I posted this comment in a forum about the objectification of women in art and in the media. I am astonished that I have been met with so much resistance from women on this issue. So here is my statement based on my observations of responses from women over the past three months:
I get the sense that some women are embarrassed to admit that they are not in complete control of their own lives. I perceive that some women will defend their position that there is no significant discrimination because to admit that discrimination exists somehow weakens them as a person.
Our power lies in admitting that there is a problem, accepting that we are not treated fairly – worldwide, and then advocating for equality in all areas of life.
Let this be your mantra:
I am intelligent.
I am strong.
I am empowered.
I am powerful.
Do not keep your head in the sand and your minds in denial. Be strong and accept the problems we face as a gender. Then, let’s work together to find a solution.
I expect that as long as women can say:
“MY wages are as good as a man’s”
“MY partner doesn’t hit me”
“MY children are safe”
“MY home is in a good neighborhood”
“MY life is good”
then anyone who comes in and tries to tell them that other women in their world, country, city, neighborhood are not fairing as well, they will deny deny deny that this is true. To admit that any woman is discriminated against in their own back yard threatens their security and undermines the very foundation upon which the lives are built.
I am here to shake those lies to the very foundation, to expose the truth, and help make the world a little better for everyone.
If you have time please view Sexism Sells: But We’re Not Buying It
kathleen
,
2 months ago
ohhh you are sooo good… love the way you write this stuff… I want to wave a banner sister… and that sounds corny but it’s the bloody truth!!! :-)
Helen Bascom, 2 months ago
I burned my bra in the 1970s, I exposed discriminatory practices of employers in the 1980s, I fought throughout the 1990s by filing law suits, and in this decade, I continue the fight . . . only now it’s global!
Sally Omar, 2 months ago
Helen, YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also burned my bra in the ‘70s…fought for Civil Rights
and fought for Women’s Rights in the workplace…we’re here and we’re strong and
we’re as good and sometimes better than any man at the jobs we do..and most
importantly should stand together and proud..Sally xxoo
kathleen
,
2 months ago
well… I was born in the 70s (sorry ladies, not wanting to point out anything particular) but I feel and see pressures that are becoming sickeningly mainstream… desensitization of morals is scaring the hell out of me…. and the criminal consequences in the greater community is no longer metaphorical… it’s proven… as far as what some areas of research class as ‘proven’ is concerned… good enough for me.
Estelle O'Brien, 2 months ago
The points you make are incisive and I think, accurate. Women generally (and I know I shouldn’t generalise) seem so afraid to see things as they really are. I also burnt my bra in the 70s…but see now some things that we thought were gains have actually turned out to be chains…eg having a career AND still juggling the family care~ two (or three) full time jobs now instead of one (and being made to feel guilty no matter which we choose). Feminists also need to be honest about where we are at. But, as you say, so many seem to bury their heads rather than engage in intelligent debate.
sticky, 2 months ago
Now don’t get me going…................. Self deception is a particularly stupid femaile trait !!!! Helen you voice what so many of us think x
Helen Bascom in reply to sticky’s comment, 2 months ago
Yes, and I suspect I will be burned at the stake for my big mouth as well.
KellyThomas, 2 months ago
Gee ladies, bras are expensive!! I take mine off as soon as I get home from work.. does that count? ;-)
Clinton Tyree KM@, 2 months ago
Every problem has its Uncle Toms.
Remember the Pankhurst sisters were regarded as cranks by many in their day…
“Don’t rock the boat!” “Things aren’t soo bad!”
KMA!
Helen Bascom in reply to Clinton Tyree KM@’s comment, 2 months ago
Don’t rock the boat. Pfffft. Yeah, I have no doubt some people would just as soon see me shut up and go away.
Clinton Tyree KM@, 2 months ago
I’ll bet that people were saying it in the Warsaw ghetto…
Helen Bascom in reply to Clinton Tyree KM@’s comment, 2 months ago
All of us loud mouth trouble makers! Screwing up the status quo with our accusations of inequality! How dare we say such things! Stone her! :-(
Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished as they say. Punish me and call me names. I’d rather live in the light of reality than the darkness of denial.
Dave Moilanen, 2 months ago
I’m proud of you Helen! It’s so nice to see someone stand up for what they believe. You keep shouting and making noise! :-)
Christopher Bi..., 2 months ago
very astute comments helen if i wasnt so tired i would have more to say but well done will have to do for now.
Sunil Sharma, 2 months ago
I ‘m extremely delighted to see your great work of awakening.
Please see my painting ” Imagine Now: Heavenly Earth ”
Let me give my 2 cent input for your mantra:
I am good enough
I am self-reliant
I am a homemaker
I give love.
I am a provider
I expect that as long as women can say:
“MY job is vital and my wages are as good as a man’s”
“MY partner & I respect each other and are true friends”
“MY children are loved, cared & are our future”
“MY home is Heaven, I am the Queen”
“MY life’s aim is to make this world into a Heaven now ”
John Radosevich, 2 months ago
Helen, I admire you and the stance you are taking. I admit, it is tough for a woman to compete in a man’s world, I know, I lived it with my wife. I lived it with my father who physically abused my mother.The problem is huge and very real. I don’t have a solution, wish I did. No doubt you will take some knocks for voicing your opinion, but it won’t come from me. When I married my wife, I married a person, I didn’t marry my equal, I didn’t marry my slave, I didn’t marry my inferior, I married a unique person. Maybe that is why we have benn happily married for forty one years, and counting! Gentlemen, are you listening?
Lumineux, 2 months ago
I have had many a discussion and heated debate about just this issue Helen, and have come across this type of resistance and denial many, many times. It has led me to conclude, sadly, that women are often their own worst enemies. Harsh maybe, but true.
Anyone working in the field with women or with women’s issues, or are themselves impacted personally by the issues you have raised, knows full well we still have a long way to go to get anywhere near an equitable situation. It’s out there in front of us every bloody day, and the evidence is not just anecdotal. It totally beats me why the heck any woman would choose NOT to see it.
I am so over the prevailing, “I’m alright Jack, so there really is no problem attitude”, it’s just another way of saying “I’m ok, so f*#k the rest”...
Helen Bascom in reply to John Radosevich’s comment, 2 months ago
I hope the women will listen too John. I am not at all surprised that I am under attack for my views. I welcome it because it means I am touching nerves.
We need more men like you John.
Helen Bascom in reply to Lumineux’s comment, 2 months ago
Yes, and I am wrongly accused of being bitter and militant because I present objective data that discrimination exists. Most women are afraid to admit that all is not rosey posey and gender discrimination continues to be a pervasive problem.
Wendy Slee, 2 months ago
I agree entirely with you Helen….the thing I also believe is this is not just limited to women, but about all people….
we enclose ourself in our own beliefs and layers of conditioning, we satisfy ourself with what we have (or don’t have) or who we think we are or could be, and we then look outwards to everyone else and make “others” of them.
Then it is the “other” who is misguided, or wrong, or who has problems, or who is to blame for their situation…...and that makes our own lot in life so much easier to bear. Is this a coping mechanism? Or maybe pure and simple denial? all i know is that it becomes easier to overlook the issues that affect others while we see them as “other” – they become separate to ourselves, different, marginalized from “our existence” and therefore, easy to dismiss as not part of our own reality.
This can be said of not just women, but humans in general. (Look at soldiers in the war – so long as they see the opposing side as “others” it makes it far more easy to do what they have to do ~ kill ~ treat inhumanely etc….and not have to “deal” with it.
It is time the whole world, women included, realized that we are all different but we are all the same, and the connection goes far deeper than any of us realize. What we do to another we do to ourselves….How another lives, touches our own existence. We cannot bury our heads in the sand any longer.
I love how you stand up for what you believe. Never apologize for that Helen, and never be ASHAMED to say any of the things you do!
Helen Bascom in reply to Wendy Slee’s comment, 2 months ago
Thanks Wendy. Yes, by treating others as objects we can be very unkind, cruel even, and suffer no ill emotional effects. Those people, the enemy, others: all just ways of objectifying human beings to make it easier to dismiss them as human beings who are suffering, hurting, dying, in need of just a little help. I keep trying Wendy, but as the years progress and I see little improvement, I grow weary and sad.
Wendy Slee, 2 months ago
Helen, when you are faced with a crisis or situation or set of circumstances that are wrong, unfair or hurtful, that creates an energy in you….(the need to help, or heal, or change….)
The person or situation that needs help or healing creates its own energy…(a cry for help, healing or change or an opportunity for others do do so)
But how you deal with it, how you don’t let it beat you whether you are successful or not, how you remain true to yourself whether in defeat or success, and how you never let it beat you down or change who you are…
well…that creates a third energy and this energy is even more powerful in the universe….it is the power of the human spirit…...and it will endure long after you or I or any such situations have long been forgotten…
Just believe that by caring…..and never letting such matters force you to NOT CARE…...makes more difference than you know….
Helen Bascom in reply to Wendy Slee’s comment, 2 months ago
I’m tired and sad, but I will keep trying. I almost gave up and just quit a little while back. I’m glad I decided not to quit trying. I just need some rest, I think. The problems of racism and gender discrimination are so overwhelming and weigh so heavy on my heart and on my spirit, that sometimes I am overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. And when I hear from people that I am crazy and that things aren’t so bad, I just want to scream from the frustration of it all.
Wendy Slee, 2 months ago
I know…..the world and its injustices get to me like that, to the point where I do withdraw, just basically crawl under the bed (or the nearest tree) and stay there. IF it wasn’t for my children, I would probably never come back out….
Just know that I understand…..and you are not alone….
hugs xxx
Jessie M, 2 months ago
my gosh helen, you should right a book!!!
Jessie M, 2 months ago
that was supposed to be ‘write’ not ‘right’... lol
Melinda Kerr, 2 months ago
Shake it up for the 3rd world women. That’s where the majority (read NOT ONLY) but majority of abuse takes place. Please shake it up for them.
Melinda Kerr, 2 months ago
PS (Don’t agree the women on the other thread were embarrassed to admit they’re not in control of their lives…big call…)
Estelle O'Brien, 2 months ago
Helene, I know just what you mean by feeling sad and tired. I have been in just that place…I think when we decide to be active in grappling with the big issues in life, especially as women, year after year, in the face of ignorance, apathy and cruelty…..the weight can become crushing. Don’t give up….but don’t let it affect your health either (as I did). Take time out now and then to rest…really rest..among those who celebrate you. Feed your soul with beauty sometimes…or the imbalance will drive you mad. You have a courageous heart…so take care of it. xx
SkyFox, 2 months ago
Hell Yeah!
Nancy Stafford..., 2 months ago
We have to be strong.. helen that was great i love it…
like skyfox says yeah.. we women need to be in control of our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nancy Stafford..., 2 months ago
Helen I forgot to add this.. I work in a place where the last ceo was a man,
after he retired this year yeah now it a woman…. after working twenty four years there
were i work is equal pay… I never work another place… it the best.. Nancy
funkyfacestudio, 2 months ago
Helen, I think you might want to use stats from other places, It might be that this problem doesn’t really exist so much in certain places,although it seems that some would disagree .You have already used some stats from America and I can’t remember if you ever pulled stats from the UK (that thread is so long) I personally think It’s a global issue but that is just me and I would love for the conversation to continue.
Suzanne German, 2 months ago
helen – here here…
agree with everything you’ve said here….experiencing a very difficult political situation in my professsional life at the moment and it is regarding descrimination….not very nice at all…..women need to voice up and stay loud about these issues!
thanks
suzannex
Helen Bascom in reply to funkyfacestudio’s comment, 2 months ago
Well I offered statistics for Australia and was told quite pointedly that the data produced by the Australian government is not accurate. LOL
Helen Bascom, 2 months ago
My post from the forum
02 July 2008 4:39 PM EST
Oh I think some people have asserted that gender wage gap does not exist:
Well the ‘research’ is not in accord with my experience.
As for wages – I only know in the corporation I work for there is a set band for each level. Both genders earn the same based on that band, it has nothing to do with their sex, it has everything to do with their ability.
I was aware of where I was in the pay scale to my contemporaries in every place that I worked. I never felt gender inequity.
why im getting a proper wage . im not complaining
also have never experienced wage discrimination as each job I have had has been under a trade union award and an enterprise bargaining agreement.
worked out in the mines oil and gas some ladies drive 500 ks +to work there as a cleaner if they didnt like it they wouldnt do it . and they do love it and get great money . and the men respect them , and dont get treat them like shit
So women are not being paid less for doing the same work, it is just that the areas that they are more often employed in (like cleaning, cooking and administrative roles) attract lower wages than those of the men that work underground in the mines.
A series of generalizations about the lack of discrimination in personal experience is offered to support the proposition that all the data I have submitted is inaccurate. All these statements can be boiled down to this:
I am not discriminated against, I am offended by your suggestion that I may get paid less because I am female. Because I do not perceive discrimination, your data must be wrong.
ManaMoon, 2 months ago
More power to you girl…...Keep pushing the cause!!!! Heres food for thought…..on the subject of Suffrage movements in Australia….....Imagine being an Aboriginal Woman * in the 60’s…..and you were not even classed as a *Citizen in your own country!!!!
Helen Bascom in reply to ManaMoon’s comment, 2 months ago
Thanks for your support. I can not even begin to imagine how difficult it is for Aboriginal women in Australia, in the 1960s and in 2008. I wish there was something more I could do.
ManaMoon, 2 months ago
If you were to imagine that…......It would turn into a living Nightmare. Never undermine your’e airing of rights for woman!
Alex Moir, 2 months ago
YOU. GO. GIRL! These problems are so obvious that even a man can see them, how terrible! Many young women about my age or younger are under the greatest threat; they are percieved by the popular media, the hip-hop genre, and young men in general, as no more than “hos” or “bitches” that must rely on a man and hang by his side like a toy or a loyal dog. It makes me want to scream! WAKE UP LADIES!!!!! As an American male, I would be ashamed to date a woman or girl with such low standards.
Helen Bascom in reply to Alex Moir’s comment, 2 months ago
Thank you so much for that Alex.
shayne2011, 2 months ago
YOU. GO. ALEX. You’re one in a million.