The wonderful world of Disneyland; where such joys of happiness and not a worry in the world lie within this place full of fantasy and magic. But amidst the rides and the Mickey Mouse plastered hot chocolate mugs was something of much more beauty. It was here I saw the perfect girl for me.
We were only a few metres apart; both waiting in line to board the renowned ‘Sun Wheel’ Ferris wheel. There were two queues: the girl was in one line and I was in the other. During the long waits, I would occasionally glance at her. I know nothing about her: I don’t know her name, how old she is or where she comes from. But observing her from the distance, I could tell: she’s the one.
She’s wearing a pastel yellow cardigan, and black Levi Jeans. Her hair is tied back with an emerald green hair band; and she’s wearing a pair of white Converse sneakers. This girl has got a nice sense of style. She doesn’t have a figure of a supermodel, and isn’t the hottest girl I’ve seen in the 15 years I’ve lived on earth. But every time I look at her, her smile and facial expressions omit a radiance of innocence and beauty which simple puts me at awe. I continue looking at her, wondering the possibilities of us being friends or maybe something more. Maybe she could drop her wallet while getting out of the carriage, and I’d be there to pick it up and give it to her. We could go walking about, riding the ‘California Screamin’ roller coaster and buy some hamburgers afterwards. But it never turns out the way I imagine it. I’m always thinking of things like this that aren’t realistic.
Her family boards the small carriage, settles in the seats and relaxes as the carriage begins to ascend into the air. I look around, surrounded by masses of children holding Disney memorabilia and frustrated parents trying to settle them down. I eye her carriage moving about, as though it was a spirit heading for the heavens above the skies. Conjured images of ice-cream and angels occupy my mind. Maybe angels do exist amongst our world.
I enter the next empty carriage with a Chinese family of 4, all eagerly excited to board this ride. The carriage begins to rise into the air while I continue to look for her from the rails. The air seemed fresh up high, but my mind felt dizzy from the towering heights I was at. And there I was, sitting in the moving carriage feeling nauseated while she slowly walked out of hers. And there and then, she was gone.
Throughout the evening I wondered about: holding a mug full of hot chocolate in one hand and a nice crispy Churro in the other. The night was cold, but the many lights and firework displays illuminated everything with an aura of warmth. The sights of many couples sitting on the benches; talking, cuddling and smiling at each other sent shivers down my spine. Right at that moment, I longed for company. Someone I could connect with. Someone like her.
As I continued walking, I reached the Sleeping Beauty Castle. The structure and beauty of the overall building simply engulfed me with an overwhelming sense of bittersweet longing. The loneliness was beginning to wear me down. ‘I wish I had a fairytale ending to all this’ I thought to myself. And in the distance, I saw that nostalgic figure: the yellow cardigan and the black jeans. She also had a mug in her hand, slowly wondering and exploring the area as I was. Two lonely persons just waiting to find each other. It seemed too good to be true.
We both stared in awe at the Castle.
I turned to look at her, but she had begun to walk away.
It was my last day at Disneyland: I went on every ride I could and tried to enjoy the overall atmosphere before I left. My flight for Australia was in a few hours, and I knew that it’d be a long time till I can experience this joy again. My eyes would search for her as I walked past the busy crowds: hoping to catch a glimpse of her once before I leave. But my search was futile.
The sun was setting in the background and bathed the theme park with a golden hue. I gazed upon this haven known as Disneyland and smiled with a bittersweet tinge. It’s always sad to leave a place, but I know I’ll remember it all: the food, rides and overall atmosphere. And I’ll remember her. I turned around as I started walking to the exit. The overwhelming sense of melancholia was beginning to engulf me, but I knew I had to continue walking. But from the distance, I could see that familiar figure which had overcome my thoughts for the last 2 days. It was her.
My body was shaking; my lips quivering with such delight but also uneasiness. ’It’s now or never’, I told myself. I could not let an opportunity like this to disappear because of my incompetence to act upon my feelings. My heart was beating rapidly and I could feel my teeth clattering softly. The opportunity was in front of me, it just depended on whether I would take the risk.
I glanced at her. She looked at me. In that brief second we had established contact; a connection. No words were spoken, but that one look said it all.
She is the perfect girl for me.
However I couldn’t gain the confidence to say something, anything. We passed each other, and that moment of connection had been broken. After walking on a few more steps, when I turned around, her figure had already disappeared into the crowd. I lowered my head in disgust at my lack of courage, my inability to reach out and do something about the situation.
I’ve lost her.
And as the passing days of my life go by, only two words constantly repeat in my mind.