Erwin Raphael McManus. Soul Cravings.
It’s like when Kim and I were first dating. It was both wonderful and volatile. We argued all the time. It seemed the more committed I was, the more conflict we had. Some people have smooth dating relationships and an exciting engagement and then a turbulent first year of marriage. We did it the other way around. We had a great first year of marriage. You never could have predicted that from how things were going right up to the wedding. For a while, it seemed that she was purposefully picking fights. I wasn’t sure whether it was paranoia or whether she was doing everything possible to make me run for my life.
I remember finally confronting her and asking her what in the world was going on. When she began to open up her heart, I began to really understand. Km was an orphan – huge abandonment issues. Abandoned by her parents at the age of eight, she grew up in a foster home. She was sure that I would do the same thing. I would eventually come to my senses and gt out of the relationship. She knew it wasn’t possible for me to love her unconditionally, and she was determined to prove it.
Sometimes the thing we want the most, we fear the most.