Top 5 Ways to Fight Depression

Sheamus D
Author: Sheamus D
Word Count: 320
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Top 5 Ways to Fight Depression

5. Adam Sandler films. Adam Sandler is hilarious. Really. Especially when he gets angry. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAAA. LOOK HIS GOLF BALL WONT GO IN THE HOLE!! BWAAHAAA!! Thank christ he isn’t dead yet so he can continue to make more quality films to cheer me up.

4. Happy Meals. Happy meat in a happy bun with happy potato dipped in happy boiling oil in a happy as fuck box. Take the depression of inhumanely farmed cattle and small children working in third world plastic toy factories and feed on their souls for pleasure. I recently replaced my wallet with a Happy Meal.

3. Crocs. My black Dunlop Volleys were really getting me down so I traded them in for a pair of bright rubber oversized clown sandals so that every time I feel down and stare at my feet I end up laughing at how stupidly ridiculous they look.

2. Merry-go-rounds. Round and round and round, I’m riding a horsey and look! There’s a hippo! And the lights are flashing and the carnival music is playing and balloons are over there but now I’m over here and there’s someone’s dog and there’s an inflatable giraffe and now I’m over there but not any more oh dear god I’m having so much fun!

1. Chicken Soup for the Soul. “It’s like homemade chicken soup that warms the chill and heals the ill…based on the belief that true testimonies of goodness and loving transformations can nourish us to the bone and heal the cynicism in our hearts. It’s hard not to shed a tear of gratitude, feeling thrilled to have been touched and soothed so easily.” (amazon.com) If only Ian Curtis had read this book, Joy Division would still be together touring their seminal album “Joy Division for the Soul” live at Christian motivational camps. What a pity.

  • Jessica  Tremp

    Jessica Tremp

    you put it up!!!!!!11
    thank you…now, whenever i’m fighting the boss, the phone, the muffin, whatever, i can always get my dose of merry go-roundness…

  • Sheamus D replied

    specially for you Jess

  • Jessica  Tremp
  • yt sumner

    yt sumner

    You make Happy Meals come out of my eyes.

  • Sheamus D replied

    We could feed all the starving children with those powers Yase, though the cost would be they die of heart disease by the age of thirty.

  • Holly Ringland

    Holly Ringland

    Sheamus, I just laughed out loud… as in BA-HAHAHAHAAAAAAA… at my work desk, clearly on task am I. I can’t pick a favourite part… although the Crocs and Adam Sandler are in high competition with Joy Division. Reading this, nodding, my little cynic wanted to say, damn the man… which reminded me of Empire Records in my high school years… which made me think that this is like Empire Records in a bottle for a sugar-high-addict.. And I will drink it regularly and happily, thank you so much.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Hahahahaha, your metaphor cracked me up Holly, also at my work desk. Thanks :)

  • razorbladeshine

    razorbladeshine

    did you know that there is 2 merry-go-rounds on southbank at present? i was damn impressed at seeing them.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Are they still there? I’d like to try going on two at once!

  • Luke Downes

    Luke Downes

    I think I’d go work at McDonald’s if we had to call everything happy like that. It would just please me to irritate others by having to say, “Here’s your happy change and your happy bag with happy food. Have a happy day!”

    But fast food scares the shit out of me.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Exactly, the overly cheerful will conquer the angry and flustered every time!

  • palmzcity

    palmzcity

    wow. it sure doesn’t take you much to get over a bad day. awesome.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Thanks, glad you enjoyed!

  • PJ Ryan

    PJ Ryan

    If only Ian Curtis had read this book, Joy Division would still be together touring their seminal album “Joy Division for the Soul” live at Christian motivational camps. What a pity

    baaaaaaaaaaaaaah ! that’s so funny lol

  • Sheamus D replied

    Humor is a good way of overthrowing sadness :)

  • Bryan Davidson

    Bryan Davidson

    Oh god. This is superb.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Cheers Bryon!

  • Katarzyna Szura

    Katarzyna Szura

    Good one I agree with Adam Sandler`s films :) But what helps me is spring and sun nothing better for my soul :)

  • Sheamus D replied

    Agreed, it can be difficult to feel down if the world is screaming sunshine and happiness and new life at you!

  • JaredSouth

    JaredSouth

    sunsets, pink floyd and shiner bock

  • Sheamus D replied

    A cold beer and good music in the fading afternoon sun is also a personal favourite.

  • Rex Inkpen

    Rex Inkpen

    ha! great satire and some wholesome targets..

  • Sheamus D replied

    Its the wholesome that need targeting the most :)

  • Mardra

    Mardra

    I will come back to this again and again. Thank you for sharing.

  • Sheamus D replied

    Thank you for reading and enjoying Mardra!

  • Karen Chaffee

    Karen Chaffee

    Wonderful things all. : )

  • Sheamus D replied

    Happy to bring a smile to you face Karen :)

  • Luckyvegetable

    Luckyvegetable

    You’re sick. And awesome.

    =D

  • Luckyvegetable

    Luckyvegetable

    did I mention the ‘awesome’ part?
    he. hehe.

  • Sheamus D replied

    I’m definitely sick COUGH HACK. Awesome is a good counterweight XD

  • Julialala

    Julialala

    I’ve never been on a merry-go-round, and now I really want to go on one, because of you! =]

  • Sheamus D replied

    You must try it, they’re like being on drugs without the drugs.

  • Julialala

    Julialala

    That’s what I’m like normally without doing anything at all, lol :D

  • BYRON

    BYRON

    Sheamus, brilliantly funny stuff.

    As-one-who-knows… I always thought it was a riot when other people said to me that all I have to do is not think depressing thoughts.

    O…K… that should make everything better. (not)

  • HopePeace110
  • aroha

    aroha

    I don’t get it, Adam Sandler is hilarious? ;)

    Genius, loved this, made me laff me arse off after a crappy monday so thanks for that!

  • Michael Eyssens

    Michael Eyssens

    thanks for sharing

  • Michael Alesich

    Michael Alesich

    Love this Sheamus, I’m heading to motivaitonal Christmas Camps as we speak.

  • libratographer

    libratographer

    Oh, man, I read this thinking you were doing a fantasy piece on Governor’s Camp in Kenya. This is even better – thanks!

    (who is Adam Sandler?) (oh – I’m a yank)

  • Krystle

    Krystle

    Well that was chicken soup for my brain which was just what I needed this morning… cheers!

  • DanaMS

    DanaMS

    Hahahahaha! Yeah that would work I guess for my depression as well! Seeing your feet would be hilarious! LOL! Great writing! You sure made me smile! LOL!

  • Emmahleee

    Emmahleee

    This is fantastic
    well written and very funny!
    Perfect for my unhappy soul at times lol

  • CapturedByKylie

    CapturedByKylie

    I think Crocs are hilarious too- who willingly pays $50 for a pair of rubber clogs with holes all in them!? (Apparently alot of people of all ages and walks of life…)

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    3. Crocs…...you don’t have to pay a lot for them…..el-cheapo ones I hear are just as good…..never bought a pair myself but I have many that swear how comfee the buggers are!!!.....Ohhh and Happy Meals, not on my list…..I knew there was sumtink I was missing out on!!! Keep spreading the good cheer…I bet your a whiz a writing Xmas cards too ;>) X

  • Jeannie Peters

    Jeannie Peters

    to funny!!! i’m new to bubble (just signed up today). I came here to see what they had to offer and read yours. I laughed so hard!
    I had a bought of depression and when i feel depressed I go to the gym and beat ppl up. lol it works :)
    oh yea, I guess I should add its a martial arts gym .. lol

  • [l1|\|70|\| 7\|r33 KMA

    [l1|\|70|\| 7\...

    WTF??? Depression???

  • Bill Dunster

    Bill Dunster

    That is satisfying for the soul. I have to check out Joy Division again.

  • Barbara Cliff

    Barbara Cliff

    You young are out there in the middle of it all -everything has a funny side—good on you. Me-I retreat amoung the trees ocean and birds and breezes and write etc. You surely need courage to face this modern world

  • wigs

    wigs

    if I ever suffer from depression I will revisit here…. otherwise fab work…..

  • IntriCate

    IntriCate

    Yep, I’m still chuckling over here, supressing out right laughter as I am at work… love it! And now I will not be able to get Adam Sandler’s voice out of my head…. : )

  • Hannah Fenton-Williams

    Hannah Fenton-...

    Great stuff

  • HopePeace110

    HopePeace110

    I think I died laughing at number two. =D love it.

  • gbabes96

    gbabes96

    well done it cracked mii up lol x

  • Onche

    Onche

    great site for making people feel glade. i am happy for hopepeace110. please keep going on with it. God bless you all.

  • Luke Stephensen

    Luke Stephensen

    I loved the Ian Curtis reference. Joy Division are one of my favourite. See the movie ‘Control’ If you havn’t yet.

  • Jaytee

    Jaytee

    i use # 1 alot, dont know what it is about that chook soup but it sure does warm the ticker. loved your writting too, clever.

  • ddementedd

    ddementedd

    My favorite cure for the blues is the hilarious anti-classic film The Conqueror “starring” John Wayne. Wayne as Genghis Khan! Susanne Hayward as his wife Bortai! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Lee Van Cleef do his Tartar dance around the campfire! And then there’s the rather, um, hefty William Conrad as Kasar, Genghis Khan’s brother, who utters the line, “My brawn now holds me captive!”

    Now available in DVD:

    http://www.amazon.com/Conqueror-John-Wayne/dp/B00000I1DH/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251403198&sr=1-1

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