It’s been a year but it feels like longer since I saw you last
I struggle to bring that night back, it’s slipping away from me
I don’t want to remember, but I don’t want to forget either
I feel haunted by the words you left me
I will never know why you did this to yourself
or why you would do this to me
Maybe it’s not meant for me to know
but I am sentenced just the same
Today is only a reminder of a lifetime of these days
You are gone but you have left me with this
I get to hold it and carry it because if I let it go……I can’t let it go
How do I put this behind me?
How do I forget that you died here?
How do I ever make this right in my head?
Even saying it hurts like hell
You didn’t die here you killed yourself here and there is a difference
I am suppose to remember you today
but today is no different than yesterday,
it hurt then and it hurts now
it hurts everyday and it will hurt for the rest of my life
And this is what you left me
I wrote this one year after my best friend Patrick killed himself outside my home.