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Sunday, Snarky Sunday

What an exciting week it was for women and rapists in America! Todd Akin, Republican Senate nominee from Missouri said if a woman is a victim of legitimate rape she can’t get pregnant, implying that there is no need for a rape exception to a ban on abortions. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” he proclaimed. Well, there you have it ladies! If you get pregnant from a rape it was not really rape. See, here is how it works: you have these little rape guardians in your vagina and if it is a “legitimate rape” those guardians will rush to cover your cervix which prevents rape sperm from entering your uterus. However, if you do become pregnant it was not a “legitimate rape” and your egg was just asking for it.

Discussions about the upcoming presidential election have often included the question of the candidates’ religion. Thank the Universe we are not fighting about whether President Obama is a secret Muslim. Instead we are talking about Mormons and magic underwear. Our Constitution specifically provides that no religious test shall be required of any candidate for office, yet here we are discussing whose way of talking to their invisible friend is best. This country would benefit from a non-religious President — one who makes rational and reasonable decisions based on fact. I would like to see a President who does not talk to a magic sky fairy or walk around wearing magic man-panties.

Charlie Crist, former governor of Florida, has endorsed President Obama. That’s gotta put a twist in Mitt’s magic knickers!

Tropical storm Isaac forced the Republicans to postpone their national convention scheduled to begin Monday. Of course you realize that this storm is not really a natural event but a conspiracy by President Obama to shut down the convention, so says Rush Limbaugh. Know what else President Obama has planned for the Republicans? On election day the President will unleash a shockingly huge coronal mass ejection that will wipe out only Republican communication satellites and cause all the voting machines to register every vote for Mitt Romney as one for President Obama. After he wins the election by CME interference, President Obama will declare the USA a communist country and force Rush Limbaugh to share his Viagra and Oxycontin pills with less fortunate men in America. Everyone will be forced to eat vegetables and drink only organic fruit and veggie smoothies.

America experienced another shocking act of gun violence again last week. This one hit close to home as one of my sons lives and works in New York City where the shooting occurred. Just moments after my son walked past the Empire State Building, a man opened fire on bystanders killing at least one person. The National Rifle Association will probably be asking for donations to help get guns into the hands of more and more people. Their answer to gun violence is always greater access to guns and more guns in the hands of those “good” Americans who could shoot the bad guys if they just had a gun! If more people had guns then more people could have shot at each other in a frenzy of panic and fear without knowing who started the shooting or who they should be shooting at and then the police could take them all out in a hail of bullets and blood. Ain’t that America where every woman is like Annie Oakley and every man a John Wayne.

Legitimate Rape by Renegade Raging Grannies

Happy Snarky Sunday!


Cross-posted at Active Art

Comments

  • Jacqueline Ison
    Jacqueline Isonover 2 years ago

    LOL…..doubt Crist’s endorsement would put anyone’s knickers in a twist…..an endorsement by him for a Repub would be a death knell, considering he’s a wanna be proggressive. I could abide by more veg and organic fruit smoothies….but organic veg smoothies???? ugh…yuck!
    Good one, Helen!

  • he’s a wanna be progressive

    ROFLOL I betcha if Crist had endorsed Romney you’d be singing a different tune. Crist would be the bestest Republican governor Florida ever had ever in the history of Republican governors – if he had endorsed Romney. LOL Love the rationalization there Jacqueline. Priceless.

    Love ya!

    – H Maria Perry

  • artisandelimage
    artisandelimageover 2 years ago

    the actual weather conditions in tampa bay act obviously as an interesting metaphor in regard to the republican convention: vote romney and this will be the social “weather” for 4 years. we should not let this happen.
    my best, francis.

  • Some storms are just too destructive to survive. The best course of action is to avoid the storm if possible.

    – H Maria Perry

  • © Kira Bodensted
    © Kira Bodenstedover 2 years ago

    OMG – I have been watching this on Danish Television on The Daily Show – I just couldn’t believe my ears – I thought he was making a (bad) joke. How can someone so dumb get a job at all – any job and he is running for Senate!? – What a scary country you live in.

  • I wonder if there is a pill that can help build up anti-rape-baby vagina guardians? Maybe all us girls should wear magic underwear to ward off rapists? Apparently we’ve been doing it wrong.

    – H Maria Perry

  • mmargot
    mmargotover 2 years ago

    An excellent write : but will not be believed of course! It is all so upside-down inside-out in the U.S.
    We must not forget the “Sovereign Nationals” or some such, who feel that each man in indeed an island, have their own driver’s licenses and don’t pay taxes. They hoard guns because Obama is going to call in NATO troops and declare martial law so it will be necessary to
    be prepared and protect oneself. [ I think that’s how it goes ]

    Meanwhile the “middle class” is the smallest it has been since WWII, with only the very rich and very poor left. The middle class is rapidly joining the food lines, but this is frowned upon since, as you mentioned, chuches who sponsor such places have run out of charity soup and prefer cash donations. Probably to buy guns to protect … what?

    oh, ptooey.

  • Don’t worry mmargot! After NATO forces shoot you dead and bury in an umarked mass grave generously provided by FEMA, the Mormons will posthumously baptize you so you too can rule your own planet in the afterlife. You won’t need a gun because you will be a god in your own right. Or if you believe that other religion you will get a golden harp and get to sing happy songs for eternity. Maybe you will get 72 hunky, sexy virgin boy-toys when you ascend to your eternal reward? Then again you could be reincarnated as a flower or a mountain gorilla or a Republican governor. Too many possibilities! It’s easier to be atheist and just call it a day.

    xo

    – H Maria Perry

  • WomanLockedAway
    WomanLockedAwayover 2 years ago

    I really appreciate all the links you’ve included. Now I know what that incredible ass sounds like. I really hope I never hear of him again. You keep up the good work!

  • You’re welcome. :-)

    – H Maria Perry

  • mmargot
    mmargotover 2 years ago

    Perhaps The Great Kat will open a shelter for the naive and children who still have hope….

  • I might be snarky, but I still hold onto a thread of hope . . . .

    – H Maria Perry

  • Pascale Baud
    Pascale Baudover 2 years ago

    This information was broadcast by the French media and there when I heard Republican Senator: I did not believe my ears! And disgust about too much stupidity!

  • Unfortunately, Mr. Akin is not alone in his way of thinking. He and all his like-minded supporters are an embarrassment to all intelligent Americans – all 10 of us.

    – H Maria Perry

  • Jacqueline Ison
    Jacqueline Isonover 2 years ago

    Never liked the slimebag….truly, his endorsement is not a feather in anyone’s cap…he’s repub in name only….if Obama wants him he’s welcome.

    Long live captitolism and freedom….love ya back!

  • Oh he’s a RINO. There’s a few DINOs running about too. Capitalism – yeah, it’s worked out real good so far, for about 1% of the population.

    – H Maria Perry

  • Jacqueline Ison
    Jacqueline Isonover 2 years ago

    I think the 2%, 3%, etc, are pretty happy as well. I am still waiting for someone to come up with a better alternative….

  • Iceland.

    – H Maria Perry

  • Cindy Schnackel
    Cindy Schnackelover 2 years ago

    That was one of the most ridiculous statements by a politician this year so far. That was part of what was going on, on TV in the background, when I made this collage the other day. You’re welcome to link your journal in a comment there!

  • Powerful art work Cindy! Thank you very much. I left my thoughts on your work. I hope I interpreted your work as you intended (or at least got close to it).

    – H Maria Perry

  • Your comment and your art work encouraged me to upload a scan of a collage I made recently. :-)

    – H Maria Perry