It took me a while
To realise,
that what I’m feeling
is a strange emotion
called happiness.

Then I was sad,
because I couldn’t remember,
That I had to think about it
to work out that
I am happy

And the worst thing is though,
that me being happy
means I can’t be there,
not like I could when
I hated life.

Because when I hated life
I could listen and help
and I loved to help you all
because it meant that
My feelings were about
what you were going through
and not my own feelings.

So I will always be there
for you all
but I’m not sure
that I can be the same
And for that my darling friends

I am…