iAN Derrick

I reckon the kids’ schooling, under a highly-educated university-trained dole bludger, shows much foresight and excellent employment of available human resources.

‘Pretty good, I reckon. She has me shaving and wearing shoes. But Milly is a bit of a worry. I suspect she is Being Ockerrooed.’

‘Angus McDougall Padric O’Toole?’ There was dead silence until a little voice piped up with ‘That’s him standing there wagging his tail, Miss.’

‘Why, sergeant Clappers, are you asking me to remove my trousers?’

Some serious consumers of amber beverage stayed sober enough to rename it Heaven in the desert.

A bloke had to be pretty bloody stupid, two kangaroos short in the paddock, to even think about driving two hundred miles west of Burke …