we were best friends and shared everything, about 7 years into the marriage things started to change, he stopped telling me things, got very distant and would rarely but ocassionaly lose his temper with the children, slapping them around. He started to be suspicious of every little thing we did and expected the children to instinctively know and follow the rules (or comply as he would say…a handy little word he picked up with his job) As the years passed the loss of temper became more and more with the kids, and with me it was mental beatings, I’m worthless, won’t amount to anything, not worth the time…..you know keeping me down as low as possible.
I was terrified of how I would take care of four children on my own, especially someone so worthless as myself but warned him anyway to get a handle on that temper or it was over. He lost it again and I said I wanted a divorce, he threatned to kill himself and that the children would blame me for the rest of their lives for his death….....so I stayed and tried yet again to make it work, but one night he lost his temper again and I called the police. ............ok ok this ‘update’ is getting way to long….......we’ve been apart since the fall of 2001. Last year my oldest son Nathaniel wanted to go live with him and was getting violent at home with his brothers, it was the hardest decision of my life but in the end I let him go. Then on Nick’s birthday (my youngest) my ex’s girlfriend almost drowned Kristopher my 12 yr old. Threw him in the water over his head while he was screaming at her that he couldn’t swim and begging her to put him down. :( Later on the same day, my ex held Nate underwater, then when they got back to his place he put Kris in a headlock after chasing him down, when Nate tried to help his brother my ex punched Nate in the face and let go of Kris to go after Nate, that gave them the chance to run off and hide for a while.
So in this time I’ve been gone, I’ve been trying to get custody of Nathaniel back without my ex knowing to much about it for fear of how he would react to the children telling me what had happened that day.
The papers came in the mail yesterday, I have all my children back with me where they belong, safe and sound at last.
So I want to thank you all for being so patient with me and even though you didn’t know what was going on or what the drama was, you supported me and help give me the strength to get through yet another of life’s hurdles.
Thank you so much

Bridgett Ferguson, 11 months ago

No one person should have to go through what you had to endure.
But I’m glad that’s all over. A new beginning awaits….
And good for you on getting the children with you.
Sincerely,
Bridgett :)
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you so much Bridgett. I know everything happens for a reason, I just hope the reason is worth what my children have already been through.
Andrew Bosman, 11 months ago

My thoughts are with you.
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you Andrew hugs
Just don’t go feeling sorry for me is all I ask….This is my life, I change what I can, accept what I can’t and hold onto every precious blessing I get (which are many)
WitheringMoon, 11 months ago

That’s so terrible for you Rain{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} i have no word, i wish you & your children every happiness and do you know what? everything does happen for a reason it makes us stronger and wiser, i too have just come out of a very bad relationship and i wouldn’t change a thing – it’s character building i could cope and deal with anything life throw’s at me now and i expect you feel the same!!!!!! so out with old and in with new =)
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you Kelly, I’m very sorry for your troubles as well, but as you said, we do come out stronger on the other end. I’ve had good and bad relationships since then and have learned from each one of them. I know now that I won’t get involved long distance again, nor will I jump into a relationship. People are rarely what they seem. I’m not bitter, just cautious. lol Here’s to our future adventures hugs
Bill Serniuk, 11 months ago

That’s horrendous! You are by no means, worthless! Don’t think that you are for a moment. Best wishes for a more satisfactory future!
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you Bill, I did feel that way for a lot of years but with the patience of dear friends and kind souls, I’ve finally overcome those feelings…besides the love of my children shines brightly in their eyes…..so I must be doing something right. hugs thank you and best wishes to you as well :)
Sarah Moore, 11 months ago

dear rain – know exactly how you feel – i left my husband only to find 8 weeks later that my 20 month old daughter had a nasty form of cancer – it took 3 years to beat it but in the end we did. through that time i formed a relationship with a man who never hit me – but abused me mentally for years – it took huge amounts of strength to leave him and not go back. there is always light at the end of the tunnel – i am now married to the most amazing man who loves me, my girls, and our 2 new boys like crazy!!!
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

hugs thank you so much for sharing that with me, it is hard sometimes to open up especially after such hardships. We do learn as we go and I am so thrilled for you that you’ve found your prince. Gives me hope…...I’m also very happy for you and your daughter, I had cancer in 2001, mine wasn’t nearly as difficult to get rid of as your daughters but what a huge thing her (and you) to triumph over at such a tender age.
Di Edwards, 11 months ago

Rain, I am so happy for your reunited family. My heart breaks for what you all had to endure but surely now there will be peace for you. I pray that things continue on the up and up for you and praise your strength of spirit. WTG Girl!
Jeff Burns, 11 months ago

That is indeed horrible what happened. But everything does happen for a reason they say. So you will bounce back strong. I am glad you used the blog to reach out to all of us. To get it out makes you feel better. Best wishes to you and stay strong
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you Di, Staying as strong as possible, the kids and I all grow stronger and happier by the day especially when we don’t hear from him….unfortunately there isn’t enough proof so he still has visitation and the children go down again after seeing him. But we’ll keep on keeping on as they say :)
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you Jeff, always hard for me to reach out, which is strange because I know I always feel better after I do. So many kind and thoughtful people all around me. hugs
deblink, 11 months ago

I am only new to this site. I am very sorry that you had to endure living with a controlling man and for all the grief you experienced. However I am very glad that you had the sense to leave the situation. Many women don’t and the consequences of their actions are horrendous. Your outcome is a good one and I hope that you and your children have a glorious life together. All the best and lots of hugs (they alway make people feel good).
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Hi Deb, thank you so much and thank you doubly for the hugs, I can always use heaps of those and always have heaps to give as well :) I can thank my sisters for me getting out of the situation, I grew up watching my oldest sister show up at all the family gatherings with black eyes, bruises, broken bones or not showing up at all and another sister who went through the same thing (one of them is with a great guy now who isn’t abusive) but I swore when I was very young that my children or myself would never go through that.
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Oh!!! And WELCOME TO THE BUBBLE!! :) :) hugs
Lee Burgess, 11 months ago

You poor thing Rain… What a terrible time you and your children had to go through.
I hope that if nothing else, this has made you stronger as a family unit..
And congratulations on getting your boys back and leaving a situation that would have terribly hard to leave..
Mental abuse is very powerful..

Big squeeze hugs for you my dear!!!
Paul Louis Vil..., 11 months ago

May your world be filled with peace, love and happiness for the rest of eternity!
I’m sending you huge spiritual hugs as i type!!
mick8585, 11 months ago

In my day to day work I see the results of angry, controlling and abusive men. I see mothers and children traumatised and anxious fleeing these bastards, disrupting their lives in the process. So glad you broke the cycle of violence. Mind how your boys are coping though. Show them that being a man is about strength without anger and caring without manipulation. Good luck.
Neil Boucher, 11 months ago

Thanks for sharing that Rain, it is so sad that some people can be so nasty. But you have risen above all of that – congratulations!
Here’s hoping for some good times ahead.
evlloyd, 11 months ago

Stay strong Rain!
you’ve told me details beofre, but never realized it was THAT bad, im in the same boat (kind of), my old man used to beat the crap outta me, so i can sympathize 100% with you.
You know you always have a friend in OZ if you ever wanna talk. just IM me, i’m usually there, just inviz! ;)

Stay strong lady, stay strong
Steve Axford, 11 months ago

Sounds really horrible – but you do have all your children back. I wish you all the best for ta viloence free future
Shanina Conway, 11 months ago

Oh Rain, what a nightmare you’ve been through…thank heavens you have your children back. I do hope things take an upturn from here on and you and your kids have a bright and happy future
Hugs
Shan
bidkev, 11 months ago

What a community this must be for you to feel able to talk openly about this. Having been involved with Child Protection, I can understand what you have been going through. stay strong, and feel worthy.

My best wishes for the future Rain, for you and yours.

kev
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you so much everyone, your support helps more than you can know.
Ev I’m so sorry for the hell your childhood must have been, but knowing you like I do now, let’s me know that children who have gone through it really can end up being amazing beautiful souls.
great big hugs for all of you!!
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you very much Kev, you snuck in there as I was typing. :) Yes this is an amazing community filled with so much support and love, for art as well as each other.
Helene Kippert, 11 months ago

Well done Rain to survive such abuse – you must be one strong woman. Best wishes to you and your kids for the future. Hugs.
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you so much Helene, my kids give me my strength, without them I shudder to think where I would be right now. hugs
Susan Trigg, 11 months ago

Isn’t it amazing how, when you scratch the surface a little, so many of us can make a connection with what you’ve been through and can rejoice that you’ve survived and grown. I’m so glad you have such wonderful children and I wish you all the best wishes for a brilliant future :)
Karen Cougan, 11 months ago

“….This is my life, I change what I can, accept what I can’t and hold onto every precious blessing I get (which are many)”

You learnt it well girl, now go forward and inspire all those who need it…..Just by speaking here you don’t know how many you have affected….........The Ripple Effect…....

Congratulations on having GUTS

Biggggggggggggg Hugs for you babe
xkc
dawlishblue, 11 months ago

Your children bring you more joy than anything else in life. I wish you well for the future
Nina1962, 11 months ago

Hi Rain,

GO Girl
I can relate to you very much
I am so happy that things have worked out for you
Things can only get better from here on, Now it’s time to enjoy your family.
Wishing you all happy times ahead.
Durotriges, 11 months ago

OMG, Rain. I had no idea it was that bad. How on earth can anyone treat others that way is beyond me. You hang on in there and just remember that you are not without friends! You are certainly not worthless in any way! and remember, like Ev says, if you need to flee the country, you know where I live! :-D
Joe Mortelliti, 11 months ago

Wishing you all the best for your new future Rain
Anita Donohoe, 11 months ago

Rain, thank you for your courage in telling us what happened. You have amazing strength and your children are well away from an unhealthy environment. I will offer you a bit of advice: be conscious when you talk with the children about their father. Talk about him with a neutral tone and explain that he is ill, which caused him to be violent, and that until he gets well he must stay away.

Here are a bunch of evil eye beads to protect you from future harm!
Evil Eye Tree
Dharna, 11 months ago

As I wipe the tear from my eye after reading your story and thoughts from every one else, you are one amazing lady and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially that you are worthless. I know exactly how you feel after having to dig myself out of a hole in my past. You are brave for telling your story and maybe it will help others, there is a way out and life will get better.
I am so happy for you that you have all your children with you. All the best for your bright and new life.
mawaho, 11 months ago

Along with everyone else here I would like to wish you the best future. You deserve it.
Louise Cooke, 11 months ago

Hi Infinity Rain, I truly hope your dark days are over and that the sun shines for you again. Take care and stay strong.
InfinityRain, 11 months ago

Thank you everyone, so much…..I don’t think I could possibly express how much all this support and understanding has meant to me…I get a lump in my throat every time I read through your heartfelt comments.
misschristina95, 11 months ago

Hi there. I actually did not read your blog yet, but I was wondering if you live in Arizona? I live nearby to Prescott, so I was just curious. :) Thanks. :)
Brett Foster, 10 months ago

Sorry, I wasn’t aware of this.
You deserve so much good karma. Sending you all I can spare!
But your strength, bravery and love for your children have shone through – and that coupled with the talent you have displayed here makes you far from worthless. Just the opposite infact! You rock, don’t let anyone tell you different.
InfinityRain, 10 months ago

Hello MissChristina, No I live in Prescott Michigan, much much smaller. :) Thanks for your visit

PhotoBloke…....thank you so much for your kind words and support…...and especially for the warm thoughts. :)