Full name: Incognita Anne Ominous Knojuan Nom de Plume (a.k.a. Cog)
Address: A House, Terra Incognita, Middle of Nowhere
Miss Borgia Creed’s Academy for the Indigent Young
Sporeology, Advanced Sporeology and Moulds, Dustism and Sammology, Handwriting.
Director, Museum of Dust
Personally responsible for every element of the Museum’s activities — everything from building programs to curatorial to cleaning up after everyone else.
MoD’s activities provide a benchmark for all other museums both in the scope of the collection, unique conservation and storage challenges, the provision of public programs and in its innovative associates program. MoD’s collections include, but are not limited to, desiccated remnants, futile enterprises, half-baked schemes, forlorn hopes, misunderstood and misapplied theories, forgotten isms, individual and mass delusions, wasted endeavors, yesterday’s men and forgotten heroes, rusting hulks and worm-eaten ruins.
Blackboard monitor, Erasers’R’Us (Sub-contractor)
Responsible for all elements of care, feeding and maintenance of blackboards and their accouterments. These include pointers, pull-down maps, chalk and, naturally, dusters.
It was in this position that I first began to consider the true meaning of dust. Unfortunately technology caught up with me, and the universal uptake of WBT# forced me out of a once thriving industry. Luckily I have donated my extensive collection of professional appurtenances to the MoD and they will form the centerpiece of a forthcoming major exhibition.
Third Assistant Under-secretary from the Left, Intersol: Strategic Intelligence Division, (CEO and Overlord: Musrum)
Assisting the Assistant to the Assistant Under-secretary to the Secretary.
Soon after completing my education, and despite the fact that I had no financial imperatives, having few needs although an infinity of wants, I consented to take a position within Intersol. At this time Intersol had become focused on the internecine conflict with the Weedking and his minions which had begun centuries earlier.
I played an invaluable role within Intersol, but its true value to my career was in the catalytic part it played in alerting me to the central importance of museums to any kind of civilized civilization. Gradually I moved myself, slow millimeter by millimeter, from my original position behind the janitor’s cupboard on one of the upper floors of the over-hyped iron Castle, to the central exhibition hall of the Castle Museum. Here, amidst the permanent exhibition of other castle-owners’ homes and the display of Musrum’s mother#, I eagerly learned as much as I could about every aspect of the establishment and management of the museum.
Unfortunately, my tenure came to a premature end when I accidentally left the postern door unlatched one October night. Somehow, the Weedking took advantage of this oversight to ingress deep into the Iron Castle with a few thousand of his hand-picked personal guard. The fighting was fierce and isolated incidences of hand-to-hand combat continuing to break out for some months afterwards. Musrum was able to escape with only his illusions and a small but scarcely used handkerchief. The rest, as they say, is history.
For me, the Weedking’s depravations were a clear sign that it was time for me to move on professionally and personally.
#A connoisseur bartered for her with two valuable wheels, took her home, and became her favorite son.
Gaffer (Work Experience), Intersol: Department of Documentary and Other Propaganda. (CEO and Overlord: Musrum)
Assisted in documenting the construction of Intersol’s Iron Castle. “The Iron Castle was cast as a single unit. The two gigantic halves of the mould are on show in the Castle Museum. The Museum may be found in the eastern half of the mould. Everything in the Castle was iron – from fluff and cobwebs to stairways and draperies – that is, with one remarkable exception: a great suit of armour in the Hall was wrought in human skin. It slept in an Iron Wardrobe.”#
Renowned throughout the known world as well as in many of the liminal and sub-liminal realms, Musrum’s sprawling multi-tentacled empire, Intersol, requires no introduction. If, however, you have been trapped on a distant planet for eons, I have provided the following explanation. To defuse any suggestion of bias, I quote directly from the definitive 1968 biography, eponymously titled ‘Musrum’, by his sycophantic biographers, Thacker and Earnshaw.
“Musrum’s servants.. found, beneath The Ground Floor, The Cellar – a vast subterranean system of workings, an underworld contained casually between solid escarpment and moss-green rock, twilit by a shy phosphorescence, indubitably rich in mineral deposits, particularly iron ore. Musrum was well pleased with this ready-made land, interpreting its discovery as an augury of good fortune. He annexed it in his own name and called it Intersol – The Place Between the Solids."
#p. 21 "Musrum’, Thacker & Earnshaw, 1968
Load-bearing skeletal structure
IE, MSocK, I&FMS, Terra Incognita Pony and Baby Seal Clubs Club, founding member Grime Watchers
Details of My Brilliant Career