I don’t know if any of you have fully mastered the Redbubble layout yet but I for one am still struggling to figure it out after a year. I can’t decide whether it’s because the layout is confusing or if it’s because I’m just an idiot. But I can’t be an idiot because I completed that jigsaw puzzle the other day in under 6 minutes when on the box it said 2-4 years! Anyway earlier today I was trying to find my way to the recent writing page when I took a wrong turn and stumbled upon a Redbubble forum all about which actor would play you in a movie. I like to think Gerard Butler would play me, ya know just cos we’re so alike. But as I began to look a little closer at the posts in this forum I discovered that they all dated back to the very early beginnings of Redbubble, meaning the ones who posted them were among the first generation of Redbubblers. Carbon dating or ya know just looking at the date joined would put the profile pages at around 6 years old which in Redbubble years is like 3,000 years.
Scientists maintain that Redbubble was formed in 2006 A.D after a gargantuan cosmic event known simply as the ‘raising of the investor capital’. These profiles therefore are undoubtedly the ones who came before us, the first generation Redbubblers who arrived on the Mayflower… or ya know the AOL search engine. Legend has it, upon arrival, the first generation were greeted by the almighty creators of Redbubble who instructed the new arrivals to upload their artwork forthwith so that they may be sold to the general public and in turn receive for themselves a 20% cut of the profits. They were also instructed to create groups catagorized by particular themes such as “Pictures taken with the lens cap still on” and “Black and white pictures of Zebras”. Within these groups it was proclaimed, that challenges would be held, in which the winner would receive a gift voucher to the sum of $20 that may be used in the purchasing of items from Redbubble and Redbubble alone. It is said in ancient RB mythology that one of the very first challenge winners defied this rule in the fable of the foolish challenge winner who tried to pay for a rather fine veal cordon bleu at a fancy French restaurant only to find that the promotional code he provided to the maître d’ was not legal tender. In lieu of payment, the gentleman spent the rest of the evening in the kitchen washing up dishes.
The first generation rapidly grew ever larger in those early months, and it wasn’t long before Redbubble’s characteristic friendly aura was established as indicated in the Redbubble bible chapter 7 verse 4 “And Jonah said to the Redbubbelites ‘Hey, awesome, just been featured in the group Cats that look like celebrities’ and thus Mary replied ‘Nice one buddy, congrats’”
No one knows for certain quite what happened to the first generation. Some say they left to join Fine Art America after the great Redbubble layout change of 2009, while others maintain that they were plagued with slow broadband connection and consequently decided to jack it in all together, to live a life free from technology and that annoying little Microsoft paperclip. One thing is for certain though, that without the great efforts of those first few Redbubblers, sewing the seeds of collective creativity, Redbubble would not have flourished as it has, allowing the current generation to inherit the bubble we know and love.
Today we are left with a reminder, a legacy if you will, of their great and astounding artistic endeavours. And as I write these words, fully aware that I sound like an incredible douche, I am greatly humbled to be in the presence of such talent; for the artists may come and go but the art stays forever… unless they delete their account in which case they both go, but you know what I mean.
And who knows maybe when the next generation arrive they’ll look back at our profiles and think ‘Wowzerz these guys sure were real swell’ Yeah I predict that 1950’s American slang is gonna become real popular again within the next 10 years or so…