Q. Why do dogs hate cats so much?
A. Dogs have had a hatred for cats ever since Andrew Lloyd Webber produced the hit musical “Cats”, and as a result left the canine community feeling jealous as to why cats should have a musical made about them and not dogs.
Q. How and when was Riverdance created?
A. Back in the mid 80’s, Michael Flatley and a few of his mates were anxiously queuing up outside the toilet of an Irish pub, when one suddenly began dancing from the waist down in an attempt to stop from peeing himself. Seeing this, the others consequently began to do the same, and as they danced, a passer by came and said “Wow what is that amazing dance you’re doing? I would pay money to see that!” to which they responded “We just really need the toilet!!” and that’s where it come from.
Q. What is a Kardashian?
A. A Kardashian is an incredibly annoying ego maniac that is only happy when a camera is on them.
Q. What do you do if your pet anaconda has escaped from its incubator and has you cornered in your living room? I really need the toilet!
A. Haha that’s a good one, you’re funny!
Q. What is the cheat code to get Angelina Jolie as your girlfriend?
A. I believe it’s up, square, left, triangle, right, circle, square, left, left, triangle, but if that’s not the one just ask Brad Pitt, he knows.
Q. Why does no one say “Talk to the hand” anymore?
A. After extensive scientific studies, scientists concluded that “Talk to the hand” was super lame! right alongside “Don’t go there girlfriend”
Q. Where did I leave my car keys?
A. On the side.
Q. What are roosters saying when they go “Cock-a-doodle-doo”?
A. Roosters are like the town criers of the animal kingdom, so for instance whenever you hear them say “Cock-a-doodle-doo” in human speech they’re saying “Hear ye, hear ya, Lindsay Lohan’s back in rehab”… yep
Q. How do I defeat the Dragon on level 16 of Dragon quest?
A. You have to use the fire sword you picked up on level 6 and the cloak of invisibility the wizard gives you on level 12… or you could just ya know… turn it off and go find yourself a girlfriend.