I sit perched above a sea of many words
In the desk lamp light it shimmers
My mind clicks and shudders on a rollercoaster of motivation and intermission
It thirsts for knowledge, whilst rejecting it
Words, words everywhere, but not a drop it will drink.
Like some temperamental beast it remembers only what it chooses.
As I am pounded wave after wave, left battered and bruised on the beach of Knowledge.
On quiet incisive nights, off guard I try to catch it
Using tricks and antics, to force and tame it into complete remembrance.
But in turn the beast fools me
I know not quite what it may belch when the crucial moment arrives.
Like an imitation Chux, old and well used, it retains very little
Only in merriment it soaks in my important thoughts.
Only in merriment it brings them to surface.
Like some drowned, bloated body of reflection
It simply makes rough notes adjudging what it jots down with its heavy Pen.
For the mind is a great black beast.
As it sits up there in it’s ever important chair
Laughing at my actions
Laughing at my stupidity
Mocking my utter soul as it dresses me in motley
Playing evil and childish games with emotion, from jealousy to deep depression.
It tears and throws me about the stage of life.
For it is the director, I am the actor
But at times, we confront face, to inner face
I and it will join as friends
We have a talk, a drink, a laugh, a cry.
A slow and lulled conversation through the smoke filled room of my head
We both kick up our heals, swear to be friends forever
Swear to work together.
That is until the next exam.
An inner turmoil… HSC, exams… University, can we really cope?